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searching for words

I try
to write poems about you
but
words get confused
lost in the emotions of
is this real
or
just something I want to feel real

something that I feel
is missing
from my soul
and I know
I shouldn't be thinking this
I haven't had enough time
and we have barely scraped the surface of
me and you
and this and that
of hims and hers
but
you have something intriguing
in your eyes
that sets my heart into
pitter-patter irregularities
and my brain into
a fuzzy lump of misfired neurons

I cannot find words
that describe
the ounce of your being
and the weight of my soul
when it mixes with yours
so I sit back and quietly
contemplate the stars with you
throw rocks at the moon
and wait for the words to find me

Author notes


Written September 27th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • shadowed ghost
    November 19, 2005
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    This was really well written. Your words have so much weight to them, each one is a delicate part of this piece and it flows together even though they are different thoughts. Each line can stand alone, but it just fits perfectly together.
    Nice


  • The White Rabbit
    October 17, 2004
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    hiya mommy!! no i did not die!! i'm still here and i'm back!!! and this was an amazing poem abouthow you can't quite catch someone thats near perfect to you in a poem... i know the feeling... great job mommy i loved it expcially the "throwing rocks at the moon" part... i used to stand on my car and reach up and try and grab the moon or throw basketballs at it to try to knock it out of the sky so i could play with it... but i nvr reached it with love your daughter toriegirl

  • H-i-d-e
    October 8, 2004
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    Throwing rocks at the moon only leads to painful headaches. *Konk*

    I liked the irregular pacing in the line lengths, reminds me of the "pitter-patter irregularities" of a heart beat, then settling out in the end, to a steady paced flow.

    ~Dear my Sun, Should I know how low & low?
    Dear my Moon, Should I know How low & low?
    Dear my Stars, I regret not hearing it's grief
    Like a Wind, It seems so faint

    Sadness losens its grasp
    Along your shoulder it clings
    Gently twisting and dancing along, together with you
    It's a flame of sadness." -hide(flame)
    *I took a little "poetic liscence" in translating that haha*

    Edited on Oct 08, 12:54 because 'oopsiedoodles.'.


  • My Darkness
    September 28, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    awww love...i like this, and i can see myself in this...i love my boyfriend, and oddly enough his name is Josh too... great job on this, and thanks for sharing...keep em' coming

    take care

    -Crystal-


  • Jack Durden
    September 28, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    what happened to the coffee guy......well, great write like usual, where did you meet this guy at....ya, well, lots of emotion in this piece. i like how in the beginning, it seems like you are jumping around a lot, as if you are confused, well, it does say that, so, i guess it worked.
    keep it up

    charlie


  • Delphinidae
    September 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I thought it was the coffee guy you were talking aobut until your author's comments. You gave me many different visuals throughout this poem. The unsureness of a new relationship, exciting, yet being cautious. Many sections of this poem I really enjoyed. The neuron reference, and throwing rocks at the moon inparticular. I wish you the best in your new adventure, but don't forget about the coffee guy. You can always sip on a laite from time to time. (For some reason, the image of you and the coffee guy really appeals to me, lol).

1 - 6 of 6