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The Last Lament

Missing image


The winds of chill, echo eerily;
Carrying, distant screams of dying steeds;
Horns, blow in the night's deathly moans,
warriors arise, and watch the battle's
finale with sorrow;They, who gave their all
watch on, as in silent approval; As ladies fair
strive for the triumph, that should have been
their lovers all.

Drums, beat out the marching steps of dread;
Pipers, pipe their last laments recording
battles lost, soldiers bloodied youth take
their hopes and desires to the grave with
pride; Not so, their wives and children rise
and rush forward to their ultimate sacrifice;
Fading, sounds disperse through the trees
as one and all lie dead and dying; A hand
reaches out to gentle his mare of many
years, she, like him, have perished but
through legend will remain forever..............

 

Author notes

Photography borrowed from Bigmammjen... Many thanks.
Written September 25th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • cutiepie gold member
    September 26, 2004
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    Thank you


  • Enira
    September 25, 2004
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    Very nice imagery. I could witness what was going on as I read it. Good job. ^_^


  • Chilko
    September 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Woah, this is great! It gave me goosebumps. You paint an eery picture with your words ( sorry if I spelt that wrong) and this poem really makes an impression on hte reader. It's pretty easy to picture the scene of ghosts hovering over the battlefield where they fell. Beautiful write, Muchas amor, Mandy


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, I am still hoping to get the picture in the forefront when I can fathom out how to make it smaller Glad you liked this write , many thanks for your kind words


  • Night Hope gold member
    September 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    OMG!!!

    Woh, Lynne!!! Mannnn...this is an eerily beautiful write...I hear the snorting, see the steeds in the moon~lit darkness...nervously prancing...pacing...back & forth through Shadows...clouds hiding their instinctual fear in the foggy, misty smoke...what an vividly visual & visceral write you've done here, my Friend!!! I am impressed...very well done, Poet!!! Wanda


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Many thanks for the very constructive critique I have changed Silence for Moans Thanks once again


  • Topaz135 gold member
    September 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Having a vivid picture of wind chill and noise from steeds, it seemed a bit odd that the night was deathly silent.

    In the penultimate line would it be better to say

    'she, like him, had perished' as opposed to have

    This aside a very powerful evocative piece. eerie

1 - 7 of 7