Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Silver Tears

I walk down the path to the waterfall, enjoying the silence. I love bathing here. I came here very often for that reason. I love the feeling of the water running over my body. I can't wait to get there and feel the sweet massage of the many droplets of water that fall over the rocks.

As I continue walking, I start to hear the water and I smile. I walk at a faster pace to get there as soon as I can. When I get there, however, I think my heart stops until I feel it beating hard within my chest.

There, under the waterfall, is a man. I can tell that he is either a Dragon, a Dragonoid, half human and half dragon, or possibly just in his Dragonoid form because of his metallic blue and silver wings. He is naked and I feel my cheeks grow hot. His silver hair falls down his back and over his biceps. It gleams in the sunlight, as does the beads of water covering his body.

I realize that this is the Dragon from my dreams and I am in awe. He is in his Dragonoid form, looking to be half Human and half Dragon, but really just not in his true form. For many moments, I cannot will myself to move. However, I do not want to let this handsome, not to \mention\ absolutely sexy enough to take my \breath\ away, Dragon leave me again.

I quickly undress myself and wade into the water quietly. I creep up to him, wondering if he knows I am there and hoping with all of my heart that he will not reject me. I stand behind him, about an inch from touching his body with mine, wondering if he will fade from existence if I try to encircle his waist with my arms.

As I stand there, wondering what to do, he turns around and looks down at me. I am frozen stiff in that moment, though I want so much to hold him.

We continue to look at one another for a while, as if we are in a wonderful dream that might end as soon as we try to touch the other. Eventually, however, he smiles at me. What I feel from that simple gesture is enough to make my eyes well with tears, but I smile back. I feel so warm.

When I hear his voice, I practically melt. 'I have seen you in my dreams. I did not think you were real.'

I have to take a few minutes to catch my breath before I am able to speak. My control is extremely lacking. 'As have I,' I finally say.

He merely smiles at me and takes my hands into his. They feel warm and my heart is doing flips. He pulls me closer to him and I blush from mixed emotions. I am so much in love with this Dragon, I want to give myself to him then and there.

He runs his hands up my arms and over my shoulders, then down my back and I encircle his neck. Our flesh touches sensually and I think I am going to melt and become a part of the water around us just from the sweetness of it.

He raises a hand and strokes my cheek. 'If we have dreamt of one another, then we already know each other's name.'

I nod wordlessly, looking into his dual colored eyes. I get lost in this moment. Nothing else matters. I take the opportunity to touch his face as he had touched mine. His skin is so smooth.

As we touch one another, he raises my chin and bends down to kiss me. I feel such a sense of joy as I close my eyes in anticipation. I imagine how soft and wonderful his lips will feel against mine...

I open my eyes to a night sky, speckled with silver stars. I sit up and look around frantically. My eyes start to sting.

He is not here. It had been yet another dream.

I feel the hot tears fall down my face. I feel the night air cool them.

I lay back down, looking at the stars. When will my wish come true? Or will it ever? I want to meet the Dragon of my dreams. I need to. I love him.

Author notes


Written September 14th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25
  • Uhm'...

    I accidently clicked on this, when I was looking through some of your lists? Yeah. BUT, I'm not one to, like, read and not comment... not when it comes to friends, at least.

    I thought this could be about Shar, but I wasn't sure... 'cause... I don't recall when I first introduced him to you? Rofl. So, yeaah.

    Butbutbutbut, this is wonderfully written, hon. There were a few verb tense issues, but people have pointed them out, nd it's been four years, so I know you ... uhh' ... know better now? I dunno' if that's the right way to say it or not. ._.

    ...nd my "aaa" keyyy.. is pissing me off. >/

    Yay.

    • Lmfaoooo. This isn't about Shar, hon'...I do believe I wrote this before we started speaking. X3

      Buuuut thank you for the lovely comment, made me smile....

      AND....OMG BEST PICTURE OF YOU ARE ALYSSA EVER!!!!


  • DeeplyFallen2010
    November 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very Enjoyable piece.. very descriptive I like it a lot... great write!

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    June 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It's sometimes hard to write in different tenses. Thank you for commenting and pointing it out. Good luck with judging.
  • Eleika
    June 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this piece. Very sensual, very descriptive. I agree, this is definitely "painting" description in the truest sense; I felt as if I was actually there.

    I did notice a few accidental tense changes, such as in the last paragraph:

    "I lay back down, looking at the stars. When would my wish come true? Or would it ever? I want to meet the Dragon of my dreams. I need to. I love him."

    You write in the present tense, for the most part. So it would be "When WILL my wish come true? Or WILL it ever?" Just make sure to keep an eye out for that. Otherwise, a well-written story.

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    May 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for commenting, and yes, they did meet up in the other story, though their backgrounds are pretty much completely different in it. I'm glad you liked this. Good luck with judging.

  • antique
    May 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    very nicely done .. i enjoyed reading this piece .. i hope she met up with him in your other story that you've mentioned in the comments here .. thanks for entering and i wish you the best of luck in the contest .. keep the ink flowing

    ~Aimee

  • zt
    March 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You painted your scenes well in this. You had a lot of description and good detail work for such a short story. One thing that stood out for me in this was the repeated use of “I”. Pronouns are good to use when necessary, but can be easily overdone. This was told in first person, past tense. I think it might have been stronger if you’d used present tense. First person can bring the reader into your story as if it was happening to them. Present tense makes the experience more immediate. One other thing to mention was sort of the relationship presented. I don’t know your target audience for this, so maybe they would totally grasp the concept from the get go. I have read a bit of fantasy in my time, but dragons are generally large reptilian creatures—hardly objects of desire. Since my experience will color my view of the story, it might behoove you to include a bit more about your two characters. I read this that you were human. I found it strange that you hungered for this dragonesque being. I understood that you dreamt of him, but what was the attraction? Tell me about the dragon’s seductive nature. Tell me why you wanted him, why he appeared humanoid, what were your hopes for a future with him. Watch for repetition too. P1S5 uses the same idea as P2S2. You’ve also repeated a lot of your words (e.g. silver, water, arms). Find different ways or different words to say the same thing. It really shows in short pieces like this. Your idea was well executed. It did keep me interested right to the end. The twist at the end was well timed. You had a good handle on the character development too. This was good stuff. I’ll have to check out some others of your work.

  • Twisted--Rose
    March 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow this was great. you conveyed your feelings well and it came across beautifully. good luck and well done!

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    February 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Aion, thank you for your comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

  • Aion
    February 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Such a beautiful story with so many different emotions beautifully written. Wonderful job!

  • lonelylover
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow im speakless this is amazing ur an amazing poet this is such a wonderful piece the imigary i got out of this was just wonderful ur r truly an amazing poet i just can't say it enough lol keep it up great write
    GBcauseJIS
    ~*beffers*~

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It was meant for the sad category. I'm glad you liked it.
  • Take My Breath Away
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow! this is a very good story. its kind of disapointing finding out that it was only a dream but it ws a very good write. keep writing. good luck in the contest.
    luv, kaylee

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    February 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    There is a story I have that is actually based on these two characters, though it doesn't follow this story. It's called Draconic Soulmates, in case you're interested. It's in a list on my bio page, so it should be easy to find. Thank you for commenting.
  • doxielove
    February 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    great write

    this is a very well written poem. It has alot of creativity in it. I'd like to read more of these stories. Make like a sequal or something and i'll read it.

  • Ghost of a Siren
    February 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very creative. Not what I would expect in a contest as this, but still very good. Thanks for entering and goodluck.

  • prettyangeleyes
    January 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    The imagery you portray in this story is awesome! I love how you capture the essence and innocence of one's dream. I have dreamt something like that many times before. Great job on it. I love your work and will read more very soon.
    much love
    heather
  • Cynical Melissa
    January 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a sad story and is a wonderful entry. I can understand this and it is very well written. Beautifully done, dear.

  • stardazer15
    January 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Wahho! Great!

    This is so sad but very nice, great job and it just well fabulous!

  • LiquidLullaby
    January 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my contest, this was a wonderful entry. Like those dreams where you wake up crying and you have crazy emotions flying all over the place. Yes, allrighty then! Thanks again!
    Love,
    Katy
    ~*LiquidLullaby*~

  • Everybody Lies
    November 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Its so sad! (but really good!) I wish I had a waterfall near me! Its really sweet, and it really produces beautiful pictures!
    -Keep Writing-
    ~Badger~

  • October 28, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow... I didnt know you entered this kontest. Good luck.

  • October 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Finally got around to reading this. This is so sweet in a way yet sad. It's the age old question portrayed in a fantasy world. When will my prince come and find me ... Awesome story my dear Thanks for entering

    *~Rosey~*

  • daZed and confuZed
    October 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow I loved this! It's so sad though. You have such a great way with imagery. Great job and good luck!
    ~Princess
1 - 25 of 25