its dark
i can't make out the faint writings on the wall
i can tell that they are blood red
and dripping down and out of sight
and wonder where i am, how i got here,
and why i can't move
there are voices, everywhere
but no one to be seen
the voices grow louder
until a door slams
all of a sudden the voices stop
bright lights shine down on me
as i lay on the table
ready for what comes next
hope hoping only to live
this would be a terrible death
the doctor is ready to operate
with the scalpel at my face
he starts to open my brain
the bell rings
i wake up gather my things
and find my friend laughing
he played connect the dots
with the freckles on my face
just another day in math
Author notes
Thanx for reading my stuff!
Written October 5th, 2004
A contest entry
- Scare us with a twist... (New Member Contest- October) by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended November 2, 2004, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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really great
(lmfao) This was totally awesome. You made this poem flow and have a great twist at the end. Good luck in the contest! I hope you win!
Hell Angel
Edited on Oct 30, 8:08 because 'lmnop'. -
I loved this mostly because I could relate to the just another day in math line. The things kids do to pass the time
this was an enjoyable read. thanks for entering and good luck!
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This one had me giggling. Sounds like something that I and my friends would have done. Mischeivious lil brats we were. Thanks for entering and good luck.
~Willow~ -
i like the end of this one.math!OMG!i hate math!i always fall asleep in the class..lol.great imagery in this one!rock on!
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LOL -- I loved this! Very creative!
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LOL
Too cute reminds me of my childhood
TY for entering and good luck in the contest
Susan~~~ -
being a freckled youth myself, i loved this! Great ending, really cute!
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I feel your pain - I hated math in my last two years at school. Spent most of it harrassing the teacher and larking about. Loved the freckles line! Please don't be offended by my giggles
good luck and thanks for entering
Hayley x x -
I enjoyed it a lot. Well done.
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rofl - freckles!! Oh I do like this, being a kid with freckles myself some years ago oh how I can relate.
Most unexpected finish with a flourish (?pun) Nicely written and most enjoyable.
Welcome to AP, good luck and thank you
~Von~ -
Yes ...
... A very unexpected and highly amusing ending. You have a great sense of humour. The entire poem was absorbing and holds the reader until the end.
Thank you for brightening up my night.
Take care
Sammy -
It's so cute and it just makes you think it's something so very morbid... but it's a really cute twist!
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thanx for the comments
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This is something I would have done to one of my friends if they fell asleep in class. I really liked the twist on this one. It was very clever. Nicely done. You gave me a good chuckle.
~ John
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LOL...nice twist....in the second to last line did you intentionally repeat "on my face" it read odd to me..but if that is what you intended cool...just thought I'd ask...keep up the writing
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5 old applause
