Mirage, and chaparral
Circle below your red tail
Heat, like a fever ghost
Up-drafting, you sail
And shadow play the trail.
All wing span, and talon
With eyes that never miss
Spry, but patient hunter
Red meat must be bliss
On this peneplain of no rain:
Prairie dog barks
& Rabbit tails
Road runner marks
Hot wind wails.
Life long mates heighten nests
Environment, and daily tests
Young to feed, and shade to find
A regal bird with dark brown crest
Predators make no man's pets
Spotted chest -- killer of pests.
Alone, but by choice.
With a desert voice.
Author notes
Written October 11th, 2004
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Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Merveilleux. This is a great write. I'm tempted to bookmark this one. Anyway, good job. Keep on writing these once in a while.
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Very solid althrough. Well done. "Up-drafting, you sail
And shadow play the trail" was a wonderful image. -
i like the poem alot , you can almost see the words moving to build up the picture infront of you , i like the ending alot , its very well written congrats
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You did not reply to my comment. I am not positive if I got it right or not....so I need your confirmation if I got it right, or if I did not, what is the name of your bird? I can't judge the contest until I hear from everyone. Thanks!
Cheryl -
It's desert brush and bushes.
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im lazy and i dont know anything about birds, so whats a chaparral?
i like the flow to this, kinda reminds me of agitation before the calm down, the before last stanza seems frantic almost with the last two the outpouring of release...
thas pretty good, for being about birds.
N...
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Great Job
This was very well done. I had to read it about eight times to make a final decision on what bird it was, and I am not sure if I am correct. I bounced between the Red tailed Hawk and the American Kestrel. Your poem seems to fit both of them except for the last two lines which leans towards the Kestrel. The Kestrel, even though they mate for life, they prefer to keep to themself, where the Redtailed Hawk often hunt together or side by side.
Your poem is very good. It fit the contest perfectly, but was written well, in spite of the contest.
Kudos and applause.
Cheryl
Edited on Oct 12, 1:57 p.m. because ''. -
It seems as though it has all been said before when it comes to your writing. You are a gifted wordsmith and you never cease to amaze me with your abilities.
You should be very proud of yourself and your talents.
Anna -
this is fantastic, great imagery, i was there!
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yah. I love birds in poetry, and you have done it very well. A standing Orgasm in your honor.
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well done!
This is excellent, beautiful, even! Imagery, rhythm, flow-- all well done.
Melinda
Edited on Oct 12, 9:01 because ''. -
Thank you.
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this was very well-written, which i'm sure you already know. the diction and rhythm were flawless. it's amazing how you can take a subject such as "birds" and create something so great.
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Excellent, Horus! But you know that already
. Your mood and imagery are superb for the cool determination and dignity of such a self-assured raptor.
~ G
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exceptional
You are such a talented poet and songwriter. I should add you to my favorites. Everything I read by you is so good, and this is no exception. This was a wonderful poem, simply put.
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