Here I lie, alone in my bed.
Desperately trying to clear my head.
Here I lie, waiting for you.
Hoping my suspicion isn't true.
Hearing you lie, with no end in sight.
"I've been out with my friends. I've been with them all night."
Hearing you lie, I hang up, crying.
You'll never know, inside, I'm dying.
I gave everything to you. I told you a thousand times,
How much I loved you with your hand in mine.
I gave EVERYTHING TO YOU! All my love, all my heart.
And now I see you are tearing it apart.
I'd do anything for you. And you know it's true.
Anything you wanted is what I would do.
I'd do ANYTHING FOR YOU! I never wanted it to end.
But now, look at you... all you do is pretend.
Did you think I wouldn't know? I wouldn't find out?
You're not a good liar. It's not what you were about.
Apparently, it seems, I didn't know you like I thought.
What happened? We never argued, never fought.
I thought everything was so perfect, so great.
I should have noticed from our first date.
Someone would call you, "I have to go."
You'd hang up and just smile. I should have known.
Who it is... I don't have a clue.
If I did, who knows what I would do.
Would I take it out on me? Would I take it out on you?
Would I take it out on him? ...who knows what I would do.
You went and tore my fucking heart out! WHY!?
WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?
So... here I sit, back towards the wall.
Half-empty bottle... waiting for your call.
So... here I sit, loading the gun in my hand.
Six will be enough. I close my eyes... I stand.
Taking another drink, tears fill my eyes.
Dropping the bottle, rage in my mind.
I take a deep breath, physically shaking.
Slowly walking, I start pacing.
So much sadness, inside, I'm dying.
Sadness and rage, I fall, crying.
Why did this happen? Why with me?
What was there that I didn't see?
Again, you told me you were "out with your friends."
So now, I know... this is the end.
Author notes
Ok... I thought the first little bit when I was getting out of the shower, so I just went with it and this is what I came up with. This isn't a personal poem for me, I just wrote. I also really don't like the ending, but I couldn't think of where to go with it. Once again... I wasn't feeling any of this. Don't worry. I just wrote 
Written September 19th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Thank you
-
damn!
omg!!!! thats so amazing -
This is so sad. I can relate to this. Trying to love some that doesn't want to love you back this was really sad and I can feel your pain
You did a wonderful write. Keep it up. From ASmileIs4Ever2
-
Thanks for the comments And actually, I have sorta felt like this before, but not as intense as I wrote it. The more I wrote, the more I thought about the emotion that was in it, and the more I sorta started to put myself in the position. When writing it, I actually started shaking, my heart started pounding, and I started breathing really irratically. I was getting so emotional... just from writing it.
-
wow, kyle. that's amazing. it was so full of emotion it made my heart hurt. very very good. i like it a lot.
-
While you say it has no personal relation to your life right now, perhaps it did at some point? It is written with the full bodied emotion of that moment in time, the understanding, the dawning and realizing that something must come to an end. Fabulous write.
-
holy shite!
sweet.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
2 old applause
