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rhythmically unchallenged




Blustery mornings fill my eyes
The wind is throwing a tantrum
Leaves rustle and flutter
Zipping down the streets in clutters
Rhythmically unchallenged



Author notes

just looked out the window and saw and heard a pack of wild leaves crunching down the street - grouped and noisily making their way into someone else's yard
Written September 27th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • fangtacular
    December 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    so sweet, so beautiful. few words say more than a million ever could (in this case)


  • bedazzled
    November 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Short and sweet! So much despcription shoved into a few lines, xoxox


  • Frozentearz
    October 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was really cute
    I loved this line
    The wind is throwing a tantrum
    sometimes it sure does look like that
    thaks for entering this upbeat write
    Tears


  • Theater Of Dreams
    September 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Nice!

    Great job, lovely art!


  • der atlas
    September 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I really appreciate the freshness of brevity of this charming poem. Thanks for entering this - the word pictures are delightful and it is just the right length. GL.


  • thisispast
    October 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    i love the "wind is throwing a tantrum"- very creative piece here-- thanks for entering and much applause to you.


  • kryspin
    October 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    the contest hasnt ended yet


  • kryspin
    October 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    yippy



    *thumbs up to that poet*
    very good author!

    that's a great complement

  • poetaster
    October 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    Very nice. The style reminds me of one of my favorite poets William Carols Williams. Keep it up!


  • kryspin
    October 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    barren!

    yup, I'm in northern ontario! we have a few trees with green leaves but mostly no leaves lol


  • kryspin
    October 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    yay

    thank yu very much!

  • Rambler
    October 11, 2004
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    The final line especially was very intuitive. I have seen this same pack of leaves every year, scuttling dryly along the street. The leaves have yet to get that dry where I am. You must be further north.

  • mina nagi
    October 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you used word tantrum representing howling wind... your words've drawn a nice imagery... good luck in the contest...
    mina


  • onerios13
    October 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...okay, I have to admit that from start to finish this was a real gem, lol. You were able to pack in tons of delightful imagery and carefree clevery in this piece and I smiled all the way to the end...lol. Like Ana said...very very nice.

  • Nicole Hanna
    October 8, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Now THIS I REALLY like. I couldn't even pinpoint why other than the wonderful pictures that dance around in my head after reading it. Very nice.

1 - 15 of 15