The lonely ones, they cry out loud,
when all around is still;
The haunting melody plays on,
long after all have gone;
So, as I sit here all alone,
with no one close at hand;
Telling myself, that nothings wrong,
that no one understands;
I'm, trying hard to make sense, of that
foolish pride inside.
Leaving, me cold and lonely all the time,
so much pride, so much pain;
So, that I'll never feel again ;Left
alone and withdrawn, forever;
There, he sits and watches me,
as I watch him, seeing me; From
the shadows that dance, all around us;
Will I take a risk and chance, maybe
just one little dance, can it hurt to risk it ?
He holds me in a gentle grip, as we move
we will not slip, feeling safe for the time
of this moment ; Never, letting him get near,
holding back with all my fears; Music, stops
and we move back, from each other.
leaving, me cold and lonely all the time;
So much pride, so much pain;
so that I'll never feel, again; left
alone and withdrawn forever..........
Author notes
Don't ask.....just floated into my head
Written September 27th, 2004
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You're welcome
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Thank you Kat Glad you liked it
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Beautiful I like the form you put this in.. It's a great write and I think it would be beautiful with music to it.. It has great meaning. Good job
~Kat -
Thank you
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great !
that was a really touching poems .......its great keep it up.....! -
Thank you I would love to
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Thank you Jaylynn , I am glad you enjoyed it
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wonderful
That's a beautifully written poem! You can feel the sadness and loneliness radiating. If you ever have a moment, please read my short story "the change". It has the same kind of theme too it, expressed in a very similar way. -
Incredible
I really enjoyed this, thank you for sharing! It's beautifully written and just awesome. I wish I had more applause left...but it's the thought that counts!
You are a great poet. Keep it up.
Much love-Jaylynn -
Thank you for your lovely words, they are greatly appreciated
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Yes thats just about hit it on the nail....clever insight
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Thank you for your comments, they are appreciated very much
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Thank you, not sure what was going on in my head when I wrote this,started as one thing and ended as another, many thanks for the comments
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as i'm reading this i'm listening to Dido and your words turned into a song in my head.
this poem speaks so loudly of loneliness, so much fear of being hurt and how many walls our hearts can hide behind.
i thought this was beautiful tho sad but also hopeful for they did share a dance.
such is human nature -
After I read it it semed that it could also be entitled "hesitation". The hesitation born of already having been burnt and not wanting to replay that. Yet it weighs that against being alone and timidly tries again, or remains in a hellish in between state where it wants to try but won't quite take the plunge.
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not sure what to make of this poem. hmmm... it is kind of random here and there. I was under the impression that the person in the poem was left out at a dance and then suddenly was asked. Had no idea what the pride had to do with it, but I see a lot of potential in this one. Keep working on it! Clarify the ideas and feelings in this poem.
Courtney -
I really have no idea what to say. I can relate to this piece. I also, like sweetdemise, got the feeling that this wasn't so much about a "dance" than it was your feelings. If I'm wrong, oh well. Nonetheless, I liked this piece. Keep it up cutiepie.
Much love,
Kristen
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Glad you enjoyed it, many thanks for the comments
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well....hmmm, i'm not sure what to say really. i can somewhat relate to pieces of that, so thats cool. i got the feeling that this isn't really about a "dance" but thats just me. either way, i enjoyed reading it
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