My tale of woe might make you cry,
May make you wince and burn.
But girls, I think you need the truths
I’m here to help you learn.
The simple facts of life are these --
You just can’t keep your love
If, when he reaches for your leg,
He finds a prickly stub.
I dabbled with the Daisy 2.
It’s handle sweet and pink.
I've used the Venus II you see,
Contorting round the sink
But still my gams would fail the test
And stubble would remain.
I found I'd need the stronger stuff
For what I had to tame.
I moved on through the Turbos,
Likewise Mach II and III.
Yet still I nicked my ankle
And damn near lost my knee!
Outside I found the trimmers
And pruned until the dawn,
But still those stubborn stubbles
Resisted with a yawn.
Alas, though cut and bleeding,
I hobbled out to find
That special wheel for sanding
'Me timbers for to grind.'
I borrowed Rover’s trimmers
His "Dandy K9 Slims”.
Next I tried the loppers
For cutting trees from limbs.
Through all the Black and Deckers,
To Tougher Gal, by Stihl -
No dang motor rough enough
For my hardwoods from Brazil.
Gals, save yourselves this trouble.
To get those babies soothed --
Just move his hungry hands up to
Your pair of smooth skinned boobs.
Author notes
Written September 25th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Make me laugh!!!!! by Rachal.
400 points, ended October 4, 2004, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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LMAO. This is great. I can totally relate. This was a very good poem. I loved how you greativly rhymed stuff. This was really really good!
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I'm still laughing at such a plight. I must say hairy legs are a bit of a turn off but I rarely reach that far down. Too many other locales that demand attention...lol.
Sincerely yours,
Leo Long -
HAHAHAHA!
Yes, I hadn't thought of that, the mind boggles!! -
... or even worse.... lol
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Hahahaaha...
"Ain't nothing worse than sensuously running your leg up and down his.. and giving him carpet burn!! Still, so long as the stubble's not on your face....
Good luck in the contest,
Kyla -
This is hilarious i lvoe this poem. And sometimes..its so true..lol....good luck in my contest...Rachal
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teehee! that was awesome...really did get soem pure humour in there. melikes.
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Now there's some advice worthy of Voltaire. Can I just mention you certainly conjure up a vision of hirsute beauty. Mind you that is some line, man attacks woman's leg in pictures, mutters, "Christ aren't these hairy?" woman replies, "Maybe you would like to feel my smooth skinned tits instead? More popcorn?"
david -
If this doesn't win the contest, and I haven't read the other entries, somebody is nuts. This was hilarious. The humor never lagged but increased all the way to the end. Choice! I'll be looking to see if you get that trophy. If not I'll feel better about the one's I didn't win and know that some contest holders are just crazy.
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LOL love it!
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roflmao...oh, too funny...
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