Ere
Taking
Hurried breath
Each just a gasp.
Reaching to the stars,
Enwrapping man’s frail flesh
Against solar rays and wrath.
Langorous breeze and cooling wind,
Spreading Nature’s seed across the world,
Pushing impudent leaves from ancient trees.
Invigorating slothful souls with ease
Reaching every corner of the globe
Incandescent in mighty ire
Taking the footloose by storm
Seal shut the wary eye
Open spirit for all
Friend and foe too
Always there
In life’s
Race
Author notes
sorry, lol, just couldn't resist
A duble ethere acrostic (with pun) he he
Written October 23rd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Earth, Wind, Fire and Water ( 17 and Older) by qnhoneybee.
300 points, ended November 4, 2004, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow what a beautifully complicated write ( I do mean that in a nice way...lol). I think this is really stunning and extremely clever, of course that is the norm for you
Karen
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"Open spirit for all" is 6 syllables and that line needed to be only five, so I am sorry but your entry is disqualified.
Thanks for entering.
Seal shut the wary eye(6)
Open spirit for all(6)
Friend and foe too(4)
Always there(3)
In life’s(2)
Race(1)
Because this is an acrostic as well, I decided not to disqualify it. IF it was only a ethere I would. I am not sure what meesa will do yet. Thanks again for entering!! SaM
Edited on Nov 03, 2:39 p.m. because ''. -
this is a great approach to air. I like the ethere, I have not written one, but have written nonets so know the work involved to keep it poetic within such a tight structure. You have made good use of occasional rhyme, adds to the flow of the piece.
I like that you did not feel the need to have your lines grow with each syllable. It can be effective in some cases, but would be too much structure here.
Oh yeah - the acrostic - I like that it is not in your face...
Susan -
You must have been a defiant child..lol. Always wanting things your way or finding a way to satisfy yourself with what you would consider cleverness.lol (This is an inside joke for all you who are reading and can't understand
I still have only heard it as Earth, Wind, and Fire....added to it is a bit of Water, that when it freezes turns to ice This was very well done. A very enjoyable read. Thank you so much for entering our contest.
Sam
Edited on Oct 24, 7:01 p.m. because ''. -
As long as you come with work as this, please, never show any resitance to your muse or whatever gives you inspiration
Hugs,
Mari
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wild!
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"Ethreal spirits of air" is a great acrostic covering the element of wind: seems so much like a spirit, one you cannot touch or see, yet feel it we can. Well done! And, good luck in the contest!
Love and hugs, BonnieQ
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and, I for one, am glad you did not resist...cool piece...
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