Come on
hurt me
small minded one
tame me
such a rebel
I dance
come on
condemn me
try to subdue
this heart
beat me
I love it
make me stronger
through you oppression
come on
kill me
dance with me
dance destruction
throughout the night
come on still one
kill me
I値l dance
smiling while you try
try to cut me
kill me
yeah, I値l dance
You値l die
come on
hate me
belittler
chain me
so naive
I still dance
come on
change me
try to stop
this spirit
hit me
I want it
make me the victim
I値l be the victor
come on
kill me
dance with me
dance destruction
throughout the night
come on still one
kill me
I値l dance
smiling while you try
try to cut me
kill me
yeah, I値l dance
You値l die
come on
attack me
unbeliever
bind me
so wild
I dance
come on
destroy me
try to snuff out
this passion
wound me
I need it
make me powerful
kill me weakness
come on
kill me
dance with me
dance destruction
throughout the night
come on still one
kill me
I値l dance
smiling while you try
try to cut me
kill me
yeah, I値l dance
You値l die
Author notes
about how pain can make ppl stronger than who they were before
Written September 15th, 2004
A contest entry
- My First: No Particular Theme by Anly Stede.
350 points, ended September 24, 2004, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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very unique and interesting way of conveying your emotions. dont you hate it when people take advantage of kindness?
great write, i really enjoyed this. i love how youre vengeance of 'ill dance while you insult me' type of thing. its excellent
Jen
Edited on Sep 25 because 'typo'. -
through you oppression ... you should be your
I think this is good, but a little too agressive, or so that is my opinion. I think that you did a good job on this! -
good
This has a great beat to it , I felt the anger the taunting the pain . Good write -
Fair. I liked this poem. It was well written, and flowed nicely. At one point I got just a wee bit bored, but it pulled through in the end. Good job, and I wish you luck with whatever prompted you to write such a dark (but successful) poem.
Cheers,
Phoebe -
i really liked this...and of course its good to think that way. i've been through alot and no matter how much i tell myself the answer isn't at the bottom of a bottle...i can't ever an optimist.....props to you!
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Hey,
We all meet people in our lives who try to put us down, but keep doing what you're doing. Keep that head held high (just not too high that you manage not to see the people you may step on by acting like that ,haha) and continue your own path in life. Always have faith in yourself. However, I personally, and eh, it's just me, so don't take it personally, I'm not big on poems that usually use "you'll die.. and kill me" and stuff like that, even though , if placed in the right spot, it can really "hit" ya, but some repetitiveness, kind of draws away from your idea, but I like your idea of growing stronger from people putting you down. Continue growing, like all of us should.
~Liz -
peace out a town
wow thats great very good you are talented unlike myself i dont think i write a single good poem yet your lyrics are great -
Yeh I understand this alot...Oh sorry, VERY GOOD, lol...anywayz, I understand this....It's like (lame simmilarity, I know!) muscles...It hurts when you build them up, but when ure done with the hurting part you're stronger!
lol Great poem
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Very Good :)
hi there I like this poem... it's got the definite feel of strength... ready to confront anything... I really like the format too... I'm curious as to the tempo meant for this song considering the layout of the text... great job, really
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pain is never good, but everything is to learn from your mistakes, and to learn lessons from aches that you will never have to experience again.
We've all had pain, and it has all made us a stronger person inside, but how strong ARE we? Are we strong? This pain we have, these are tests, there is no right or wrong, only opinions and everyone has their own experiences. We all learn from them, hopefully. XoXoXoX . With dearest love . Angie <3 . -
wow ir eally like this u worded it amazingly and yeah whatever dont kill you only makes u stronger....hmmn i love pain.keep it up with the good work, keep smiling for the camera and keep on keepin' on....b3l
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aww ty, yes, ppl like to try and take advantage of b/c im a really nice person. Well this songs just something to say, u can hurrt me but itll only make me the stronger one in the end!
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Wow I absolutly love this. When I read it it just reminded me so much of m anger against people who have beat me. Your a amazing keep up the great work.
Love always with a black rose and a bloody tear
BloodySiren
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