my Dixie lingers, and lingers low
there is a salt on her saccharine lips
that burns with exquisite torture
upon my lips, as she leaves kisses
she marks upon me with heavy lassitude
and it's something that i just can't expunge
and i cant, just cant, for the life of me
guess how she does what she does
but Dixie, Dixie touches and things are magnified
personified
she recognizes the change i think, or tries to
the subtle shift in me, and i don't stand, really
in the shadow of her magnitude
she bows, then, and tries to leave
but no head turns while she moves
but eyes, eyes rivet to my face
my pale, and blossomed face
while i sit silently and with a calm expression
fountain glass straw to my lips sipping lemonade
in the heated afternoon of our rendez-vous
and yeah, i still love Dixie, can't stop my heart
from beating a mile a minute when she walks by
but i, i can help, that she doesn't love me
and so i walk, and i walk away head high
and she, she is still a Venus Rising
but i, now i glow like the moon
with a sheen that is opalescent
and beautiful in it's own way.
Nyx...
Author notes
Written September 27th, 2004
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1 - 8 of 8
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i got tired of being "beaten down" in these poems.
im not that much of a wishywashy
N... -
This one tugs me in all kinds of directions...something sultry, loving, sad...and strong in the end. A lot of images and thoughts found themselves wrapping around my brain fighting for their own place while i read this.
I liked the voice...soft, yet eventually, unyielding. Nice!
UB
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fuckin Hawt!
Aww Sammy this is Great! You make dixie seem like a goddess in this one. Your words spark this poem to life. So vivid I can touch it. Wonderful
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Yah, Dixie's pretty fictional, theres a little bit of me in the "narrator" but, not alot, i dont really skulk in peoples shadows but i do suffer from bouts of "she's so much better" i think, like most women do.
but at the end of the day, that last stanza suits me.
N... -
great write. and you say this character is fictional??? sometimes i wonder how i would relate to ur poems...and somehow once i read them, i feel like i have known u for ages...and i feel like i am apart of this "life" u have created. awesome.
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5 T's
I agree with Anasuya...but i definately think it got your point across...nice use of the English language. -
Very beautiful writing. My ONLY suggestion would be to use punctuation throughout the whole piece, periods, semi-colons, the whole nine yards, since you used commas here and there. I think it might tighten it a bit. However, this was just stunning. Your languange was used in such a way as to draw the reader into the emotion of it. Not to mention the very positive message at the end of it. Walk away head held high. Very nice.
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This is not at all what I expected. But I suppose it was inevitable. We can only take heartbreak for so long before we realize, it isn't fucking worth it. It can drown you, suffocate you. But you beat her. And I am glad.
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