seeking comfort
within those moments
where eyes
meet
breaths
heard
in a moment
of passion
where love finds those midnight eyes
conversations touch in corners
laughter met
and enchantment
finds velvet endings
bright in that promise
drifting past that completion
falling within September
where one listens to the
warmth
and tastes the romance
of a lifetime.
Sept. 16, 2004
Author notes
Written September 16th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Oh My, this is exquisite! The form and structure are fantastic and the content...well, what can be said about love. The pic you chose is a great compliment to this. Great job!
Lily ~* -
not sure how to interpret the line indentations, but i suppose it adds something to the way the poem reads.
the feeling of it this feels a lot like other romantic/love poems. the one line i really did like, however, was this one:
conversations touch in corners
this unique wording created quite the appropriate image for the poem.
don't have any thoughts on how to improve it.
love the picture though. the woman looks kind of sinister, but in a fanciful erotic sort of way. -
Beautiful and sensual. Ver nice write.
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Oh and perhaps you ought to have this in adult, due to the picture content. Just a thought...HUGS, Dari xxx
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Hmmm...I like this, but not as well as I'd like to. The opening is nice...but...
seeking comfort
within those moments
where eyes
meet
breaths
heard
in a moment
of passion
I'd change the second 'moment' to something else as it's too close to the first 'moment' you have already mentioned. I think something like snapshot, or another word to mean moment would be better. Describe it...perhaps 'heartbeats' of passion? The 'h' of heart would echo the 'heard' and the 'b' of beat would echo the 'breaths'. I dunno...but moment just didn't seem to cut it right with me. All in all this is just a suggestion and you can reject it as such and I won't be offended. I do love this piece though, it's very visual, and tactile. I love poems that don't just speak, but they show you, make you feel within as well as without! HUGS, Well penned my friend. Dari xxx -
an intoxifying piece
you've done a wonderful job
love the pic as well -
Intamacy can be found on so many different levels, other then the obvious. "enchantment finds velvet endings". Truly a beautiful write full of sentiment. I wish I had found your work earlier.
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Ooooh, kinda kinky in there side.
It's so nice. I like it. It makes me feel warm even though I'm freezing my fingers off. XD Nice poem.
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Out of all the romantic poems that I have been reading this one actually made since all the way through. It reminds me of me and my husband and how we are together. It is a very intimate moment that only two can share with one another. This poem is very well written.
f: roxy1985
aka - rebekah -
A very specil intimate moment you have captured here of two lovers. A lovely piece of writing
Keep on penning
Natalia -
This is beautiful, sensual, wonderful. The imagery is amazing and the picture sets it off a treat. To me, this is true love and you have described it perfectly. La x
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Someone must be in love? Awesome write my friend. I love the scattered form you chose.
Red -
well..isnt that what everyone wants...very nicely penned...a lovely flow to it...all in all...well done...enjoyed
~~Blu~~ -
'where love finds those midnight eyes' A beautiful image painted there in the reader's mind..or it did so in mine. Wonderful tone set here.. and just a superb piece all together. The picture brings it to a more visual sense-- great work!
Much love,
ashley -
great work!
this is definitely a poem that a guy should read his love. its so sentimental
makes one long for a warm person to sleep on lol
Whitemoon -
Short, but wonderful. The picture seemed to fit it perfectly. Keep up the great work, like always.
X Unvivid Dreams X
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It does if you know where to look my friend!
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It does not last.
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this was so sensually brilliant. It had such a softness about it, and the pic added the perfection glow to the entire poem. With such warmth and beauty, how can one not love this poem? well done!
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very pretty verse you have scribbed here. love finds midnight eyes... romantic and mystical all rolled into one. touching loving poem. take care, smile
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This is a great poem. I liked how you displayed your love to purely and honestly. I also liked the format of your poem. Great job on this. Nice and vivid too.
~ destiny~ -
Enchanting, extremely well written, I love the imagery and the picture that you have added to the top, wonderful.
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That embrace, it felt so wonderful
the way he held her
the way her body felt so close to his,
her mind a blur of thoughts, emotions, images,
she just doesn't know...
He awaits their next embrace
Sorry! That just kinda hit me as I was staring at the image. I agree with Cheryl, your poetry definitely has great form. The words just flow across a page like thick, warm, sweet honey. Always a delight to read! Thank you for the pleasure!
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"where one listens to the warmth and tastes the romanceof a lifetime"
whoa....I read this twice and I am still speechless.....
Amazing, Bill.... -
What I like about your poetry, is your form. Very unique. But you know that, I have said it every time. So reminiscent of Rod McKuen. It is so easy for me to see that is where you get your influence, but that is only because I, too, am a lover of Rod.
This poem is no exception, nicely done.
Cheryl
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great
I love this romace in Your write Great again from Your heand anna
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Very lovely poem Bill I hope the future is bright for you and all you wish for comes true~Love to you my friend~Joan
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Beautiful Bill, absolutely beautiful... I can't believe this amazing write... I am just in awe my friend, absolutely in awe. Bravo, just... wow... keep writing... I need something like this right now
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See It is poems like this that got me in trouble with the ladies. This is a great poem, Very heartfelt and emotional. If you wrote this for some one special, I hope they appreaciate it.
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