Shivering and stuttering,
not what I intended.
Be brave, breathe deeply
I must not let them get me.
Those claws, those talons
Sharpened to a razor
bearing down upon my naked skin
as i quiver within.
I move, I dodge,
I scamper, I wail.
Caught in that tight grasp.
Escape? To no avail.
Lifted high
beyond saving's reach.
Lowered gently
into the abyss below
My heart skips a beat
As my blood runs cold
I catch my breath...
my soul's been sold.
Scrubbing, rubbing
Bubbling and grumbling.
That's what I remember
Of my childhood baths.
Author notes
Enjoy
Written October 10th, 2004
A contest entry
- Scare us with a twist... (New Member Contest- October) by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended November 2, 2004, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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LOL! I had no clue what the twist was until I got to the end of the poem -- what a surprise! Great write. Good Luck in the contest.
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EEEKKKK!!! that is one bad way to think of a bath, your poor parents
this was a delightful read, I enjoyed it. thank you for entering and good luck!
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Reminds me of the nightly tussles with my boys when they were young. Great poem; kept me on the edge of my chair while reading. Thanks for entering and good luck.
~Willow~ -
LOL
I love it and it reminds me of children who hate to take baths
Loved the lil twist
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
Susan~~~ -
Yuck! Baths are the scariest thing in the world. Well, at least they were when I was a kid. I really liked this one and you rending just gave me a great chuckle.
~ John
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very good
i loved it all the while i ws reading it i was trying to figure out how it would end.
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9/10
its too good!!! its actually cute! best of luck. -
Thanks for the lovely comment. I remembered one particular event when I hid behind the sofa because I didn't want to have a bath! Thanks for the encouragement. Will check out your poems too very soon... angie
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LMAO great one! My nephew hated baths as a kid - no idea why... he used to scream sooo much when we had to wash his hair too
aren't I an evil aunt?
Wonderfully presented, and very good use of imagery
good luck and thanks for entering
Hayley x x -
A very unexpected finish - abslutely delightful. I thought perhaps you were dreaming of Raptors! lol Nothing quite as tenacious as a Mom who wants to bath her kid is there?
Lovely entry - thank you, good luck and Welcome to AP -
this was amazingly briliant, i loved it, good job
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LOL! this was brilliant! did not expect that at all. Very good poem and very good twists. The rhyme was bumpy but I suppose that was done purposely to convey the actual adventure or rather torture of the bathing experience. Well done! definately applauding this one.
chris
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4 old applause
