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independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=4530&ArtistID=9993
It was early yesterday
When I woke up quick, and dressed all-slick
I sent myself home to gather all the pieces of
A torn to shreds love like a spitted dove
On the culdesac of doubt with my leather rabbit fur gloves
Warm enough to laugh
Even though I’m at the gallows naked 'cept the gloves
And push just turned to shove.
So, please don’t you leave me
I said so, please don’t you leave me, cuz I see
I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t move
I couldn’t win, I couldn’t lose
I couldn’t wait to find you there
Running my fingers through your hair.
Now everybody’s gone, but I’m still there
Swinging in the breeze, my body's bare
Like a giant wind chime that makes no noise
I’m keeping the vultures nicely poised
I sacrificed my life to prove to you
That I would rather not live, than live with you
I tried to use words, but you wouldn’t listen
I guess a loving heart is what you’ve been missing
So, please don’t you leave me
I said so, please don’t you leave me, cuz I see
I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t move
I couldn’t win, I couldn’t lose
I couldn’t wait to find you there
Running my fingers through your hair.
independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=4530&ArtistID=9993
Author notes
A song off my fourth album, soon to be released.
independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID4530&ArtistID9993
Written October 1st, 2004
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1 - 16 of 16
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as i listened to the music, it brought to mind an old leonard cohen track...your music, not the lyrics..the music of cohen is my all time favorite. so i enjoyed the rythm you matched this up with. thanks for posting the link, i would buy iy, type of sound i love while driving at night.
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Ah, typos, typos, typos, thanks. fixed them.
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Did you really mean this?
"Like I giant wind chime that makes no noise"
Or possibly; "Like [a] giant wind chime..." Or "Like [I'm a] giant wind chime..."
It stumped the flow for me for a second.
"I sacrificed my life to proof to you" How about this one?
"as proof to you" or "to prove to you"?
I like this Jeremy but it's really not one of your best. I tried to open the link but my firewall kept blocking a pop up that wouldn't let me in. I'll try to hear the song later.
I hope all has been well with you, and your family. I also know lyrics don't have the same literary "must" rules as poetry so, disregard this comment if this is how you want the lines worded.
Much Love,
Renee
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Click the link, and take a free listen.
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excellent
not impressed by muc but was truly impressed with this great writing -
This was really really good.. I really liked it..
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Good Write!!
Hey, Great write horus. I can say that I liked it alot. I wish u luck on ur album. Laterz!!!
Alesha
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This is some good stuff horus....Words may not explain this piece. -H.trueblues
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Hmmm, you say "rather not live than live with you", yet at the same time, the last lines suggest you yearn for that love. So I'm not sure if that was just a typo, or if you're being really creative with contradictions (which would be cool, lol).
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Wonderful, tis all I can say for such a great piece. Good Luck, with your albums, your lyrics show great potential.
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Thanks, I'll keep that in mind
www.cdbaby.com/all/horus8
www.gangbox.com
I don't make music to break into anything, but
my own insecurities and dreams. -
Looks Like this could be a song? Although it could use another verse if it is a song! If not it has a great possibility for a song! LOL guess if I read the Catagory I would have seen it says LYRICS! UMMMMM DUH DUH DUH I feel dumb now LOL! Great piece! and Good Luck in your song writing! I dont know if you have sent these out or started recording them yourself but Hill TOP Records is the one of the best places I have found to have songs produced! I have one entitled Voices here on AP that they are producing for me right now! Good Luck breaking into the music industry it is not easy!
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Wow.. cool.. good one.. I hope Beth's song is on it..??
I still need to hear the music to that one.. damn.. damn.. must catch up with at a decent hour.. to talk
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Good luck with making an album and stuff...wow I'm in a deep intellectual mood LOL Loved the poem. I didn't know you had it in you to write something....(bum bum bum) SERIOUS!
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