An old friend of mine died today,
a dear, old friend I never met.
I never had a chance to thank him,
to my great sadness and regret.
He made me laugh a million times.
He was always so much fun to watch
making jokes about his wife, his dog,
and his doctor, Vinnie Boom Botz!
He found the humor in a hard life,
though he was just a "regular guy".
I've heard his act a thousand times
but I always laugh until I cry.
Though he wasn't blessed with an actor's looks,
the world should be glad he heard the call
because he gave a voice to every one of us
who ever thought, "I get no respect at all!"
Ah, Rodney, I wish you could have lived forever.
The world is a lot darker now that you're gone.
But I'm sure you're making 'em laugh up in heaven
and the gifts you gave us will always live on.
Since you were always at the top of your game,
your passing was something I didn't expect.
But I can see you cracking up God right now
and hear Him saying, "Rodney, you have my respect."
That would probably come as a surprise to you
because, let's face it, you weren't exactly devout.
But I can't imagine God having no sense of humor
and I don't think that's what heaven's about.
"Rodney," He'd say, "I know you weren't a choirboy
but you're just as good or better, and here's why -
You made people laugh and forget their troubles
in a world where laughter's often in short supply.
I know you'll like it up here in heaven
and I'm sure that you'll never be lonely
because we've recreated your comedy club
and the place is already standing room only.
A lot of your old buddies are waiting inside.
Just like on earth, up here, you're a star.
Don't worry about being on your best behavior.
There's only one Rodney, so just be who you are.
Sam Kinison's sitting at the bar inside.
Andy Kaufman wants to say hello, too.
In fact, there are millions of people here
who would love to say thank you to you."
Then, with His arm around you, he'll walk you inside.
All your friends will be there, happy and healed.
He'll walk up on the stage, take the mic and say,
"Ladies and gentlemen . . . Rodney Dangerfield."
Author notes
Please visit Rodney's site at www.rodney.com You'll find this poem there in the "About Rodney" section.
If you love roses, you'll also love Joan Dangerfield's site at www.jungleroses.com You have got to see the size of these Amazon rainforest roses. Amazing!
A few of my favorite Rodney Dangerfield jokes . . .
I always wondered why a car salesman calls a car a "she". He always says "She's a beauty", never "He's a beauty", and I found out why. A car and a girl are very much alike. I mean, on a cold morning, when you really need it, it won't turn over!
I know I'm not a good-looking guy. I was an ugly kid, too. My mother breast fed me through a straw! One year, I was a poster boy for birth control. I had plenty of pimples, too. One day, I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. One Halloween, I asked my dad what kind of costume I should wear. He told me to put a pair of jockey shorts on my head and go as an ass.
I was lost at the beach once and a cop helped me look for my parents. I said to him, "You think we'll find them?" He said, "I don't know, kid. There's so many places they could hide."
Before I got married, I had a blind date with a girl named Rhonda. I waited and waited. She finally showed up. I asked her, "Are you Rhonda?" She said, "I don't know, are you Rodney?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "I'm not Rhonda!"
I was making love to this girl one time and she started to cry. I said, "Whattsa matter, babe? Are you gonna hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now!"
But she was no bargain, either, boy. She had pigtails under her arms. An ugly girl. Ooh, was she ugly! When she walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs! And fat, too. She was so fat, when she went swimming, she left a ring around the lake! When she wore a watch on each arm, she covered two time zones! When she wore high heels, she struck oil!
I'll tell ya, my wife, that's another thing. She can't drive, you know? She hit a deer one time. It was in the zoo! She can't cook, either. In my kitchen, the roaches hang themselves!
And boy, is she stupid. A guy stole the car one day. I asked her if she saw what he looked like. She said, "No, but I got the license plate number."
One day I caught a guy jogging naked in front of my house so I asked him why. He said, "Because you came home early!"
My wife had me install mirrors over our bed. She said she likes to watch herself laugh.
I'll tell ya, she's nothin' but trouble. It's a strange feeling to see your own home phone number on a bathroom wall!
She likes to talk when she's making love. In fact, she called me the other night from a hotel.
Alright, I better stop. I could go on forever. Rest in peace, Rodney. Thanks for all the laughs. And condolences to his lovely wife, Joan. Thanks for making his final years so happy.
Written October 7th, 2004
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Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I really liked this, You penned a fantastic tribute to the man himself. A perfect tribute to the man who made millions laugh. Excellent
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Mark,
Just today had a conversation that we discussed God having to have a sense of humor. What a moving tribute to an ordinary guy who could split everyones' sides. I tell you, he finally got some respect with this write.
You did a wonderful job of telling what he was to you, and of his style. Tremendous tribute to your friend.
ap
Edited on Sep 16 because ''. -
OMG!
I DIDN'T KNOW HE DIED! I am so glad you wrote this piece about him, otherwise, I may have not known for awhile, I'm sure they addressed his death on tv but I don't watch the news that much anymore...Wow 
What a funny, and carefree soul he was, and he will be greatly missed by his family , fans, and loved ones, this poem is beautiful Uncle Mark, I literally cried. Love You 
Your Niece 
Sara
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excellent~
I always loved Rodney Dangerfield too
This was a perfect tribute to the man who made us laugh and look on in awe and wonderment
Excellent dedication
2 of my fav actors died this year
John Ritter and Christopher Reeeve
May they be in heaven smiling away
Loved this and missed ya
Come by and see me too
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Such a wonderful tribute to the Great Rodney Dangerfield. I too had not heard of his passing. He will missed by millions!You couldn't help but love the guy.
Anna -
Mark, my wondrous Friend...ya done him proud...Good Man...& you both have my respect...Bravo, Mark!!! Rest in Peace, Rodney!!! Amen
~ 
Wanda
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Mark,
This is really good. I had no idea that he passed away, and on my birthday at that. It sucks. He has always been a favorite, not only to me and you, but to many. Thanks for sharing this, he will always be one of my favorites.
Again, thanks for sharing this wonderful poem.
Tammy
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Hmmm... I guess you could say you were and still are... a real true fan of his. That's quite a neat little story you shared with me! Definately enjoyed this write, and the story in the comment
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Mark, even with your humor in this, I got some major goose bumps going on. I think you summed up exactly what would go on up there in Heaven. I can actually see it all happening as you described it. It was definitely a dark day when I heard the news about him passing on. The world lost a bit of humor that day for sure. But with people like us keeping his and other’s memories alive, the world will never be too dark. Thanks for this wonderful tribute.
~ John
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Hi Aimee,
Thanks for the comment. I'm glad you enjoyed this one.
Rodney was definitely my role model as far as comedy goes. There was a time when I knew all his material because I had every CD he ever made. I was in a deli one night in Hollywood and I heard a voice that sounded exactly like his. I looked over and the source of the voice was a guy who looked a lot like him but was much younger. It was downright spooky. On the way out, I stopped at his table and asked, "Who do people say you look and sound like?" He said, "Uh, lemme think . . . Rodney Dangerfield?" It turned out that he not only looked and talked like him, but he was actually one of Rodney's writers! I asked him if he became a writer for Rodney because he looked like him, or if he started to look like him after he was hired. I mean, he looked like something Rodney spit up. lol He said it was one of the great mysteries of our age. I then told him I knew all of Rodney's material. Thinking it was an empty boast, he challenged me to a duel. He said he would say the first part of the joke and I would say the second. I accepted the challenge and sat down. It went something like this -
Him - "I named my dog Egypt. You know why? Because . . .
Me - "He leaves little pyramids everywhere."
Him - "My car, you kiddin', I got nothin' but trouble. Every Sunday, I . . ."
Me - "Take the wife and kids out for a push."
This went on for about half an hour. By then, a huge crowd had gathered. It was like the High Noon of one-liners. He finally had to concede that I did, in fact, know all of Rodney's material. He said, "I bow to you." True story! lol
Mark
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I guess I don't watch enough news... because I wasn't aware that he had passed. Hm.. Anyway... I liked that man, not only because he made me laugh til my sides split, but also because he was "real". Ya' see, Hollywood and all that jazz, didn't make him change who he was. The average guy, who just happened to be funny as heck... and he used it well too. I've caught a couple old comedy shows of his lately, and it's that laughter that can heal anything
I know he's doing well up there in Heaven, how can he not? I really enjoyed this piece, Mark. I can see how much he meant to you, and what he's made you feel. It's awesome to have a "role model" like Rodney. May he rest in piece. And may you keep writing these awesome words of yours, which are a pleasure to read
~Aimee
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Hey Josh,
That would be great. If heaven is everything I hope it will be, we can all meet at Dangerfield's Comedy Club and spend eternity laughing along with Rodney. The thing I loved about him most was that we was "old school" - he just went right for the laughs with a bang bang bang delivery without all the angst many modern comedians have about their traumas in life. He had a hard life but there was no heaviness in his material, just taking away pain's power by finding the humor in it, which is one of the keys to happiness. He even joked around about "heaviness"! lol He said,
"Other people wake up in the morning and they say, 'Ah, a new day! Up and at 'em!' Not me, boy. I wake up and the pressure is waiting for me. Sometimes, I even talk to it. I say, 'Hi, heaviness.' And it answers, 'You're gonna get it good today. You're gonna be drinking early.'"
Laughter is always the best weapon against the crap life throws at us because it renders it powerless. With your sense of humor, I'm sure you know exactly what I mean.
Thanks,
Mark -
Wow! what a great tribute! I was not a fan of his, but certainly this poem is a outstanding one! Good for you. I hope he rests in the heaven of his choice and that his love for fun brings from heaven his voice.
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Mark,
I haven't had the pleasure of your impresonation, YET!! But you emotion, and your respect come across so poigently. YOu've got one hell of a heart beating in that chest of yours. And, when we're in heaven together...we'll be sure to catch Rodney one Friday night...for sure!!!!
s' monk -
Thanks Dragon,
I impersonate him so well because we had so much in common. I get no respect, either! No respect at all! haha
Mark -
I didn't hear about his death...I need to watch to the news more often
I like his jokes and movies too. They all made and still make me laugh. Some of my favorite movies with him are Caddyshack (I think that is the correct title)and Back to School.
A big loss to those who like a good laugh
K&L,
Mari
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He will be missed....but he'll live on in all of you late night jokes at the bar in your perfect impersonation of him...lol!!!
Nice poem...
Dragon -
This was a very good poem. I agree with luck in that the picture just captures him perfectly. I want to write something for him myself, but it's hard... I still want to give it a shot though. Anywayz, good write and believe me, Rodney's keeping the other angels laughing.
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this is a beautiful tribute to an amazing and talented man. love the picture too, really captures his essence. i don't know anyone who's not a fan, and i wouldn't want to!
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I really enjoyed this write. I too was shocked to hear he had died. RIP Rodney. Great job!
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