I remember when we were both 18, well I was 18 and you were 17 for awhile because I remember teasing you that I was older. What a stormy romance that was. We were each other's first love. I remember all those times on the phone, we would talk for hours. I remember after we hung up the phone, you would call me right back and say 'Oh sorry baby, I forgot to tell you I love you'. You were always so forgetful.
I remember towards the end, all those nights I waited by the phone for the phone calls that rarely came anymore. When they did come, I remember you saying to me 'I'm sorry baby, I forgot to call'.
I remember trying so hard to forget that I loved you. I remember trying so hard to move on. I remember, once I did, you started to remember our love and you started to remember to call, but it was too late. I had moved on. I remember though, how my heart skipped a beat at knowing you hadn't forgot.
It's been several years now since I've heard from you. I still remember how forgetful you always were. Today, my family all met at my dad's house. He cooked a big meal for everyone. My dad pulled me aside and asked me if I remembered you. I said, 'How could I forget? He was my first love.' He told me you had been sick and he forgot to tell me. He told me that you had died and he forgot to tell me. I'm not sure if I believe him though, because even after all these years, I've never forgot our love. I would have felt you leave. I'm sure of it. Besides, if you were leaving, you would've told me......or did you just forget?
Author notes
I wrote this for me. I just found out some bad news about someone I've always loved. This one is really not for critique. Please understand. I don't mind if you comment, in fact that is welcome. I will return the favor soon but probably not tonight.
Written October 10th, 2004
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thats a nice poem, its just like a story/poem very nice kkeep up the good work, and will you check some of my work out?
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Thank you Lynne. You are very sweet.
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Touching
To loose a friend/lover will always be devistating...to learn of it in this manner makes one feel as if they are the guilty ones...That is not true. The love you shared with this person was always there and will always continue to be there, even thought they may have passed on. Your friend, even though forgetful, would have never forgotten their love for you...this will remain with you forever. Rest easy my friend ...you and your friend will be in my prayers tonight
Edited on Jan 12, 5:40 p.m. because 'error'. -
Awe becca, what a sad story. That was the same way this guy died. Cancer...I don't know what kind and honestly, since no one remembered to tell me that he had died, I don't even know how long ago. The news shocked me so bad, I didn't even think to ask. I don't even know where he's buried. I DO intend to find out. It won't be hard to find out though. I am lucky in that respect as he worked for my dad as a city fireman. back to you sweety. Seems lately, we have much in common doesn't it? Thank you for sharing your story with me.
~Lyrical
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I wish I knew the right words to say to you, but I can offer you a . The first guy I was in a relationship with, I didn't think that I cared all that much for at all. As a matter of fact, I spent most of the time trying to think of a way to break up with him. We did good as friends but other than that there was nothing there. When I did break it off with him, he got so angry with me and left completely with no way for me to contact him at all. Last summer, I was listening to the radio at work when I heard something very disturbing. At first I thought it was my imagination or that he had just crossed my mind, but it wasn't my imagination. The disc jockey on the radio called out his name. The message I heard was "At the Britton & Koonz Bank there has been an account set up for Jamie Rushing a cancer patient. Anyone wishing to make donations to help with his medical expenses can make them into this account". He wasn't expected to make it. He was only 32 years old. I found myself in tears and on the phone trying to call anyone who might know how I could contact his family. I never did find out anything about where his family had moved to, and I don't know if he made it through the cancer, but I do know that it hurt me more than anything to know that I couldn't find him to be there for him. He may not have wanted me there, but I just wanted to let him know I still cared for him. My heart goes out to you at this moment in your life, and you will be in my prayers. I only wish there was more that I could do. May God Bless and Keep You Safe!
becca
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Thanks EternalLoveRush. This really isn't a 'normal' write. My first love died and I just found out so I guess I was just remembering. No need to feel you have to give a huge comment. I was mainly getting this off my chest. Thank you for reading. I'm always happy to see you on my pages.
~Lyrical
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hey, this is sad, cute, almost romantic, and touching all in one. i really like it, i dont quite know how to comment on it as such. its different, unique. well done. I love it. Amy x
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It is a lonely feeling to know that others you have loved can take thier last breath, die...leave this world and not give you a second thought. Makes me want to look up everyone I cared about and at least tell them that I remember them and remember that I did care.
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Yeah....sometimes I look back and wonder about the people I cared about so long ago. It leaves you feeling a bit desolate and disconnected. They're gone...as if they never existed. And with each of those people who vanish in the night, you are left just that much more alone.....until there's no one there at all?
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Thanks Wolf. I have had comments disappear now and then too. Must be cyber gremlins ey? Thanks for the comment.
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I swear I read this before but for some reason I dont have a comment on here maybe because my Internet explorer is being a pain the BEHIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great job on this piece! I am sorry for your lose hope all the good memories are there forever more! GReat job writing this piece!
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Thanks Rambler. Yes I guess that IS what this is. My yellow ribbon.
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Sometimes I see a makeshift marker, usually something with a ribbon tied to it, by the side of the highway. Somebody's effort to express something about the person who was killed there, taken quickly before they ever said all the things they wanted to say. This looks like your marker.
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Thank you David. I'm feeling a bit better this morning. Then again, it IS early
Thanks for the comment and the suggestion. I may go into the woods and scream these words out
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So many thing to say and no way to say them except to the ether. We toss those thoughts and words into the night and hope they fall on the right ears. I feel they hear those heartfelt emotions. There can be closure. Speak out they can hear. Touching words. Sincerely, David
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Thank you Tweak. I'm ok, really. It was just such a shock and the fact that no one told me...but no one knew they should. Our relationship was many years ago but you just never forget your first.
Edited on Oct 11, 5:00 because ''. -
and so the breeze blows by as the winds of time, and we forever are lost in its whirl; watching the leaves making their leave as still we walk this world... i sincerely hope you can cheer up soon. we can only get stronger in our experiences; and the sun will soon shine again.
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Thank you, especially for the hug. Needed that.
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I lost a good friend once, we had grown up pretty much together, there was once four of us, now three. When I found out about his death, in a racing accident, it was hurt. The four of us had all raced, raised cain, and had gotten drunk together.
Although he was not in the same category, he was like a brother. It is slow getting over something like this, and a love, must be worse.
Hugs my friend! -
Thank you so much my friend. Whatever your circumstance was, I am sorry you had to go through anything painful and wish you all the luck in the world.
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Thank you girlscoutmom for your thoughtful comment and I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. I can't imagine when that day comes to me. You will write about it when you're ready.
~Lyrical -
Thank you OneForEternity. It's very comforting to read comments that are so heartfelt. I was very shocked to find out that he had died. Thank you again for your kind words.
~Lyrical
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Oh-- I'm so sorry! I can relate. I had a similar circumstance. My heart goes out to you. I hope that writing this out helped you- sometimes it's the only way, or at least part of the way. Take your time and handle your feelings with care.
((hugs)) to ya,lady! -
This was wonderful. Tears came to my eyes when reading it, because it touches a very soft spot in my heart. I lost my mom almost 2 years ago right before Christmas. I still have not gotten up the nerve to write about my feelings, but I guess it takes time. very wonderful poem!!
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that was so sad
first loves are the worst. you always remember what they felt like and the butterflies in your stomache at the very thought of them. i still feel every papercut he gets (or id like to think so anyway) im so sorry for your loss and im sure he will always remember the love you shared, no matter how forgetful he is.
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Thanks Manicmuze. Yes I guess this is more of a journal entry. I just started writing and didn't stop until I felt I had said enough to myself..for now anyway. Thank you for your kind words.
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Thank you touchof1der for your sweet comment. It did me some good to write about it and it is doing me good to read nice comments like these. Thank you very much.
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This feels like a journal entry to me. A very beautiful memory and i'm so very sorry for your loss. You've captured these emotions very well. Once we move on, sometimes it is just too late to ever go back.
Very honest and real, nicely done.
~ Wendy -
This is very moving. Your sadness comes through loud and clear and I am so sorry for your loss. It's good to write about it. Allow yourself the pleasure of feeling all of those wonderful memories all over again and when you are ready and in your own time, you can put them away for safe keeping. You're allowed to write for yourself. I do it myself. My wish is that you will be blanketed in comfort, warmth and only the fondest of memories. Stay well!
Edited on Oct 10, 6:52 p.m. because ''. -
Thanks sweety. It did help some.
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This really threw me for a loop at the end I got all the way up to your father asking you if you remembered(by that time I had figured out that this was a true story), and I was so much expecting something else. Robin , I am so sorry about that loss I hope you found some comfort in writing it off your chest...
much love,
Reenie
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