I have been reduced
Back to the skin
No longer can I differ
'tween enemy, and kin
The sharing of secrets
was the first step
Now personalities meld together
from secrets I've kept.
I no longer need this
Garage sale Ouija board
The spirits come to me
Of their own accord
Eat not the flesh
Only the rind
Life isn't a race
There's no such thing
as being behind.
Fear not the truth
That's the first stride
Do not allow them
to plant ideas
in the backyards
of your minds.
Getting all of it out
Will take all your life
Sins of the father
This soap does not lather
This cup holds no more water
These shoes fit no longer
These roots have proved
To be stronger,
than your strife.
Standing alone
My arms are outstretched
My robe shall not waver
As heaven is rent
My voice is not muffled
By the blasts of their horns
I have no fear of this
Impending storm.
Hear me now
Remember
The path is gray
The wand is rainbow
The dagger's air
My altar's love
My promise, forever.
Author notes
Horus8's early poetry.
Written January 19th, 1997
In a list
A contest entry
- witchcraft by stevens5613.
350 points, ended October 4, 2006, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Really good! No matter how young you were, I should guess in your 20's?(do let me know), this poem is written very well. It stands strong and solid. I love the imagery all throughout the poem. One can imagine a Hermit's hymn to be like this. The second stanza is my favorite in the poem because I like how you said you no longer need an Ouija board to call spirits because now you are at a higher level of your spiritual or magical or psychic powers and many many things come to you naturally without you having to make special request for them. I love the way the poem has been laid out. I like the rhymes you used in this poem. Your voice holds a powerful tone in the whole poem(especially in stanza 2 and 3). In the fourth stanza I did not follow what this line means:"As heaven is rent"?
Congratulations on the Silver Trophy!
Do you know who won GOLD for this contest? If yes, please let me know the name of the poet and poem, I'm so keen to read it.
Thanks,
Charishma
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ok I see that I have, sorry about that.
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oops I am not sure if I had already applauded this I will try again and see, because this sure deserves it
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First of all I am surprised that you have not recieved more applauses for this piece, it is truly remarkable and I loved it!
I wish too to write this way, You are definitely talented!
Your words from beginning to end is appropriate in the ways of the witch. I loved how you written that you no longer need the Ouija board because the gift has become greater established, thus telling you are advancing to a higher level of spirituality, insights and gift.
Overall I have to say this is a wonderful write, and thank you so much for entering it and sharing it.
Edited on Jul 06 because ''. -
we don't hate you because you're beautiful....
(it's nice to see a softer side to you).
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Ah, this piece sings to my soul on many levels. Intriguing and captivating in essence, calling to the higher mind to see that which is written and that which is left unsaid. A marvelous write and a pleasure to read. Bravo! Best of luck to you in the contest. Namaste' Gypsy
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Last week I refered to myself in person,
but alas no one was home, so I wept
chocolate ice scream. -
I like how you refer to yourself in third person in the author comments. lol. This poem was very beautiful, and I could really sense how personal it was to you. I especially liked the last few lines that really give the beliefs and existence that is tangible with the dagger and altar. I enjoyed this!
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I love the father/lather/water part. I like this, it's got a calm depth to it.
Edited on Oct 04, 4:18 p.m. because 'slash'. -
Makes me want to go grab a can of Tennants and shout at the traffic. Not sure how my innate desire to be a crazy tramp relates to hermitage, but there you go.
I particularly enjoyed the way some of the strongest statements and images burst through (such as-
"I no longer need this
Garage sale Ouija board
The spirits come to me") and the rainbow/grey stuff at the end which is probably what made my brain leap from hermits to traffic-shouters in the first place.
It has the feel of a 'young' poem about it (no I can't put my finger on my, I have a cold and my brain doesn't work) but with that in mind, was still a bright/evocative piece to read.
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Yeah! I liked the same stanza maddhatting liked! Now, this deep, and surely sounds as if it were something a hermit would say! How much younger were you? These are profound sentiments at any age! Good luck in this contest.
I see your trophy case is getting heavier.
I think you will easily get another! Hope all is well with you and your family. Is that new baby here yet?
Much Love,
Renee
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Fear not the truth
That's the first stride
Do not allow them
to plant ideas
in the backyards
of your minds.
That is awsome. -
This is a very soft and peaceful poem, and the descriptions are very, very nice...don't know what else to say but I do really like this poem...but my brain is about 5 feet to the left of me and that really doesn't help with thinking, but really nice poem, probably the softest and most peaceful I've seen in a while (so why am I not going bleh? oh...this poem really isn't that sappy!)
~Colleen
Edited on Sep 24, 11:29 p.m. because 'what can I say, typing with my toes ain't that easy'. -
Yeah I dropped a stanza, and it got better.
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I was a younger man when I wrote this. Thought it'd work for this contest though.
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It is a little uneven but when its good its very good. Full of metaphor and image it could do with a small edit but that said it is better than anything I have read this morning and I have read some good stuff. Nice writing
david
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