we must do this in secret
in the cloak of the night
you come round the corner
silver armour glints white
i, just a lowly pauper
you, the king's first knight
i, a farmer's daughter and wife
you, who wars in ill-fated fight
we dance in our twilight courtship
an elaborate shadow in the night
i say goodnight not goodbye
you swear your love again tonight
i know it is impossible for eternity
to blossom from a display so bright
i know a knight's vow is true and strong
even though i know our tryst is not right
but this pauper's wife does also know
she won't ever say goodbye, just goodnight
Author notes
Aw, hell...I think I gave myself a story idea!! SHANNA HELP ME!!!!!!!! ;p
Written September 21st, 2004
A contest entry
- ... by .
501 points, ended May 16, 2005, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Great
Sure do hate to read the competition when it is this good! Seriously liked this, forbidden love, nothing like it to catch ones attention, this is well done, great job and good luck in the contest! Super! -
This has a nice forbidden feel to it. Even though it's a "doomed" situation, it even feels like it's got a bit of hope, too. Nice job!
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Aw, how lovingly sweet! Truly touching, and I really enjoyed!
You just gotta love those knights in shining armor!
Great write and keep it up! Thanks for making my school day that much better...
Kate
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WOw good piece and yeah it woul dmake a great story! Forbidden love is under rated! Great flow and rythem and great idea! I was reading it think this should be a story and then I read you authors comments and was Like hmmmmmmm gues great minds do think alike LOL! My mind great Yeah right! Good job!
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im not really sure whether to take this as a compliment or a criticism...maybe you could be a little more specific with your comment, make it more clear as to whether you liked it or not. if not, let me know what i could elaborate on. either way, thank you for the comment!!
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yes im actually researching for a story to go along with this piece right now. i should have it started here in not too long. thanks for your comment!!
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I would have liked more. I guess I'm just a glutton. Have you considered writing this in a story form. It was quite captivating and made me hungry for more details, more action, more time with the characters. Good one here.
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And a farmer's wife? An affair I see! And with horseman, a common daydream I'm sure.
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tingly!!!
Dear Sarah,
I think this is beau-coup cool! I felt the darkness and moonlight coming off of the AP page itself.
I got nervous at their point of rendezvous too.
I think that loving3sons is right though, it leaves a lot of questions unanswered.I'm not that inquisitive though.
It was like picking up a novel at the store and turning to a page.
Great images.
John -
ewww..i like the story idea...no matter how disgusted i 'appear'...( my joke, i got it, thats all that matters ) neways..i like the idea...good job with this..would like to see it developed more...in say, a story....but..as is..good stuff
~*~Blu~*~ -
I can see a story from this as well because I had all sorts of questions about the knight and the pauper's wife...how did they first meet, why are they in love, he comes from round the corner but where does she appear from, why did she marry the farmer, what would he do if he knew (could he beat a knight?) LOL
I really like what you wrote.
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Great write! I love the line "I say goodnight not goodbye". I hate saying good byes when it comes to love. This was well written and a nice story. Well done, Jason
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good job
forbidden love? i like this. it's got good flow, possibilites for this are boundless, good job.
1 - 13 of 13









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