I can never stop before I die,
Smashing my head into planets
Living out your greatest lie.
The merry-go-round kids beg "Why?"
As I thrust my skull through granite
I can never stop before I die.
Sure, I'll wear out my grandest tie
To death dance 'pon your magnet
Living out your greatest lie.
You could say I was 'shamed to try;
Then name an artist that truly hasn't,
But I can never stop before I die.
I was bred to burn; as you were to fly...
Watch me light up just to fragment
Living out your greatest lie.
I let it all go with a great big sigh
There is no clear until you sand it
Living out our greatest lie?
I will not stop, though, I will die.
Author notes
Written October 8th, 2004
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Please provide an option choice and I will comment when this is done. I will allow 24 hours to change this or I will remove this.
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that was great
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Oh, man. I never realized someone else had thought up "violent villanelles" here in AP already. Pleased to meet you, sir. I'm adding you to my favorites now. You've just raised the standards in villanelles for me, and now it'll take me even longer to write a "violent villanelle" of my own.
Your poem is not violent, per se. It's just I like the consonance of the self-made title. I liked it a lot, so applause to you. -
Talion doesn't know what form it is, but she likes the rhythm, rhyme and repetition. I admire the way you can describe things and the way you use your vocabulary and various techniques to construct poetry.
Cheers,
~Tal~ -
I love it... its a really great write... thanks for entering my contest!
Hill -
Yummy.
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A terzanelle (or whatever)? Very good, very good. Yeah, she may be better than you at winning but at least you can say you tried. Ha! Erm, life doesn't quite work out like that, does it? Ignore me. Barbie. Xx
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I agree with those others...if you stop writing then you will....no...no, i don't.
a trained poodle on dexatrim. -
trying to read the text on this page gave me a headache, maybr you should consider changing the background color. as for the poem, it was very well written, and i enjoyed it. nice work :-)
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I AGREE WITH INDIVIDUALITY....IF you stop whatever it is you do you will die. Imagine this my Dr. told me if I quit smoking it would add a great increase on my health problems lol. So did i quit nope, doc told me not too. My body can't handle alot of stress and the smoking keeps me semi calm. GOD BLESS YOU AND TAKE CARE GOOD WRITE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LAURA~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I think to stop is to die, we keep on running as fast as we can through the madness we call life, and hope we get something right.
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