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To Respected... (2)

Her heart was losing hope,
I knew it as I knew her,
But, I was ever-ready to listen to her,
And to help her, or sometime advice her.

Wasn’t smooth enough for me,
As, darkness was all she wanted to see.
Her Paul accidentally met with accident,
And since her peace is no more silent.

I am, I know, too young, and may be, too stupid and immature
To advice such a matured lady,
But then still, I talked to her much
So that she may share her pain and things like such.

It, may be, worked, but not much.
And then along with her, I too lost hope.

But, now I smile, when I see her, always in a soothing mood
Her bum-bum jokes and giggling pranks,
She is getting into stable state, just sometimes
Little unstable with her funny speaking dance

Then she told, it were you.

You wrote a nice verse for her.
You made her see all her hope back.
You prevented the cuteness in her from withering away.
You shared her pain.
You gave her reasons, for not to give up.
You made her, what she should have been.
You gave her a new shining morning.
You, yes you. And for this,
This little Vic thanks you.

You showed her new ray of light.
You made her forget her plight.
You made her write with proper syllables.
You made her ill heart curable.
You, I hope, someday will make her forget her past too.
You, I wish, will make a better Laura-Loo.
You, yes you. And for this,
Little Vic thanks you.

To change her into such a great state would have been impossible,
For this, blunder-maker, idiotic, ill-behaved eternalpoet
To change her life, I thank you,
Thank you KIRBYSMAN,
Thank you HOOSIERPOET.


Vichitra Joshi (J.VIC)


Author notes

sorry for the grammer mistakes, i know it is full of grammer mistakes, but then, hope you like it.

i tried to write it in Blank verse, just was trying to copy you laura.. .. i think i aint good on it..

but i hope u like this poem
Written September 23rd, 2004

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • between slices
    April 14, 2007

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    Oh I bet you touched her soul with this. Very sweet of you to put together this tribute.
    For her, I thank you.
    bless ya!


  • barefoot contessa silver member
    November 14, 2004
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    This was beautiful dude. Who was the bum bum jokes about? lol Anyways, this was a lovely tribute. I hope you touched their souls with this. It touched mine.


  • poetryality silver member
    November 13, 2004
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    I think this may be more free verse than blank verse Vic. All the same to me, because this is such a sensative and endearing tribute to someone you must feel deeply for. Very nicely written. It is understandable for me for those who are not native Americans to have troubles with our grammar and language usage, afterall there are many of us who were born and live in these states who have trouble with it. Great write! Beautiful tribute!


  • Zahhar gold member
    October 4, 2004
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    a pleasent tribute. have either or both of the two people this is written for seen it yet?

    some notes on blank verse you might find interesting.

    1) it need not rhyme. in fact, it's not really blank verse if rhyme is employed.

    2) lines are generally pentametric, meaning, each line is in some sort of pentameter, though most of the lines are in iambic pentameter. for instance:

    here the wind rips across the wasted shore
    a distant vessal looms into the sight
    blown unruddered toward the stormy reef
    until the hulking metal's thundering crash
    are heard and felt above the wind and rain

    each of these lines are in some sort of pentameter, but no rhyme is used. this is a fragment of blank verse. one very well known example of blank verse is John Milton's "Paradise Lost". it's not very accessible to us modern readers, but reading a copy of it would make the nature of blank verse pretty clear. there are many modern examples, too.


  • Wolf of Night
    September 30, 2004
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    Beautiful piece and wonderful tribute to these other two poets but what i seem to recall she gave you all credit for being the legs she had to stand on! So in essence she was a three legged woman! LOL!!!! Oh sorry anyway this is a great piece and a great way to pay respects to those who helped you with the hard task you had! I respect you as few would take the time to help! I commend You!


  • Anais Elaine
    September 28, 2004
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    Beautiful

    Vic this is such a beautiful piece of work, your friend is so lucky to have you,
    This poem is so filled with love for your friend, and I know you are not too young, too stupid or too immature to advise.
    Good luck in the contest my friend.
    Take care because I care
    Elaine

    p.s you can call me "Dear" anytime


  • jenelda silver member
    September 24, 2004
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    You are such a wonderful caring person Vic, it's going to be a pleasure writing a poem about you for it will be filled with love-jenni

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    September 24, 2004
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    This is another precious poem by you Vic, you are ever dedicated your your friends and are a ray of light in days that can be bleak for the sake of misfortune. Sometimes, people can just feel bad for no particular reason, a bad day so to speak and all it takes in either case to lift a spirit is a smile, and you have an easy way of giving out those smiles. A wonderful poem! Best of wishes.. ~genielassie~


  • Trilliana
    September 24, 2004
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    beautifully sweet Vic... I love how you wrote it... sweet... I hope you do well in the contest hun!


  • Laura Lamarca
    September 24, 2004
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    This is beautiful but it was YOU too who made me feel better. I can be myself with you Vic (my 15 year old self..hehe.) I can be silly & tell stupid jokes without building my defensive walls high. I can write whatever I choose to & know you will always be honest. You are my friend, my son. I'm proud to be your Mama, your Maam & I'm proud to have read this write too. Thank you for being my son. La x

1 - 10 of 10