Lonely nights
restless sleep
My heart's gone cold
My soul now weak.
My lover's gone.
His eyes did wander
New lustful thoughts
He did ponder.
He wondered
How wrong it would be
To see a different girl
All while dating me.
He tried it out
Thought it not all that wrong
He wondered why
He hadnt done this all along.
Many months
They did pass
And two hearts
He did have.
After awhile though
He found it hard
To date us both.
He knew he had to chose
Between one of us two.
And as you can see
He didnt choose me.
And now he's truly
Where he's meant to be
With her
.....6 FEET DEEP!!!!
Author notes
well i have really no clue where this came from. i guess from being cheated on in the past could make these thoughts come to my head. who know? lol
Written October 6th, 2004
A contest entry
- Losing you by My Lestat.
300 points, ended November 1, 2004, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
good job, i really related to this. i know it sucks but you'll find a real man eventually. until then, you can toy with their hearts like they do with us hehe.
-
awesome poem
-
hey chick,
aww happy late bday!!! thx for my comment! that suxx that he would do that. the 6 feet part means that he's dead and buried 6 feet in the ground. wow ur finally in junior high...awesome..good luck with that. highschool is kinda crap right now..its soo boring..lol. well hey just find a awesome-er (lol) guy to flirt with and tell ur friend not to flirt with him. make sure he has shaggy hair! lol. sorry i love shaggy hair guys...lol. anyways..thx for my comment..love ya!
~amanda~ -
awesome!
Hello dear friend, i havent been on the internet much bcuzz i have been studying hard in grade 7. yesterday was my birthday. i have a bf but i am breaking up with him bcuzz he would grab my best friend butt in front of me and its a slap in a face when he does it to sombody else. when i told him to stop grabbing my butt he would grab my best friends butt
o well. but anyways this is a great poem and i feel your pain but mine isnt as bad as yours bcuzz we werent actually goin out we just both liked each other so we were bf and gf. i just dont get the 6 feet part. i like the last 2 stanzas, they are really good and sad. i can see how he hurt you and this poem is very good and emotional. Poetry is the best way to let it out. bye
luv from
horsecrazy -
Kick ass poem amanda shit i wouldnt worry about it dont loose any sleep over it u need all of it u can get but i know youve probably already gotten over it thanks for what u have helped me with to your a ture friend
-
wonderful peices. i am going through somethign like this right now so i can really relate. i am sorry taht you had to experience that with so much pain. atleast it is over right? but then again you can never forget. no matter how hard you try. it will always burn. i could feel the stong emotion in this peice. just captivating. i loved it. and for that guy that did that to you. screw him, you deserve better.
-
thanks so much
-
I know I already commented on it but you know damn well its an awesome poem of course I hope you do well in my contest!!!
~Tami~ -
cool!
lol that was great -
Oooo I can relate to this. There's definately some angst here, though I think this poem is a little cliched. *sigh* It is so hard to avoid cliches.
I always have trouble. It was good, though.
Peace
~SS~ -
Nicely done!! ^_^ A bit dark, though...it has a good rhythm, a good rhyme scheme...Hope you write more like this! (just not quite so morbid...)Keep it up!
-
Good job! Very nice! I can feel your pain. One nitpick, the "chose" in "he didn't chose me" or whatever, it should be "choose." Great poem! Keep up the great work!
God bless you,
~~~~~
Erika ~~~~~
-
good poem reminds me of my life somebody choose somebody eles over me a long story but anyway check out some of my poems at allpoetry.com/truth
-
hey kels,
yeah i dont really like it either. i couldnt figure anything else out tho. i wrote the 1st stanze a LONG time ago and then i just now added to it cuz i wanted to make a poem out of it. lol. thx kels! *hugs* <3ya! -
hey yeah it did happen to me. he still denies it too. im not with him anymore lol. i still talk to him off and on but its not that same. thx 4 the comment oh and it might take me awhile to answer back and stuff cuz i have to use the school comp cuz my internet is shut off at the moment
~amanda~ -
I love it and the angst you had to show for it was awesome and let me ask you a question..did hat really happen to you or did you just somehow get that feeling where you can write anything?...well it was awesome and I love it!!!!!! keep up your work!!!!!!
-
lol, dang girl, I'm happy I never cheated on you... which makes sense, since I'm a girl, lol... anyhoo, This is a great poem! I don't really like the second to last stanza, it doesn't flow with the rest of the poem that well... other than that, I love it!!! keep on writing, hehe! love ya!
~Kelsey
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
4 old applause
