my grief, time
woven by endless days and nights
my sorrow, the very breath of life
i remain bleak, under october’s silver skies
waiting only for this mortal ending, a solemn farewell
my dread, every drop of rain that falls
the heavens, so tenderly weeping
my regret, every beat of the heart
unrelenting
my shame, the scars that never fully heal
my misfortune, a sleep that i always seem to wake from
i am morose, laying embittered amongst the daisies
dying, for every unheard scream
my fate, unhallowed, like the ground i walk on
my disdain, hope... that simply never was
i fade, in a world so unforgiving
forever silenced,
for this is my solemn farewell.
Author notes
there is a way to read it in which it doesn't sound so repetitive... try and read it that way.
Written October 25th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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wow
that is so well written, you have a brilliant gift for writting, it flows so well, i'm kinda speechless (don't happen often) well done on a great write. keep it up
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Curious
The choice we make reflects in our life,s breath.
i was wondering why i was on your favorites list. i dont seem to remember you reading my life.
anyway this was very good, no actually those are the wrong words, infact i dont have any words to describe it.
i have lived that life, i died and came out with a free mind.
this piece is like a mirror to me or more specifically to a poem i wrote called "kiss the light goodbye".
you have a gift it is rare and i dont mean a gift for writing but a gift for seeing into your inner self, i wonder if you can do it to others, see inside them i mean, i could and i didnt like what i saw which is why i tried to take my life.
keep seeing
~~Quothorn~~ -
good use of words. u made words that usually sound forced, sound gr8. u have a good way w/ words. nice job!
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I am absolutely in love with the language that you use. It adds so much to your poetry, which is far from lacking in talent to begin with...I think that made sense.
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Very well done an eloquent rendition of solemn farewell very sad and descriptive worthy of much praise
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A-FRICKIN-MAZING!
Good stuff...and i mean it! this poem puts the reader right there and i felt the emotions in it. You are a good writer....and by the way, nothing suprises me! LOL -
wow...wow.
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Wow this is a great poem
It is so sad in depressing but at the same time happy ... dont ask me why I think that I just do!
Great poem!
~no1special~ -
sad till the last
The poem keeps the reader's heart also sad till the very end. written too well with plenty of emotional,content.The whole past life's experiences are quickly flashed across in a short but live poem that is hreat-rending! -
I like the dark rhythm of this.
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This was amazing, I could picture everything! Very beautiful.
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atmospheric
very atmospheric, the despairing tone was of just the right strength not too make it diluted or overly dramatic. loved the division of the poem with the word "unrelenting". congrats, hex -
Well im really tired and the last few poems i couldnt seem to get my oppinion in as it was in my head , i dont think i will be able to here either ,so for that i appolagize .. um .. it was .. Moving .. almost telling a picture book story .. bit sad .. good write though .. i give you a B
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A++
A poem of excellence. This poem was written from the heart. The title, the background theme, and the overall writing captured this poem to it's utmost perfection. An excellently written poem, and great imagery. Great expressive words used in this poem, which made the poem that much stronger. Great write. -
This is an excellent (but very poignant) write my friend. I didn't find it repetitive, but even if it were it sometimes adds an intensity. You portrayed the heart's toils very well indeed, for the imagery you used was expressive. Keep penning, and only say farewell to pain. Kate
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