I'm down at the cottage
It is early morning
long before anyone has woken
I tiptoe in the hushed silence
and feel the moistness
of the dew,
and the prickiness of the grass
against my bare feet.
I step into the cool hushed water
feeling my feet sink
into the sand underneath
I breathe a sigh
I stand on the dock,
and stare
into the gorgeous fog
hovering gently over
the crystal blue lake
and into the trees
and mountain peaks beyond.
The majesty of nature
overwhelms me
and I can't believe
I
have been given the chance
to enjoy such beauty and calm.
I think about my family
sleeping soundly
back in the cabin
and I whisper a prayer
Author notes
I left punctuation out in certain places to leave it open for interpretation.
Written October 13th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- NATURE POEMS, PLEASE by Olivias Violin.
400 points, ended July 8, 2008, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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I love this!
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this is really lovely - i love cottages, i love mountains and i love early morning fog - beautiful imagery, well written, well expressed..I think I left the room for amoment, and i liked it..thank you
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wow
wow. that was really awsome! it really makes you picture it! -
Lovely! I was there with you...I could feel it, see it, hear it and smell it...
Excellent! -
love how you painted a picture of early mornings and quiet reflective solitude..reminds me of camping and fishing at a loch side ..great photo too..
~Col
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This was an exercise and we were not to pay attention to word choice it all. We had to say excactly what came out of our heads, and this was the result.
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I really liked the message you express here, and i love the picture, its beautiful... i didnt really like the word choices here tho, i felt they could have been more diverse, i dont know why, but using two of the same adjectives in the same few lines is a weird pet peev of mine... damn i hate that word, but good work, you did a nice job getting your point across, and it was a beautiful poem, it sounded like the picture was dripping onto the page in words
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this is really really great just like nature
its nice to see ppl writing bout nature and im into politics but im not gonna involve them in this peice its that good lol
Matt -
how pretty. it is fall and the season's change brings me feelings of nostalgia. to be out in nature like this gives optimal ambience to reflect on such memories. very soothing poem you have here. ~luminescent~
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That is great writing- just great!
David -
Ok...wow. That is just beautiful. Wonderful description of a beautiful moment. I love that theme of nature and I've written about that before, leaving everything behind just for a moment. But this is just amazing! I also thought the last two lines were very beautiful. Great poem!
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wow...very nice..just keeps getting better with each poem I read of yours..great job this..enjoyed both poem and pic.
~*~blu~*~ -
singing 'Sittin' on the dock of the bay, watching time roll away...' Ohhh, Duana!!! Can I come & live in your picture??? LOL What a beautiful picture, eh? & An even lovelier poem!!! Very, very well done, my Dear Friend...impeccably written...sigh I wanna go there...hehehe...what a beautiful world we live in...
Wanda
P.S. When ya get a chance, come read a poem (not mine) that I added earlier this evening to my author's page (top)...I think you'll like it a lot, if you haven't already discovered it...also, a poem you can find online by Archibald MacLeish, 'Ars Poetica'...both are poems about poetry & poets...enjoy, Sweetheart!!! I sure did...TTYL!!!
Edited on Oct 14, 11:46 p.m. because ''. -
I was saying that I left the puncuation out on purpose- I'm not worried about it.
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Don't worry about the punctuation! It worked great! I could almost feel the grass and bitter cold when you walked down the shore of the lake in the poem. Very nice images.
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Jen, Of course it also reminds me of every camp I ever went to growing up too, so it is a common scene for all I think, and is what makes it such a perfect photograph.
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i'm just speechless... what imagery... simply gorgeous. i like how you make one line just the word 'i,' it adds emphasis... very awesome,
~o.e.~
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Jen this picture was for an assignment but it is amazing how much it looks like the Cottage on the lake we went to in the summer when we lived in Canada. I am dying to know where the location of this picture is, because it is uncanny.
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On this site there is ALWAYS a need to mention things like that even if there is nothing wrong with it. But anyway, it's not that there is anything wrong with it, except that others might think that there are better words to use. Even I thought other words sounded better. I cared to mention it rather than fight about it later.
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I think woken is fine
I loved this too. You spoke of such a beautiful place, and the picture really adds to that. A wonderful piece.
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This sounds so beautiful. This is from that class! I posted mine too. I think it's a really cool picture, I love the way you explained it! Excellent write!
~Kayla
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Nicely done, Duana! Wonderful mood created.
Actually, I didn't see anything wrong with your use of 'woken', no need to mention it (unless it should be 'had' instead of 'has', perhaps? )
~ G
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I thought it was a delightful read. I could see and feel through your words what was experienced that morning.
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A winner!
Wonderful imagery - I love that you used the word 'woken' and nobody better say anything about it! I've learned that it is the poet's perogative to say whatever they want unless they specifically ask for advice. This is perfect, and the photo is beautiful! -
Outstanding
What a beautiful scene you have depicted here. I could feel the morning airt as I read this work. It makes me jealous and wanting to go there. Beautiful piece of work here. Keep up the great work. Take care and God Bless.
Michael -
excellent
This is a very beautiful write!
I have sen mornings like this while out camping.
At one with nature in the depth of no-where but the heart of the world.
Beautiful write! -
read it.
oh Duana this was Beautiful. I don't know how to explain it, but the wording of this write semed so innocent. It matched nature perfectly. I feel like I'm mumbling on, but I am really at a loss of words. Anywho Fantastic write, and God bless you
~Rachel~ *
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excellent~
This is a beautiful poem about nature
Especially in the early morning hours with the fog, woods lake and cabin
I just posted one about Night Watcher stars etc
Nice to meet you and hope you come visit me
Hugs
Susan~~~
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