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Dumb

Blurry vision
A car's back seat
Mouth clamped tightly
Shoes torn from my feet

Breathing is heavy
And nothing's remembered
Except the rumors, the lies
And then a child; dismembered

In front of my eyes
The worst thing I've done
And I still hear her
Calling me.
Dumb.

Author notes

not happy with this poem at all...any suggestions???
Written September 18th, 2004

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • polly
    September 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    'the end is kinda disturbing'?? the whole bloody thing is disturbing! great write though...


  • cuteness
    September 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    ur not happy with it??? i am...... the end is kinda disturbing tho.... u know y??? COS UR NOT DUMB! well at least in my eyes ur not.... i think u are a wonderful poet... and u show emotion very well so ha... u cant be dumb if u can do that!!! i loved this poem... keep it up
    Later, Linzui