We don't click.
You even scare me.
I am not sure about you.
I don't even trust you.
You don't make me smile.
I feel hurt by all your reactions.
None of the cards fit for us.
I don't feel comfortable
but am always on edge
always full of fear.
We've never really laughed together
I've never really shared myself with you
We can't stare into each others eyes
like they say is a sign of friendship.
But you assure me that I can trust you.
I feel your tears.
My heart and eyes fill with tears.
I believe you.
Somehow despite everything missing
that saddens me so,
I know I can trust you.
I know you're sincere.
I believe you.
Author notes
Option one: someone you love, but can't talk to.
Written September 23rd, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Sadly, if someone is SCARING ME i can't trust him at all.. lol.. but i guess that these kind of friendships are one of a kind! You're lucky to have this kind of friend.. great write! I love how you just wrote down your feelings and it turns out so beautiful. Good luck in my contest! Thanks for entering!
undisc0vered
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I have friendships like this, so I can definitely relate. You put this confusing kind of relationship wonderfully into words, great job! The background is beatiful too. Good luck in the contest!
Take care, and God bless!
Sarah Beth -
Bravo
Sometimes you have to go with your gut feeling. That's where the true emotions lie. Nice work expressing them. Keep up the great writing. -
Actually it's not an online friend, but I can see why you would think that. It's a person very very close to me, which is why the feelings don't make sense to me. But I am glad you picked up that he sounds 'honest'- that is the end feeling I get too.
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You have expressed the strange magnetism one can experience with some people very well. It often indicates a connection at the soul level, unresolved differences we need to face. It can also, as you've indicated, be an intuitive sense they are not what they seem or claim. It is something to work through to discover the cause and meaning - like most things in life.
Well done!
~ G
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Excellent expression of your emotions... You're braver than me. I'm a runner. I liked all of it except the repeated phrase in your author's notes..."This particular friendship" I bet you could cut it down and use the phrase only once. But that's JMHO...
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Thanks blupoetess- your comment hit the nail on the head in order to sort the confusion. You are right sometimes the inability to click is for a reason- it's a warning, and other times it is for innocent reasons. Wow, crystal clear to me now. Thanks for your help.
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this reminds me of this one person that i didnt click with this one time..but i was still facinated by this person..the scars on his arms, black lipstick and dirty skin...brilliant person...had tons of problems...we werent really friends...but we talked..some great conversations...usually dark topics...like drugs and depression....we didnt click..but i like the 'relationship'..until he stole $300 from me..then i realized why we didnt click in the first place...he was crazy and held no limitions or boundaries to what he would do to be himself....if that makes sense..neways..i liked the poem..simple..but says alot..good luck
~*~Blu~*~ -
Almost seems like an online friend (can't stare into each other's eyes). Also seems like an honest friend.
The poem does seem 'rough and raw' but like you said it's your emotions as is. -
I can deffinately feel the passion in this piece and the maddness I guess or something like that. But this is a good poem. I really like it!!! Great Job.
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DearSam, you really understood this poem. Thank you so much. Your comment was very meaningful to me. Sincerely, Duana
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This is gorgeous, my favorite type of poetry...true thoughts of the moment. Nothing sings out so sweet and true as flow free words.
This has so much passion in it. Knowing that things aren't perfect. Always lacking some unknown something. Still, trust is there. How how wonderful a feeling to be able to trust someone.
Am I making sense? lol
Wonderful write.
SAM
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This is great sort of how I feel with this on guy I know. I feel I can trust him but...I'm on the edge of things. Beautiful write!
~Kayla
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Duana this is what is called a Free Verse I do believe and no matter whether to some it works or fits it is in the end your opinion that really matters!!!! I enjoyed it, it was different yet an enjoyable read! Good Luck to you in the contest!
~Nikki~ -
Well, I like it.
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Excellent
Hi,
This was a fantastic write my friend. I have read you authour notes, and I must tell you that you did an excellent job on this particular piece. Truth is always the way to go, and you have done so with candor. Thank you for sharing this and for all your wonderful comments.
--Johnny -
WOW i feel EXACTLY this way about one of my best friends...scary...he sometimes hurts me and we never share jokes or anything but we've trusted each other with so many secrets...yeah. I love this! Thanks for entering!
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Hi. Thanks Pieere. I know to some people this will look like a rough outline to a poem, but for me it is complete as it stands-in terms of my honesty, but I know not as a poem. It was more important for me to try to say what I wanted to say than to write a good poem, I guess. Thanks for your encouragement.
Edited on Sep 23, 3:16 p.m. because ''. -
Thanks LadyRage. I guess as time goes by I will get more comfortable with my own style.
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Thanks DamagedCase. I wondered if others would be able to relate to this. I am glad I wrote it, and I am glad you were able to connect with it.
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Thanks John, your comment got my creative juices flowing. I realize now how you can go from basic feelinsg and use them as a base to create. Thanks for the insight.
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excellent!
Even if it is not a poem and more of a prose, and not sure that is the right word either, it is still very solid.
Your words here speak for themselves and to be honest, that is all anyone can do.
Very well done! -
This is very well written and very much is a poem. Any feeling being expressed and put down on paper the way this is the way this flows has to be nothing less. Great write.
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I think it's free verse...LOL, I'm no bloody genius, but that's what it looks like, and Walt Whitman pretty much proved that free verse is DEFINITELY a form of poetry. I think this was awesome...I can relate to it. I have issues trusting some people, and your poem really reached out to me. Like everything else you write, it's awesome, too. And simplicity? That doesn't matter...sometimes it's the simplest things that are the very best. But congrats on this piece - it was from the heart, and I enjoyed reading it.
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very strong
This is quite frightening as a tale. It is first full of fear and then trust even though the fear is recognized. A smart horse would not walk down this trail.
Well written
John -
Thanks I know that simplicity irks people around here. But I couldn't bring myself to be any different in writing this. Thanks for your encouragement. It always means a lot.
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Well of course it is a poem, I think it is.... right? Well I consider every sort of writing put in a form like this to be poetry in its own way, especially when it is feelings, because personal feelings always tend to make for the best kind of writing, well anyway good job on this and keep it up.
Edited on Sep 23, 1:44 p.m. because ''.
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