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lexicon of the neuron

even when i wonder how i came to this place,
i understand what has to happen for this terrible fate to be eradicated from myself.  
Much like i must eradicate all that knows my love...
or i would like to have had as my own.
A little place in which i may reign as king of my subjects and the uninitiated might bow before me.

With these terrible thoughts: I cause my trembling hand to become still,  like the pond.

And hold the heft of the knurling with... a flair that only the one finger might move;
and cause all of these raging thoughts to become joined as one;
and then in the way only a nihilist might glorify;
become

Author notes

Please only include negitive feedback.
Written October 5th, 2004

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Comments


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    January 21, 2005
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    Fascinating take on the ( awareness ) of being aware.. The mind is a truly odd thing ..a tool, and not always a reliable one.. yet what fabrications it can create.. as the driver in this car we call self..

    The end line... is classic

    and then in the way only a nihilist might glorify;
    become



    ~~Lisa


  • ziniicecream
    October 11, 2004
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    My favorite lines are:
    A little place in which i may reign as king of my subjects and the uninitiated might bow before me.

    I also like the imagery of the pond/trembling hand. What is heft of the knurling? I will look it up myself when I get the chance also. To be honest with you, I can't offer much of critique here in terms of the negative. I liked this piece a lot. I thought it was a beautiful, filled with emotions of confusion, understanding, revelation. I've felt this way too as described in this poem. I hope you write back. I'd love to start a dialogue with you. From my experience with poetry, I know you can always tighten lines my omitting unnecessary prepositions and words. I like the way this poem ended, but I wonder if you could add more...I feel like you still have much more to say. lexicon of the neuron is a good title for this piece...i like...rarely do people use lexicon in place of word box/vocabulary. Neuron too is interesting. A very scientific term. Just curious..what inspired this piece?

  • Xooxer
    October 10, 2004
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    The title caught my eye, but I don't understand the poem at all. What's a knurl? I like the ending, the way you left out the nothing. You seem to have a habit of not capitalizing your lines. If nothing else, the first one should should be, I think.

    I'm not sure why you would only want negative feedback, a little praise every now and again isn't bad. Besides, I prefer to be constructively critical, not negative.