Market for moons
the advertisement read.
Two soulful spoons
of spun sugar did thread.
The porch light did flicker
in dead calm of night
and children should bicker
part of young girls delight.
Out in the garden,
no concept of time.
And they're called in for dinner
in well-rehearsed mime.
No fear for the young ones
playing outside alone.
Parents safe in the knowledge,
after dark they'll be home.
Author notes
Just thinking about how it was when I was a kid. How come they grow up so much faster now? Definitely one developement in modern society that disturbs me...
Written October 8th, 2004
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Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You're right. I can't think why I didn't do that in the first place! Thanks for the suggestion.
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I quite like this one...it's whimsical, and the rhyme really adds to the flavour of childhood being portrayed here. I do think for ease of reading, you may want to break the poem into stanzas...I know they would be small ones, but each little set of rhymes is so complete within itself it's a shame to distract from that with glimpses of what has just past and what is yet to come.
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I loved it...wow
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This was one of those poems that didn't really have a subject until it was half written, but I see the first four lines as a kind of "childish dream", kind of like some warped sense of reality through a kids eyes. Maybe...
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I really like this for two reasons -
1. It's structurally sound, good flow, yadda yadda
2. It brings back memories here too (= I remember playing outside with the others and at a certain time all the parents would call in the kids hehe.
However, one thing I didn't understand was this first part:
"Market for moons
the advertisement read.
Two soulful spoons
of spun sugar did thread."
I cannot make head nor tail of it and I don't understand what relevance it may have with the rest of the poem. Care to explain?
Otherwise, well done (=
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