Don't Go

"please, love, please don't go"
no, pull me closer
and fold me into your arms
tears blur carefully applied mascara
hold me tighter as i shake my head
                                         "i can't, I'm sorry, i can't"
                                                   "this isn't working"
                                                     "i don't know why"
i can't stop this hurting, no matter what you say
[the receiver clicks leaving an empty dial tone]



the cool barrel of a gun encircling my temple would be a relief
draw out some of the heat steaming up my brain
i can't shake the dampness
i can't shake these doubts
a reckless heart will find its place alone reflected by puddles
with brown leaves placed upon them
woven into scores of poetry and paintings
because sometimes it feels good, it feels right, to be lonely

this is my disease