Fight
Sept 28, 1997
"May I come in for a bit?"
He smelled of alcohol...
"I don't think so....I need to work in the morning"
Angry look...
"Then may I at least have a glass of water?"
Hesitant
"Wait right here".....door closed, but not locked
Why didn't I lock it?
I should have locked it
I should have been able to trust a friend....
No need to lock it
Right?
~
Chased me through my houses hall
Smashed my head against the wall
Knocked out my senses and my sight
Still I fight...I fight
Punched me in my stomach hard
On the floor, ripped clothes discard
Beat and raped me half the night
Still I fight...I fight
Choked my breaths, and smothered me
Banged my head till I could not see
He bruised my skin, left marks from bite
Still I fight....I fight
Held captive for near six hours in fear
Beat and raped, but I shed no tears
Let him kill me now, if he feels it is right
But still will I fight....I will fight
~
Dec 7, 1997
"All the tests are still negative except one"
"You are pregnant. If you need a counselor ...."
Shocked. Scared. Dead inside. Numb.
I was not on birth control.
Why wasn't I on birth control?
No need for it since I was divorced; single
Not dating and it gave me headaches
No need for it....
Right?
~
Now questions running through my mind
Where are the answers, none to find
Keep a reminder of that terrible night?
Still I fight....I fight
I ask myself should I play God--or not?
I lost the battle last time I fought
Now a baby's in me, is abortion right?
Still I fight....I fight
To the clinic I go to have it all done
Am I killing a daughter, or maybe a son?
I cry and I cry till at last I see the light
For us I will fight.....I fight
I go through such hell while pregnant you see
Lost friends, and my family wouldn't talk to me
Seems no one on Earth could feel for my plight
But still I fight....I fight
~
May 18, 1998
"Are you here all alone Hun?"
Empathetic look..
"Yes...I have no one"
No one...
Six hours pass. Screaming, crying, pain
At last... a small curly haired boy
Looks at me fiercely...in dignified
I have someone.....WE survived
We fought.....yes....we fought
~
The nightmares haunt me still
And I fear they always will
I wake up in the night crying
Look at my son with tears drying
See the angelicness on his face
Know that my life has been graced
Two victims that night were we
Yet we won our battle, and I see
He was given to save me, from ME
From the harm I would do if not for he
My baby saved me the night I died
Saved me from committing suicide
Caused by endless hurt and pain
In fighting I lived, my son is the gain
People say me keeping him wasn't right
But he and I fight....we fight
Author notes
this is indeed true.My son is now six years old.He is my only son and such a light in my life.The anniversary of this event was a mere two days ago.I am still having the nightmares.A dear friend spurred me to write about it....as he did for me.I decided to write about my son....my angel.The events of that night will always haunt me.My son will not.
For Anthony...my bug
commented on "My Old Friend", by sewasham
Written September 30th, 2004
In a list
- for my wee ones • next in list
- Trophy Winners and Honorable Mentions • next in list
- My Faves... • next in list
- Aphrodite Tokens • next in list
A contest entry
- Impressions of Gold by Dragonsblood.
300 points, ended March 3, 2006, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rape & Molestation -How Easy It Is To Ruin A Life- by Dead Star--x.
600 points, ended August 3, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options. (for lack of a better title) by Puking Faerie Dust.
900 points, ended December 29, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Searching For New Favourites ♥ by Immortal Obscurity.
1750 points, ended April 9, 2008, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRWRITE CONTEST FOR ALL by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended August 2, 1023 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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i cried
i cried while reading this cuz it happended to me i was 12 im not 13 and i have a 4 month old son named Caden Anthony and hes my whole life i could not see myself with out Caden i would never give him up or give up on him for me and him fight the world and im proud to be him teenage mom i would have it no other way -
im reading this after looking at your contest. i have no words left to describe the feelings this poem has stirred up inside of me. i cried and felt my pain all over again while reading of yours. when i wrote a poem of being a victim myself i could not find the words, i wrote numbly with no emotion, entirely opposite to you. the words on this page show you have an amazing strength. i hope by some chance the monster who did this to you stummbles upon this page and hears of how he is weak and you have survived and become stronger than ever before.
best of luck with the competition, i wont enter but i will come back to see how it goes.
best of luck to you as well.
~haunted~
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I dont know what to say.i cried while reading this,as im sure you cried while writing it.i am sorry my friend that this terrible thing happened to you. i cant say i understand it,as ive been lucky enough to have never gone through it.but my heart goes out to you and i send the biggest bear hug.i am glad you kept your son,and that he saved you.it helps keep the belief that everything that happens has something good come out of it, i read this after seeing your contest idea,and although iv never been abused,i witnessed my brothers abuse ,so i just might enter,if i can write it. im glad you fought and this piece is the most moving and emotional poem iv ever read.thank you for sharing this with us,it couldnt have been easy,and good luck with your contest.
im back,and here if you ever want to talk.
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you're lucky that your son proved to be your angel. your strength in keeping him is an inspiration, and I applaud you for it. I was not so lucky, my story is very different, but I ened up losing the little boy that could've saved me years before I saved myself. I'm so glad you wrote about it all. Not only to you have my sympathy for the brutality, you have my respect for being a strong woman, strong enough to love your son against all odds. well written too.
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I HARDLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU, IT IS ALMOST INTRUSION TO COMMENT ON SUCH A VERY BEAUTIFUL AND PERSONAL WRITE YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME DEEPLY YOURS IS A BRAVE STORY YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING I AM SO GLAD YOUR LITTLE SON BRINGS YOU THE LOVE AND JOY YOU DESERVE AS LONG AS I LIVE I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS POEM TRHANKYOU FOR SHARING I WISH YOU AND YOUR LITTLE ONE A LIFETIME OF LOVE AND JOY LITTLEFISHONE
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Inspiration, love, strength and courage......drip from the feeling of your poem. Hug your little boy and know you are alive for him, for you and to show how strong you are. not everyone, can say that. Beautifully shared.
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this is heartbreaking ; there's no other word for it. You are an inspiratino to all of us int hat you are still here, and standing tall, and raising your son to be the best he can be, and there is no way of describing how utterly low, the filth, that the man who took you was ....
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... "I fight" .... "We fight"....
I dont know what to say that I havent already said... I saw this link and followed it... remembering this pain.. I understand...
I hold you in high regard beautiful. You show that you have strength no many have. Your choice to keep him... gave him life.. and he... saved yours...
I love and miss you beautiful and I hope that this pain is healing a little more with each anniversary.
with love,
Criss -
OMG wow!! I'm crying right now.. I was a victim but i didn't have a child by the abuser but when i did have a child he kept me from going insane kept me from dying inside comepletly!
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You hear all these different stories about rape, abuse, molestation, incest, etc. but they're all the same; its a life that was changed forever.
I still have nightmares too.
You were very strong to have written this and to go on as long as you have. Some people let that experience control their lives but you managed to trudge on through every worldy doubt.
When I was dating my boyfriend I was pregnant too. After he raped me for the third time I finally had the gumption to leave him but went back after about three months to tell him I was having his child. He flew into a cussing, screaming rage and beat me with a baseball bat until I lost my little baby. I was fourteen.
Raise your son well. One day tell him about his father so he can see first hand what horrible actions can do.
What did happen to the bastard who did this if I may ask?
Lovely write dear. Stay strong
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What a demeaning experience. To be honest before this contest I never read about rape. Just experienced incestuous rape first hand through my fiancees eyes.
I could never imagine. I hope he was caught and hung.
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This reall touches my heart, athlo it's very different to how i was raped.... maybe we can share our experiances by message?
' "May I come in for a bit?"
He smelled of alcohol...
"I don't think so....I need to work in the morning"
Angry look...
"Then may I at least have a glass of water?"
Hesitant
"Wait right here".....door closed, but not locked
Why didn't I lock it?
I should have locked it
I should have been able to trust a friend....
No need to lock it
Right?'
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This is such a sad story, one, which I am sure, so many women can relate to.
Such a horrendous thing for any woman to go through, and yet you have survived it despite all the odds. You fought and have won not only for yourself but for your beautiful son too.
I applaud you for your courage and strength and for finding the ability to write this magnificently.
AnnD
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You are truly such an inspiration!!!! I am in awe of your beauty!!! How many woman could have stood in your shoes and walked tall the way you did?? I can tell you honestly, NOT MANY!!! I think that it took so much courage and faith to make the choice to keep your baby that people just can not fathom it. I am so honored to have been allowed a glimpse into your soul that I am humbled. You are a shining star in this dark world and I hope for all the best for you and your son!! I say continue to fight for acceptance for the both of you, and if they chose not to than it's their loss!!!
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this gave me goose bumps and made my tears well up, and i'm not one to cry so easily. very good write;; well written, emotional... fuckin fantastic. you keep on fighting, you'll always make it through with that little one beside you. i'm sorry you went through something so terrible, but as you realized in the end, everything happens for a reason -- and the reason was him, Anthony. have a wonderful rest of your life, both of you!!
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Excellent
Wow this is heartwrenching and a very emotional write from all angles really. I'm so sorry of what happened to you, but I'm happy you got such a beautiful angel boy out of the abuse. You both did win. May God poor his blessings down on the both of you!!! Thank you for sharing your gift to write poetry with me.
Many Blessings
Kelle Marie
stavykm
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That's a very dramatic story you're to be congratulated for reaching beyond the pain and finding that good is ever present yet only when we see. Many cannot. Happy trails
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I agree with Lonely Tear... I'm glad you fought, for both yourself and your son, and I'm sure he'll be grateful too. You've been through some tough stuff, and it's clear in this piece that, though you've been abused, you don't see yourself as a victim, but as a survivor. And guess what, you're that much stronger because of it. My hat is off to you, my friend... Good luck, and thank you for sharing!
Laura xxx
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wow... so powerful.
i'm so glad that u fought your way through.
writing about such a terrible event proves how strong a woman you are. you're an inspiration for all women... -
I am so glad you fought. For yourself, for the innocent life. So touching and hopefully a help to someone going through a similar situation. of course it brought tears to my eyes and my heart. You are amazing, thanx, conni
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I think this is a wonderful peace. I was captivated from the begining. It is such a powerful peace and you are a stronger person for it. I really enjoyed it. struck a cord with my heart.
Maryha
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such a powerful, incredicle write, to have gone through something so terrible and have come out the other end still with the will to fight, an amazing you person you are.
lucy
xxxxxx
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What can I say that everyone else has not said before me? This is an amazing write as a poem/story and it holds you tight from the first word to the last. The fact that it is true makes it even more amazing. On a personal level, I can only agree the words of everyone here and rather than say similar things again I will just wish you and your son good health,happiness and peace to get on and live your lives. It has been a great privilege to read this here and I thank you for that and I am certain that your words will also help others, who are struggling with their problems, take heart and fight too. Sheila
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Wow...this is an incredible poem...an incredible story. I am saddened that you went through this...but SO glad that you decided to fight! For yourself and your son!
I love how you keep that them of fighting throughtout...and then end with:
"I have someone.....WE survived
We fought.....yes....we fought"
Well done!
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Very Deserving Of the gold.....
and many more besides!!! You truly are a fighter with plenty of fight left in her.And for those who condemn you for giving birth to this precious boy, well they are just ignorant!!! You chose to give the gift of life under circumstances that anyone would have easily justified abortion. You have my utmost respect and sympathy for what you went through but respect for the way you chose to not be a victim. I know God brought you through this an your son will be used in big ways for him and grow up to be someone special in spite of the way he was conceived. Again you have my utmost respect!!!~~Toni~~
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the prize fight
Your words share a story, a tramatic event
a collection of wrongs, of evilest intent
booze fueled desires, a fought and lost fight
a seed had bin sown, debate what feels right
direction you opted, hard choices you made
steered by commitment, a life had bin stayed
the love of a child, the pain of the crime
exist side by side, a black and white ryhme
rudolf
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Beautiful
it made me cry, you are an inspiration to many.
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Oh my dear one...I have known from the first lines I ever read of your work that you are an amazing and deep ocean.....this has brought tears to my eyes and an ache to my heart that anyone should ever go through an experience like this but you fought, my friend and you are here to share and express yourself and touch other's like me who remain awe struck by you and your talent and your courage and your beauty! I am so touched by you and your story and your ability to fight and rise above and in doing so to be the receiver of such an amazing gift as this little boy who is so fortunate to call you his MOM because you both fought and you won! YOU WON! I've decided my tears are not tears for what was done but tears because you fought and you won and that is truly a deep impression of the true color of your ocean!
I am hugging you and your little man in my heart!
Marie
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..... my beautiful friend...
I understand your plight... I am sad for the experience you went through, but am thankful for the life you decided to keep. He was a victim of the same act you were... I hold you in high regard my friend...
... Criss -
wow
that made me cry. you have amazing courage to write this. i know what it is like to be raped i have also become pregnant from this, two abortions and one beautiful daughter who i would not change for the world. i hope the nightmares do eventually go or at least lessen. great write, tc
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Very Excellent
I know what it's like to be raped and beat till my life almost seeks to exist, and I fought back too. I think you said it well in this poem how it's feel to have fought and remained a survior. I was crying w/ your words and overjoyed to know that your son was a fighter to for you. Thank you for sharing this w/ us all. I want you to know that I think how you have treated your life and that of your son's, take a lot of courage, strength and most of all a lot love for yourself and him. He is a cutie and a busy one I see from the picture of him. You done a fine job of making him happy and loved. Bless You
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That extremely touched my heart and all my friends....i truly know in my heart you will be blessed...we had a debate in my class over abortion....rather if it was right or not if you were raped...and i feel that you have proved to every young girl that you can still make it and that baby can be the biggest blessing in your life...you have inspired me....
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T-red,
I am glad I inspired you. This was the right choice for me, and may not be right for everyone. My son means the world to me and my family, however I had severe PTSD due to the events, and for some time it effected every aspect of my life, including my feelings toward him. I do believe however that adoption is also a wonderful option. Something good should indeed come from something like this, and a deserving family having a beautiful child is that. I would never condemn someone else for their choices, but this was what my heart made me feel and see. I am also pleased your teacher allowed this write to be discussed in class. I feel honored, and proud it could make an educational effect in some way. Thank you for this message. Education means much to me, and so does awareness to young girls, teens, and women. You have blessed me this day with such a wonderful message. I am glad it had an impact.
Love and light from me and "bug"
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I hope that he is damned forever for the crime committed against you. You must be a very strong person to come through this and feel love for the innocent child that resulted from that night of horror. I know that he must give you reason to get up and face each day with the love coming from his sweet heart for you.
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Cold. For some reason I hate it even more when it's so beautifully worded. I feel nausea right now because of the first part of the poem, but I'm glad you are looking at your son as a light in your life.
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this brought tears to my eyes for many reasons. I am sorry that you endured such a horrible crime against you.. You have found strength and hope through your child. I am glad that he is the gem in your life.. I am glad that you fought.. you are a very strong woman to do that..
kat
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this made me cry so much the pan in this and the strength in your words. just wow im so sorry but I am glad your child is the gem to your life now
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I am sad that this had happened to you
but pleased you oculd write about it
and yes, your child is the best gem out there
your love for him
and his for you
shows all of us that love stills stands.
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i am glad you wrote about it
and i am glad you have your baby
you love him and he loves you
blees you are my prayers
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I can tell that you are strong and open minded. You have such an acute awareness to have thought of you AND your son as victims...I've never thought of that, of it that way, but that is extremely accurate and you are brilliant and special for recognizing it and standing by what you love and believe in, despite the circumstances and how difficult it must have been. I greatly admire your strength and courage and that you saw him as a gift and a healing. I'm so happy you chose life, for both of you. Thank you for sharing your story, you are so very admirable and those who left you because you loved your child, in my opinion, were ignorant and closed minded and could not have truly cared about you if they couldn't overcome their fears of things they couldn't understand, they should have supported and loved you no matter what. That was the time you probably needed it most in your life. They should have tried to understand and acknowledged your amazing strength, considering.
Love is not conditional.
Well, it's hard not to ramble on when you read something as powerful and touching as this. I wish you and your beautiful son all the happiness in the world, you deserve it!
Thank you again ♥
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A truly inspirational piece, showing all there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. It is sometimes easier to give in to despair and go the other way, well done for being strong enough to come out the other end. I hope you both continue to shine. Good luck to you both
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From the line:
"He was given to save me, from ME ..." all the way to the end was exceptionally hard hitting and I cannot commend you enough for it!!!
lol - I see you call him your 'bug' - how very precious!!!!
Your son will pull you through many, MANY things to come - HE will be your backbone; HE will be your survival instinct; HE is your world!
Truly an exceptional piece that shows the strength of a mother's love - WELL DONE!
p.s. - He definitely looks like a mischievious little bug
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Blessings and Strength is your voice!
What an honor it was to read this powerful poem.
What a fearless and genuine "woman" you truly are.
I am so proud to be of the same gender as you!
I am awed by your write, and beauty of soul!
Thankyou for the fearless courage and strength it took
to write this feast of life to be honored and enjoyed!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) most humble bow to you dear
poetess-you honor us with this
write!
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I can not even find words to say that come anywhere near the depth and sorrow it all brings to me in your words...yet in the end you found light...and what a beautiful untouchable light he is...you are so brave and an amazing person.
I would like to commend you and let you know that your courage is something those around you could not find...you made a hard choice and everyone should have seen that and stood by you...
You are a shining soul with so much love and heart, you are never alone...for God (by any name) stands by you still and your son is a precious gift.
May you both live in love and peace.
The write is wonderfully done and tell so much...it's depth is unbelievable and had to be hard to write...yet may you find peace in doing so and show others not all choices are set in stone...Wonderfully cone!
Blessings to you and him...
mystic
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I do not see myself as courageous, just as a survivor. I thank you my friend for such a tender, and heartfelt comment. Indeed my son is a blessing to me, and no matter how he got here he will always be a blessing. Hugs
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Wow, what an amazing story. I'm so happy that you and your son are doing great now, though you had to go through tribulations before. I definitely admire your strength.
As for the poem, it was very well written and it held my attention throughout the entire thing. The flow was smooth, and the rhyme scheme was pleasant (and that's surprising for me). A truely inspiring story.
Thank you for entering, good luck
Jeanette*~ -
Are there enough words
in all the languages of this world to express the thoughts and feelings this pulls from me? Not even close, not even close. After a few minutes to collect myself and process all of this I have much to say to much to punt in such a small space. So I will be brief.
Your strength and courage is astounding and anyone who fails to see that is unfeeling and blind. The fact that you made a choice that caused problems for the rest of your family because of your own convictions and heart shows the humanity you posses that others can only envy.
You are a beautiful soul and all of us who know you and love you are blessed to have you in our lives. Your son is beautiful and looking at him can only confirm you made the right chioce for yourself.
Be well and be well blessed as I know you are.
Yours,
April
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April,
May I say that I am sincerely humbled by this beautiful comment? I only did what my heart said was right, and seeing my son daily I know it was. Your words touched me, and I feel great having friends like you on here. The blessings were purely mine.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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Incredible, Wonderful
Enough to make me cry....you ARE an exceptional and a wonderful person--I have a suspicion that we may have little in common beyond poetry--but that does not change the fact that you are EXCEPTIONAL, and that I admire you extremely! This poem moved me profoundly...BRAVO...BRAVO...BRAVO..
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Now I am humbled, and thank you for reading and leaving such a wonderful comment. I do not really know what else to say. My gratitude is yours.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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im trying to find the right thing to say but i really dont know what to say to you-its quite the story and i love the outlook youve given it, its sadnening but you add the Fight part into it and it makes you seem so strong yet so broken all in one
thanx for sharing & good luck
CureMyTragedy -
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First let me thank you for a very kind and heartfelt comment. This was penned over three years ago, to help me with recurring nightmares, and the PTSD I still suffer from that nights events. My son is now 9 years old. A lot with that event is now happening, mainly the man who did this is up for probation, and filing several appeals still.
This write helped me a lot. It has several bad memories, and several good ones attached to it. The main thing however is that it was indeed a stepping stone in my healing, and accepting process. It allowed me to purge some of the poison that still lingers. I rarely look at it, and it is odd that your contest has come up now.
I took my son school shopping today, and watched him closely as I tend to do. He has such a charming smile. From tragedy came something...no, someone, to help me through that scarring night. I chose the storyboard form to tell this tale better. The loose rhyme as well. It is still exactly as I penned it years ago, and will never change.
I hope your contest gives you some healing through other's writes. I know they help me from time to time. Love and light your way.
Blessings be,
Billie Jean
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Thank you for the wonderful comment. Indeed my son and I appreciate all gaurdian angels, you inclusive. Our path has been long and uneasy, but we walk it hand in hand. A long time has passed since this horrible event and I am beyond it. I see what good came of the bad every time I look at him. Thank you again for the wonderful words. I am also glad you liked the bg. I wanted to convey the good this brought, not the bad.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
well done. I feel this write has much emtion and passion into it that was thrown out during a heartache that has lasted not days or months - but years. I see your holiness of this child that you bore and the pain you went through though I cannot feel it in me I still was able to watch you and your life like a guardian angel in the sky. Wonderful background to a touching story that, for me, was written with wonderful flowing words and hints of rhyme. No assumed pattern so that you would look at the words, no- feel the words. Instead of following a pattern through a chaotic schene that was written just like it was felt. Congrats on a piece of writing that is book worthy. I am sure many writers will see this contest and will look for pieces that are poet publishing worthiness.
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Dresden,
Thank you for the wonderful comment. I have always believed that life teaches us many lessons if we open our minds, eyes, and hearts and learn. This was a lesson for me on love, hate, and coping. I am glad you enjoyed this write. I often use repition in my writes when it is a certain idea I want to nail home. The "Fight" in this was very important as it was where that lesson lied.
I never promote my own writes in comment, but one directly related to this is also on here. No comment needed, just thought you may also enjoy it as well.
allpoetry.com/contest_remove/1519635
Thank you again for such wonderfully kind words.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
soo emotional
This is amazing.
All through reading this I had shivers running through me, because it so closely resembles the story of one of my friends. And the repetition of the line "I will fight" is so poignant and so wonderful...there are too many people who simply give up and give in, and throw away the most precious gift they could be given.
Every line was like a jab in the heart to read (though a good jab!) and that truly shows how great of a job you did. I wish I could fully express what I feel, but I just am so blown away that I can't!
You are very lucky to have a beautiful child, and not only that, but to appreciate and realize what a blessing he is. Beautiful, beautiful work, and thank you so much for entering this. I'm very glad I had the chance to read it.
~dresden-moon -
Hun,
I am glad you enjoyed this write and could relate to it. I am also sad you could relate to it. It was a very hard decision for me to come to especially since I am pro choice. I believe all women are the captains of their bodies, I just choose my own way. My son is my only son (I have 4 daughters as well) and a blessing to me. He steals hearts all the time and is such a character. I am happy he is in my life. Thank you for sharing with me, and for such a woinderful comment.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Thank you for such an endearing comment. Yes, I believe we both won. Thank you aggain for the kind comment.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Wow this truly made me cry. I do not ever believe in abortion and you were so so strong for your decisions. The way you explained your choice to keep him captured my feelings so deeply. My mother was raped and she did not have an abortion and she feels the same way you do. I guess my mother had a black friend around about the same time she was raped by a different man and I have went my whole life until this year knowing that he was my father. I guess we didn't know enough becuase turns out he is not; I guess it is always good to find out you weren't conceived through such a horrid way, but anyway we went through the same battles that you have had to survive and I cry for you both from sadness and for happiness that you see the blessing in your life. Many people do bot understand why I do not agree with abortion when a woman is raped and you may not either(even though you made your choice), but this kind of thing is exactly why. I just believe it is murder and its like you can't just go shoot someone in the face and tell the judge that it is justified because that person was a reminder of something terrible in your life. But anyway I loved this piece very very much. This is definetly one of my favorites ever. I wish you the best of luck and congratulations on the silver trophy.
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You have survived and have won - with the help of your son. Wonderful write - thanks for sharing it with us. A lovely boy - such a smile! Congratulations on the silver trophy for this write.
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Thank you for the kind words. I believe I did make the right choice every time I look at my son. Thank you again.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
wow. this was a very strong poem. a very moving poem. it brought tears to my eyes. and i believe you made the right choice and i know you feel so too. i dont think ppl should play god. or kill a child. and you learned and understood that good for you. anyways, this is about your poem. very strong and very moving. great job.
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Thank you so much Dawn. When I had to make my choice the thought crossed my mind that my son was meant to be here, and he may do great things someday, but only if allowed to live. He is seven now and a total joy to me and my family. I am happy your husband is here to, if for no other reason than to be a joy to you. Thanks for the great comment.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Excellent
WOW, you SO deserved to win the GOLD! Congratulations! This is such a wonderful write, great description of what could have remained a permanent scar. This hits home, since my own husband is the product of rape. In his Mother's day, there was no choice, although she wouldn't have chose to abort him anyway. He is a wonderful gentle man, I thank God every day for him. He contributes so much to so many lives, thank God for loving Mother's like yourself! -
OH This is totally amazing. I cannot believe just how good this is.
Hugs
Jan -
The monster is in prison, and sadly as part of legal proceedings knew of the pregnancy, but was told to release all parental rights, and is ordered to never attempt contact. I have moved from where I lived before so feel relatively safe.
The hard part is yet to come. Deciding what to tell my son.
Thanks for the wonderful comment. For now, we are just happy and he is a normal seven year old boy.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
excellent job on this one
This is an awesome write. You are right. It's a strange world we live in. I hope the monster doesn't know the baby resulted from that night. -
Sorry for the unwanted memories, greatful for the kind comment.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Thank you so much. I appreciate the comment.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
agrees, very emotional poem, brought back unwanted memories, excellent piece tho, congratulations on your win
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Congratulations on the gold trophy. A truly emotional well written poem. Keep writing!
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Thank you so much for this kind comment. Indeed it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. My son the only blessing from it. I feel that sometimes we do not see the good in the bad. I had people dear to me to show me what that good was. Thanks again so much. I have another write somewhat related to this one if you are interested I will IM you a link.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Aw wow, this poem made tears well up in my eyes. I'm sorry you had to endure all of that pain but now I'm just glad that in the end your happy with your son . This poem really shocked me, and tore me apart, honestly I'm still dazed now and it's not often a poem does that to me so i think you deserved to win gold in this contest. Well done and again amazing poem.
~Alatariel~ -
I am sorry if this keeps you up at night, Goodness knows it still keeps me up at times, but I hope this gives some solace to your outlook on life. My son is a gift. He makes the terrible tolerable. Good came from bad. Thank you for reading and for the kind comment.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
This piece... it wrenched me.... toe me apart, and sewed me back together, This world, the people in it... the way things are, and the odd abscence of what god is supposed to be... the meaing of family that should exist.. the fact that trust, love, friendship, and all other morals are fleeting lies.... i've been fighting my entire life.. i was bron dead, and sometimes its hard not to wish i weren't resuscitated, either way.. this poem is going to lose me sleep... and for that it is admirable...
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Thank you so much for the kind comment. I do appreciate the time you took to read and comment. Yes it was a sad and horrible event in my life, but a bright spot came of it...my son. So many thanks again.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Wow, that truely is an amazing poem and story! I teared up a bit... it was so sad, yet so powerful at the same time! It's a really great poem!! Good luck with everything!
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Tiffany,
This was indeed a sad time in my life, but in the end I recieved something good from a bad experience. My son is now seven, and though he tests my patience daily, he is a blessing. Thank you for the kind comment.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
wow! this was one of themost moving pieces of poetry i have ever read! this was so sad, and to find out it was true... i FELT. this was exactly what i was looking for! im so sorry it happened to you... great write. keep it up, because it is a release for your soul...
luv always
~Tiffany -
billie jean... a year ago [less], i would have said that i don't deserve such kindness as in your reply to me, but against all odds, i began to heal... i was dumped by therapist after therapist who thought i just didn't 'try' hard enough... it was the patience, caring and hard work of the 'last' one that helped me realize that i deserve forgiveness and the many people on ap that told me that my child would not be as evil to me as i have portrayed him in so many poems... as for the reasons i had... i could never ever justify what i did with a reason or excuse... but i can begin to forgive myself for this heinous mistake.... your comment made me cry... and i thank you so much for that... when i can squeeze a tear through all the pills, it means that someone has touched a part of my soul... thank you
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Shelly,
Thank you so much for the kind words, and the encouragement. Indeed even the smallest flame can shun the darkness. The admiration is kind, but belongs to my son and my mom. Her views changed due to him, and she assisted greatly in raising him. He also is admirable in his efforts to belong and be a joy. He succeeds at both amazingly. Thank you again so much. Light always on your path.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Michele,
I cannot begin to assume what you live with daily, however I will say this. The choices we make in life can haunt us, or make us better and stronger. I myself am a pro choicer, just not what seemed right at the time for me. Whatever the reasons you had for your choice, must have held weight. Do not be so hard on yourself, do not dwell in a child lost. Think instead of joys to come. Remember the reasons you had in the first place. They are still valid today. My heart goes out to you. Smile
If ever you just wish to talk, I offer an ear.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Thank you for the great comment. Indeed he is a gift. I cherish the good of that event, and refuse to dwell in the bad. Thank you once more for such kind words.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Diana,
Thank you for this kind comment. Indeed we are both well and daily I am reassured that I made the appropriate decision. Thank you again for the kindness.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Jonesz,
Thank you first off for such a kind and encouraging comment on my poem. It was very healing for me to write it. I agree that tragedy makes for great writing, but the old adage is true.....what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. I believe this is true, my son proved it. Thank you again so much.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Beautiful writing, i can see exactly why you won this contest hands down. you truely deserve it. Keep fighting cos the world aint there to help you...remember this...the greatest darkness cannot extiguish the smallest flame of a single candle...
Keep writing you have great talent and i admire the strength you have for writing about your ordeal
May all your battles be won
Shelly -
congratulations on your win... coincidentally, i placed with a poem of quite the opposite nature... i aborted a baby that was conceived in love and my life has never been the same... i'm so haunted and crippled with shame and regret... i admire the strength in you to keep your child after what you had been through... but it only makes me feel that much more disgusting
(sorry to be a downer... i meant only to come and say congrats) xo
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Sorry to hear of your tragic ordeal but I glad that you were able to gain something good from it.Your son is like a God send
you are truely lucky,Oh and congratulations on winning the contest,you truely deserve it. -
I'm sorry about what happened to you, you must be very strong since you managed to fight this... I know I couldn't do it. As for your son, it's a great thing that you have him and love him. I hope one day you'll be alright.
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I think you've done the right thing and this poem was unreal. I usually don't like things that are this long, but I couldn't stop reading it. It was just plain amazing how you described everything with such eloquence. It's too bad that our worst moments in life make for our best poetry. Keep up the good work.
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Thank you so much for this great comment. My son is indeed an anggel. I hope that if anything, this shows people that there is joy even in deep pain. Thanks again and I am happy you enjoyed this write.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Wow... you have just done it... what I wasn't thought possible by anyone at the moment... you have made me feel. This is truly amazing... I am blown away... in fact I am struggling to find words I am that much in awe... the heartache you have been through.... the heartache you have survived... I'm not even going to try an intelligent response I am in to much awe... You're little boy is trully gorgeous by the way... a true little angel!!! Thankyou for entering this poem into my contest.
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Shari,
This was indeed a hard one to write. Took me back to memories best forgotten. But also it helped me close that wound a little more. My son, my ONLY son, is a joy every day (even on days he tests my patience), and my life would be less complete without him. He also saved my life in a way, because had I not been pregnant with him I would not have found out about my cancer till too late. Thanks again for being so sweet my wenchy sister.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Oh Darling... I am blown away. This was truly amazing. The fact that you had the strength to write this and get it out... you are so brave. Your son, your angel is beautiful. It goes to show that something good truly can come from all experiences. I honestly couldn't care less if others agree, being a survivor I know what you did was right for you and noone else has the right to judge and shouldn't believe they can. You my darling are brave, as is your little angel.
Love you Wenchy sister
Shari
xoxox -
ronnie...
Thank you. Sometimes we have to weigh what is right against what is less right, for in this there was only one wrong. Rape. My son turned 7 yesterday. That is seven years I have had with a small soul that is innocent. Seven years he has helped me become better. I am greatful for these 7 years, even if that night always will haunt me.
Thank you for this beautiful comment. I appreciate it so much.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
This is heart breaking yet you kept strong, and have a beautiful son to give you life, you are a wonderful poetes and a good mother, you chose the innocent life inside you and that takes courage, as you lost family and friends yet as you said you kept fighting for you and your son. An amazing story written amazingly.
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Nic....
I believe that all things happen for a reason. Some ask me how I can raise my son since he was concieved this way. Easy....he is MY son. I had a baby boy 14 years ago, prematurely, he died at six hours old. I am not saying this one took his place, I am saying what was lost to me was given back. This is my only son, and such a sweet child. Thank you for these words of friendship. They are gold to my soul.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
thank you so much for the great comment. I decided that for this write a storyboard format mixed with rhymed poetry would be best. Thank you again for the kind words.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Tragic but beautiful story of survival. I liked the way you changed your format with each chapter of the story... and you have a beautiful little boy
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