A masked female
Living in her own facade
Dancing relentlessly upon this stage
Though no one really notices
She wisps along the cold wooden floor
Gracefully, as if with wings
Spinning around until the world seemingly stops
Never once resting for air
She laughs when they laugh
Tears fall when expected
Hugs come when there's warmth
Kisses are few and far between
She was once one of them
Joyful, gorgeous, caring
Listened to the woes of others
Ones very much so like herself
Yet the disappointment welled in their eyes
As she failed to achieve as they thought she should
Failure after failure she fell deeper
Until nothing more could come of her
They looked upon her with disgust
Resentment at the person she had become
Teardrops fell until there were no more
But no one seemed to notice
A masked female
Living in her own facade
Collapses willingly upon this stage
Finally finding the peace she'd dreamt of
Author notes
Written October 7th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- DARK loyalty by theDARK1.
330 points, ended January 24, 2006, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this contest has been long over due to be judged and i have to thank you so much for having the patience to continue to participate. i'm glad that i made it exclusively to those members that had me on their favorites list (because i'm sure other people would have complained about it not being judged in a timely manner. i came up with a way to judge this contest without any favortism involved. you will be assigned a bingo number and it will be entered in the cage for drawing. once each poem has been assigned with said number, then a drawing will be held and the list will be published in the order the balls come out of the cage. look for the ball number at the end of this comment.
many don't understand that failure is achievement. itz been proven time and time again in disoveries. medicine for cures were not made instantly. to fly like a bird was not achieved in a day. the wheel took time to go from buggy to automobile. more examples could be cited til the day turns night. but the main key here is to know much more success has been achieved through failure. even in my own life. when i have failed, i was willing to learn from it to make myself a better person. as for people that surrounds others, they laugh and disgrace them for failures...but they don't laugh once they succeed and surpass those who were laughing. in which i feel the saying holds true about getting the last laugh.
thank you for entering, luvya, DARK
your ball is: i-30
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The woman felt un-noticed, no matter how hard she tried and tried - she always felt as if she fell short of expectation, time after time. Finally at the end she just collapses, not able to try any longer
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You have embedded a lot of (sad) emotions in this poem, what makes me wonder, what exactly did make this masked woman feel like this... though in first paragraph you say that no-one really notices her dancing, a little bit further I read that she can't achieve what everyone is expecting her to achieve...and then in the end, she collapses...
was the woman disappointed in herself, because she just couldn't achieve what she wanted to, or was she disappointed because of the public, expecting too much of her...
I like the open-ness of this... the reader can ask so much questions around it, and then guess for some answers... something what poetry really is about if you ask me
I see the author of the contest is still judging, so I wish you the best of luck
Leander -
A wonderful poem, it's so sad she did not achieve her dream, to look on her in disgust is not very nice, sometimes we can't always achieve what we want in life, but we go on~angelica
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A profound write. Holds lots of emotions and drama. Very nicely done.
S♥m
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This is so good. It makes me wonder if it's about you. I hope not, that would be ver sad.
Thank you so much for your comment on my story. Rarely do I get such well thought out and wonderfully worded comments.
~*Destiny*~ -
enjoyable
sometimes we push the ones we love too far.just expect to much and grow dissapointed when they fail.you did a great job on this.it has a great strength and vast emotions.it shows great depth poetically as well as emotionally. -
its a very good write, and it makes me chill....im glad i stopped by and read it
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