I've tried so hard to hide,
All of my feelings,
All of your lies.
I let you believe that I didn't care,
But whatever you said,
I just couldn't bear.
It's so hard to think, that you'd want that of me,
Just wish me away,
Want me to leave.
I'm sorry that I've become such a disgrace,
You can't stand to talk to me,
Hate the sight of my face.
I tried to run away, get out of your glare.
But all I wanted was you to come after me,
To show me you cared.
I'm here alone, crying in my room,
But nobody's coming,
I'm left in this gloom.
I can't take much more, I'm not strong enough,
I'm a dying candle,
In a wind that's too rough.
Author notes
I'm not writing this poem for it to be good, it's just a show of how I feel at the moment. I thought it would be easy to put into words, but there's just too much to say, and too little words...
Written September 18th, 2004
In a list
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Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Good expression in this.It's so sad, I want to cry.
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Superlative...lol...i love that word...
beautiful i am amazed...it takes work to be able to have a really good emotional poem WITH a really good rhyme scheme... good job... -
Awesome!
Oh!I feel this pain!This is such an emotional and well written poem.You did an excellant job on this one!I saw your pictuire on your author page.You are very pretty,as wellas talented!What gifts God has endowed you with!You need never envy anybody. -
i can relate to this. pouring it out onto paper is a relief isn't it?
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WOW!!!!!! This is a great poem and i like it alot.
Lynette -
NICE
wow gurl this is a GREAT POEM! ahhh, i love the last line! ~in a wind that's too rough~ that line ROX! well keep it up!
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wanna hug u tight!
hi emma i didnt know this poem was there and after reading it now i feet so sad..and its quite some time u have posted it so i hope everything must have been fine and worked out your way till know!i really felt bad u felt that way..i wish u to be happy and wish all the best for you..
much love emma
take care! -
Tear jerking, beautiful, feel the pain
BlueStar~
This is an amazing poem.. just reading it makes me want to cry. I know you don't know me but if you ever need to talk I'm here for you anytime I'm going through what you are going through so you can talk to me if you would like. This is an amazing poem. You can feel how you feel when reading this.. and I agree I love the ending of it. I can tell you hurt so don't keep your feelings in or your poetry will turn out like mine trust me your poems are beautiful keep it up and hold that head up high.
~*Mallory*~ -
I think when you write a poem without trying to be good, but because of an emotional state, is when it does turn out good. (as evidenced here)
I like this; it conveys your emotional state so well.
I especially like the way you've ended this.
one suggestion:
in line 1 of stanza 4, I'd change 'I have' to I've. I think it would make the line flow better.
~Lea -
You've done a wonderful job of expressing your feelings in this piece, even though that wasn't quite your intention... sometimes it feels as if we have the weight of the world on our shoulders... but you're stronger than you think. Keep your head up and the pen down. FalseReality
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x-whoa Emma,sorry Im just commenting on this poem,this poem Is really good..do you feel better now?*hugz*I sure hope so..I can relate to this poem from past experiences,It does get better
Keep writing cause you have such talent,luv always,saz-x
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exceptional read
i think that all emotions weather they be from pain/ sorrow/ happiness or anything are exceptional in my opinon when wrote down, because they are what you are feeling. i think that the stanza that stands out to me the most is:
I can't take much more, I'm not strong enough,
I'm a dying candle,
In a wind that's too rough.
i thank you so much for writing and posting this read. im sorry that i havent been able to read and comment on your poems in a while, i havent been online very much and well i think im back and hopefully am able to read more. thank you again. ~Julzzz~ -
Thank you so much for your comment - I've missed you soo much - so great to hear from you - thnx. Big hugs xxx
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My dear, dear Blue
Aww! You are never sad...and I'm so sorry to hear that you are. I'll find out who it is and beat them senseless with a spork.
On the other hand, you did write this well. You could definately feel the emotion but it wasn't overpowering. Fantasic job --
-A -
very well expressed
Oh honey, I am so sorry this is going on. I want to do whatever I can for you. Who is doing this to you? Want me to beat them up, what? I want only for you to be happy hon. You have expressed yourself so well in this poem. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do.
Much love to you hon,
Cyber Mum
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Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean so much. Thank you for caring sis
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Oh wow Sis I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, its so sad yet with your sad words is a depth of beauty within them. I am here if you ever need to talk I'm not on hotmail anymore because for some reason the server always breaks
But please IM me or e-mail me anytime, I am always here and I love & care about you very much 
---Sara
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