in a crescent dream we part as 2
in a moonlight moment we are as 1
and we looked to the insipid sky and parted clouds
forever was in that moment
the rain was ceremonial
filled with aspersions
one could only dream of
Author notes
this was a poetic caption i placed on my anime wallpaper.
if you want to see the wallpaper, go to my author's page. that's the image of the 2 on the crescent moon. the caption would go on the left.
Written September 28th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- The "It had better be knock-my-socks-off good or I will get you" contest by g r e y i s m.
350 points, ended November 7, 2005, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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pretty good, i would suggest that the two end lines go as this, " filled with aspersions/one could only dream of " would make the flow smoother by changing " one " to the last line. good luck in the contest.
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kool
you liked me author's page? thanks! glad you like my works.
we're each other's fans!
(does that make us groupies?) -
A great job you've done here. Very beautiful and well written, you could even expand it if you wanted to, though it stands alone very well. Bravo!
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All I can say is...poetic, a spirit that you truly ahve. Oh...I really like the author's page. It has a sopisticated child-likeness I find appealing.
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Oooh.... I wanna see the picture!!!
Since I'm your little fan and everything... yes, but anyway... I like this alot especially the way it begins and ends with some reference to dreams. Very nice... I'm impressed as usual!
---Kelso---
P.S.-- Thanks for the advice on my contest poem... I fixed the beginning a little and I think it's somewhat better. Stay cool. Now I'm gonna go check out that picture.
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