He sees you when you're sleeping
and when the daylight fades;
the memories of what once was
before the long night came .
And when the daylight fades,
alone with thoughts of love
before. The long night came,
Returning to haunt the waking mind.
Alone with thoughts of love,
picture perfect, frozen bliss,
returning to haunt the waking mind
that rests upon dampened pillow.
Picture: perfect, frozen bliss,
counterpoint to guilt self-bestowed
that rests upon dampened pillow.
Dreaming dreams of yesteryear,
counterpoint to guilt self-bestowed,
the memories of what once was.
Dreaming dreams of yesteryear
He sees you when you're sleeping
Author notes
Written October 16th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- A Phrase For Your Writing Enjoyment.... by brushfire.
300 points, ended October 23, 2004, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Wonderful pantoum, but really hard to read with the background you chose. Good luck in the contest.
-
Sorry, didn't realize you entered...... Great write, you have done a wonderful poem with the phrase.... I wish you luck....... take care
sanity
-
Pantoun...a style I've never heard of, but like. The repetitiveness of it is great. Nice poem, I like the message and all. Good job, thanks for entering!
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