Hit the street bangin'
Like the voodoo woman in the next apartment.
Hit the elevator singin'
Like the hot dog vender down the block.
Voice raspy beat blastin'
Thinkin' everything was gonna be aight.
Yes, Mamma gonna make everything alright.
Hit the door; slammin'
Like the frog in the iced over pond.
Hit the cigarette hackin'
Like Miss Cleo sellin' bail bonds.
Keep dreamin young baby
Thinkin' everything might turn out right.
Yes, Mamma gonna make everything come out right.
Don't you cry.
Mamma's going to make the sun shine tonight.
Author notes
I know this is a little untraditional, but it's about the everyday things that happen, and how, through all the oddities, something is right and I'm going to make sure of that for my son.
I commented on : Solace by dycz
Written October 12th, 2004
A contest entry
- dear. we must eat the liver. sweet as june. we must. dear. by jaunty pill.
300 points, ended June 20, 2006, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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There was a really funky rhythm to this, wasn't there? I liked it, it made the poem stand out. I can hear this sung, actually, and it has a very strong and definate voice - you might want to do something with it in a musical sense.
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Reminds me of Pink Floyd's song, Mother. Mother do you think...
Not a bad poem, a good message though, better than the last one I read from you for sure. Nice work.
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oh i like. especially the ending. very different and interesting. the flow was great. enjoyed. well done.
Blu -
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it
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Oh wow! this is great stuff, I just clicked on it because it was in the featured box. I like the last two lines especially..i don't know how to describe it...it's full of hope. Great Write Keep it up x
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This reads like a song to me... a sultry song that someone like Ella Fitzgerald would belt out. A pleasant read this morning, thanks.
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Thank you very much Sensuity for the comment. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it
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Thank you very much. I wasn't so sure about leaving the g's off of the ends and making such a different aspect of the write, but I'm glad it turned out so well. Thank you again!
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Great write....nice combination of background.
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A very different poem to those I usually read. I love it! you set a lovely picture. I love the auditory imagination portrayed in this ('blasting', 'slamming', 'hacking') it gives a lovely rhythm to it
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Thank you very much on the lovely comment. I appreciate your words. I had alot of fun writting this
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This is really awesome..it has a fun and funky beat to it, like a hip hip song almost. This is great work, and a lot of fun!
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Thank you very much for your nice comment. I really appreciate it.
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well done
I really, really, really like it. You did very nice with this poem. You're a very good writer. Great job! Keep up the good work
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promoting this.. 'cause it's my FAVORITE!
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I love this one, it makes me smile
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Completely amazing work! My favorite poem of yours by far. The flow of it is so catchy; it almost leaves you dancing. Please keep making more poems in this type of writing!
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The way this is worded, it has a very afrocentric voice. I say this not because there are a lot of words with the 'g' contracted at the end, or that some considered nonstandard (such as "gonna") are in usage. I say this because I read it aloud, and it reminds me of my own mom. Most women that I know fight through the hard times to make a more comfortable life for their children, and I admire anyone who does so. This is soothing, an assuring thought to the child. Very nicely done; sounded like a rap at first, but then toward the end I realized the impact this piece left.
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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