Here, now you stand
In the dark
Of a moon that never sleeps
Wandering around
To find
Nothing at all
The sun is in your eyes
The sun is in your soul
And if you can hear the sun
Tell it about the moonlight
Here, now you stand
Scorching heat
In the desert of the sun
Wandering around
To find
Nothing at all
The rain is in your eyes
The rain is in your soul
And if you can meet the rain
Tell it about the deserts
Here, now you stand
Drowning here
Not a chance to see your tears
Wandering around
To find
Nothing at all
The wind is in your eyes
The wind is in your soul
And if you can see the wind
Tell it about the water
Here, now you stand
With the dead
Of a thousand wars ahead
Wandering around
To find
Nothing in their hearts
The love is in your eyes
The love is in your soul
And if you can feel the love
Tell it about the hatred
And if you can see the sun
Tell it about the moonlight
Author notes
In my recent return to poetry...
I've been aching to write this poem...
I never paused... It sort of just flowed through my fingers as I typed it in...
Written September 17th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow, very nicely created. I liked reading this
very good imaginery and powerful in its way well done you
take care
XxGxX
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I always enjoy these almost stream of consciousness pieces. The refrain of "and if you can see the sun, tell it about the moonlight" was breathtakingly haunting and softly seductive. In fact, for the most part, I almost felt like I was watching a mini-version of "Phantom Of The Opera", lol. It just had feeling of dark or forbidding emotion swirling around its depths. Very nicely done.
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it is a good poem. the incorporation of the four elements of ancient science appealed to me, earth as the dessert, the sun as fire, rain as water, and wind as air. very nice. and to me it seemed to be set in prehistory, a forshadow of the grief that would be the world.
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each of these things is the compliment to the other...and i find great beauty in such balance. It is something i strive for in my personal life, and so i was pleased to encounter it here.
Its a well penned piece...i'm glad filled need to create it.
CM -
I absolutely loved this poem. One of the best I've read in a while. I love the rythem it has, I don't know if you made it that way of not, but it just gave the poem a feeling...oh, I just can't describe it... Anyway, it flowed flawlessly and the words were beautifully written. I love how you repeat lines and stanzas also, it made the stanza more powreful. The repetition and the rythem together made me think that it was almost an extended metaphor of nature. Like, nature repeats, and everything has a rythem. I thought that was brilliant!
Fantastic poem! Keep up the great work!
---Katy -
Interesting...very complex, i think. it seems like it could relate to a person, or society thingy. like they try different paths, (Moon and the sun) but they dont find the answer. there are different aspects in each "path" (wind, rain, etc.) in these places, some in one and not the other. they are discovered, not just known about. Each thing is seperate, but they like should know about each other and would be better if they did. with the love and hatred part, its like they both exist, but they're not acknowledged as relating to each other. i know half of this didn't make sense, so i will edit it later.
great write!
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This has a Native American feeling to it, with the personification of the elements. It has a lovely flow, and the repetition works well.
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wow.. beautifully written. I love how this just flowed with nature. Kinda left me with a feel good smile and now I'm speachless!
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