I suffer from a strange ‘uh – diction’,
a dimpled ‘L O cute’ affliction --
Phrases sounding so absurd
giggle me when overheard.
‘Muddle of pud’ is one of those
I love to squiggle 'twixt my toes.
And then there’re those that will not fly
without a twist – like ‘flutterbye’.
Upon my tongue, words handicapped,
would glide through life as ‘candiwrapped’.
A few fine words are shining stars
like ‘permeate’, ‘granola bars’,
‘somber’, ‘fidget’, ‘cumbersome’,
‘puritan’ ‘disease’ and ‘glum’.
‘Nomenclature’ is divine,
But ‘curvature’ could be refined
to something much more sensuous.
And what about ‘ambiguous’?
‘Confusion’ is a kicker too.
Both perplexed but yet bemused?
My tiny mindplays - mental games -
soon wander to consider names -
'Piscataway' – a glee to say
but not a place I'd want to stray.
While 'Giggleswich', one must agree –
tempts one in to tippling tea.
Alas, I solo in my quest
to twist the words to suit me best
and, though I strove to share this trait,
my vast harangues ingrate a mate.
No 'heir apparent' due, I see.
Genetics glossed - 'inherently'.
'Torrential, torments, tour de force', -
I flog the corpse of all discourse
until a sigh lent from a friend,
halters still my teamless wend.
So in disgust I’ll blow away.
I waive goodbye, impishly pray
my frigorific grave advice --
“Elucidate -- but be precise!”
Author notes
Dedicated to all those who, like me, see words as a form of Silly Putty.
Written February 1st, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Critiquers' poems by invitation of Lyndon by Lyndon.
300 points, ended March 17, 2006, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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that was so crazy, well done, good job. it sounds like you have put alot of effort into this poem.
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Grteat Scott! St Paddy's Day!!
Well ... well ... well ... I feel as though I have been swallowed and hollowed by a crocodillagator.
From " I suffer from a strange ‘uh – diction’,
a dimpled ‘L O cute’ affliction -- " to the very end you poured satire and wedged in wit upon all of those who use big, ponderous words and yet it was all one big game! As my great uncle would sing every morning: "Hallelujah on the bum!"
In my white beard I am still choking out in light baritone: Hohohoho.
Thank you for this diversion. Also, thank you for your wonderful critiquing and judging. Ron.
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what a wonderfully humourous offering you have penned here, I am a bit concerned you actually know some of the woprds you have used but am salving my mind with the fact that you must have thumbed through a dictionary for hours to find them but I will confess that when travelling about various places and countries one of the things I do is try to figure out why places are named as such for example fordingbridge one imagines was where they built a bridge at the site of a previous ford but when you come to places like lower and upper dicker, ones imagination can run wild, well done with this, Broad
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Amazing!! Brava!!
Unique, refreshing, delightfully humorous Thank you for sharing this amazing piece of humor life is art and art life and often we forget to create humor in our art Brava you have done so magnficently
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I work with kids and words never come out the way they should. I know exactly how much fun it is to twist and turn words.
I grew up with hangaburrs and chen chies, pasgetti and such yummy foods.
the teanagers love to catch me screwing up words and the little kids do not seem to notice since they do it all themselves.
I live on the west coast by the way and we have such eloquent place names as Sequim, Puyallup, Scio and Skookumchuk.
Thanks for the smile!
Susan
Edited on Mar 17, 2:29 because ''. -
"im not worty, im not worty" *grovels*
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Fantabulous!
Kyla XX -
Maatkara,
It does my heart so much good when someone picks up on one of my word twists. This one has a special spot in my heart as well.
Thank you.
Jane -
Poetically punny
Oh, how wonderfully clever and captivating!
I do so love word plays and puns. Excellent example, and great fun to read.
A "dimpled 'L O cute' affliction", hehe! that's precious.
~ G
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I NOW UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS POEM IS SAYING I HAVE GOTTEN ALL THAT I WANT U SO FAST THERE IS EULOGY THERE NICE POEM TOO I READ IT LATER
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You've molded one fine poem from all those 'silly' words. Excellent work.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
Nice poem butthis poem is a little bithard for me to understand it seems u speak french while writing this can u give a little clue to this peom
thnx for ur time onluckygirl -
claps!
Seemed like this poem needed a little more applause! Loved it, looking forward to reading more. -
piscataway .. how funny is that .. armpit of nj is what we used to ..you've made it work here amazing ... you are something ..special.
hope you are well.
lisa
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cool
way to use the big words -
this piece is nothing like anything i've ever read before... it is so unique in every aspect of this piece... it all flowed very smoothly and it all made sense... i like your stly very much and the humorous mood it had... i couldn't help but laugh sometimes... but keep up the good writes my friend and alwaise remember to stay true to yourself and to your heart, or else you'll be no more...
*LuNaR* -
i loveeeed this poem, everything about it was so original and amusing at the same time. The content was fantastic and the way its layed out is great, keep writing like this, its really really good, well done.
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Very nicely written. Indeed made me laugh in the early morning hours. This is different. The use of all the words and yet the rhyming still stuck, very well done. This piece is one of the funniest I've read in a long time. Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Kristen
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this was nice it was something different, i did think like some stanzas were stronger and more interesting than others but it was still good, i liked the word usage, keep it up,
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Oh wow!!! So beautiful!!! I can totally see from your point of veiw! I don't have speech imparement, but a cousin of mine does, and so do some of my friends. It makes me sick when people make fun of them, and even one time, i popped someone in the nose for it. Anyways, awesome poem, and I'm sure all kids like you are thankful as well. Well done!!!
~Taylor~ -
lmao...oh, it fantastic, I'm going to turn it into a song....I'm already singing it. hysterical, loved it, hoorah!
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fucking splatter the hilarity m'lady. spread it on thick...which is my favorite word when describing a penumbra bobcat.
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a+
This was very good, and it was a nice change from all of the sad, boring, work of most people. Very good!! -
Yew must have won of them thar thee-saw-russ thangs, cuz yew shewr do talk purdy! Tee hee. I like big words too. I even read the dictionary when I'm exceptionally bored. So, I was definitely entertained by this poem.
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warm applause... this was great. what a wonderful write.
elizabeth -
Fine formed lines of mental fettling, chuckles greet from your meticulous meddling, Spoonerisms so spatula spooning, with chunks of such creative crooning – I myself, like impropriety… okay – okay I’ll go quietly.
Great word weaving and humus with it!
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Oh, pooby, you make my heart go pitty pat! Here's a vote for the world to be a bit more pliant when it comes to the regimentation of communication.
(and BRAVO to you for bravely standing in front of the crowd!)
kugs and hisses,
Jane -
WORDART
This is very creative, an ARTCOMEDY..love the way the words are used to take the tongue on a verbal journey -
I love this because I am a dyslexic. Just last night while with my husband the funny tale was told, a twix and muff, a tuff a tale a hale, a quicksilver trail. From my lips I said something about Vertigo, then Hortigo, and my love, who understands well, simply said, 'Thank you sir, that is HO to go, and will you be needing a straw with that.
only those who suffer can laugh. I laughed, and yet, I know the horror, because I am a public speaker, and the horror in my mind that I will say something so backwards that it hold different meaning,....then, simply won't know I have said it. lol
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
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