I can stand up straight
Hold my head high
Look you dead in the eyes
Emotionless as I take you in
No more feelings of shame
And fuck self blame
I’m better than this
I deserve so much more
At least someone who’s mature
That’s not you; we both know the truth
You have yet to grow into a man
Let’s face it, there’s no way I can
Let a little boy bring me down?
Seriously, I can’t let that be
Let you be the end of me
Don’t drop your head down
Don’t beg and plea
Don’t tell me I’m what you need
Your time now up
I’ve already moved on
The best thing you’ve ever had is gone
Author notes
Candice, As per your request
Written October 5th, 2004
A contest entry
- Group Contest MSAPB by AVoiceWithin.
400 points, ended November 11, 2004, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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wow! god its great I can just see someone like sayin this too a guy n watching his face just go like all horridly sad looking.. but yah awesome write!
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Ah This is awesome! You fuckin tell him
Great write
Jenn
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In a way the beat of this poem, not its lyrical style reminds me of an Ani Difranco song, because it has the folk music aura to it when you read aloud or aloud in your head.
That being what I felt from this, it only worked to improve the peace because it not only makes this a viable piece of poetry, but when read it your head as well by singing it to yourself it takes the shape of a pretty good song as well and that is not something everyone can achieve, making a poem that is also workable to music. Excellent job here, with a versatile way of speaking and a tone that makes this piece just perfect with the right background music.
much love,
James 
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Bravo!
If a man deceives me once, shame on him; if he deceives me twice, shame on me.
Another powerful write that speaks volumes about the writer.
Lovely flow and a good strong subject make this a remarkable poem.
Good stuff. Blessings ~ crisstiena
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wow that is a great poem it sounds like it can from the heart
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When one door closes another one opens
When you can finally stand up straight and hold your head up high, then life has new meaning. Your have conquered your demons (so to speak). You've emptied out your closet and gotten rid of the unnecessary baggage. Who needs a little boy when you can have a man by your side. Some people just don't realize what they had until it's gone and when it's gone, there's no turning back. Strong poem Dee, I loved the title, it has depth and so does the poem. Thanks for sharing Avril
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Good.
Nice write. The rhymes work pretty well and thats always the toughest part of using them. I think you could improve the flow by maybe going through and picking out some of the unneeded words. I am a firm believe of less being more, but thats just my opinion.
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1 - 7 of 7
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