When I got back, from there,
that night,
I couldn’t sleep…
I told you, “I love you”
but you didn’t respond…
Why not…?
Weren’t you there?
I thought I touched your shoulder…
Didn’t I…?
Was that not your voice, saying, “I love you”?
Is that you I see,
in the moonlight?
Was that not your hand,
that touched me?
What am I thinking?
Perhaps, when I sleep tonight,
I’ll wake in the morning,
and I’ll realize
the last few days
were nothing more,
than a horrible nightmare…
Sleep…
Come over me…
Let me finish this nightmare,
and you’ll be here…
Close eyes…
Sleep come…
Let me finish this nightmare,
so that I can wake in the morning,
and she’ll be here…
And the last few days,
are just that,
the most horrible nightmare,
anyone has ever had…
Sleep comes…
I think…
Is this a dream?
I love you…
Why don’t you respond?
Oh no,
is it morning already?
I feel for you in the bed…
Where are you?
Did you wake before me?
Yes,
that’s it,
you’re out making coffee…
Let me go look…
“Honey, where are you?
Oh yeah,
you went into work last night…
But…
Why don’t I remember that though...?
What’s this?
Flowers?
I don’t remember buying you flowers,
especially this fresh…
Where did they come from…?
Oh, there’s a card…
Maybe that’ll remind me…
What’s this on the card?
NO…
OH, NO…
The card says…
NO…
PLEASE…
It’s not possible…
You’re here…
You’re just at work…
Right…?
The card says:
“In sympathy…
” NO….
PLEASE NO…
It can’t be….
These last few days,
were nothing more than a nightmare…
RIGHT?
OH MY GOD….
NO…
They were…
Weren’t they?
SLEEP…
COME BACK TO ME…
Nightmare,
come back…
Let her be here,
when I wake…
Suddenly, the phone rings…
Is it you?
A woman’s voice says…
“You’re back”,
but it’s not your voice…
“Can I do anything for you?
I’m so sorry…”
Oh my GOD…
NO…
It can’t be…
It can’t be true…
But it is…
NO… NO… NO…
She’ll be here in a few minutes…
There’s a knock on the door…
Why did you knock?
You live here…
That’s it, you forgot your key…
But, it’s a friend of ours…
It’s not you…
Please don’t make me open the door…
Because…
If I do…
It can only mean…
One of two things…
Either the two of us shared
the same nightmare…
Or…
NO…
Please NO…
That’s not possible…
What’s that forlorn look on her face?
That means…
OH MY GOD…
NO…
PLEASE NO…
If that’s not possible…
Then that means…
NO…
NO…
That means…
That horrible nightmare,
was no nightmare…
The memory…
The memory…
Is…
Real…
OH MY GOD… NO… NO…
PLEASE… NO…
It’s real…
My wife…
DIED…
IN…
MY…
ARMS…
© Jonathan Wikkins October 14th, 2001
Revised February 6, 2008
All Rights Reserved
Author notes
honestly, I don't know if this is a true memory, or a representation of how I felt... there's so little memory of those days...
Written October 14th, 2001
primarily my style is free style,
i pretty much write what the muse gives...
and write from my heart...
I feel, I love, so I live
In a list
A contest entry
- I need you to make me cry and send tears from my eyes!!! Click for details! by Tetsuka.
300 points, ended September 28, 2004, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In loving memory of.............. by my1lovewearsdiapers.
350 points, ended January 25, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Personal Best #8 (Prewrites Allowed) by aGent Lemon.
360 points, ended February 6, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come along AP Poets, Time to Win!! by Hebz.
525 points, ended March 17, 2008, 84 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sapphire's Saga by Sensual Sapphire.
3530 points, ended April 3, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 67 of 67
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WOW, so nicely put
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
Commentary
Try again -
Yo man Thats intense. Do you really not remember if thats true or not, i mean thats really bad memory loss. I lost an uncle a little while ago, sucked. I didn't like the write that much at first but it made me think a lot and proved itself to be a very thought provoking piece.
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Blah...had I of known this is what I was going to read I'd not have clicked...oi...what to say..my mother passed very recently...I am still trying to come to terms with it...most days I fool myself by pretending it's not happened...refuse to think about it..but I know I must heal...I am currently attempting my own write up of the feelings..but this...god is this how dad feels/felt...it's got to be...45 yrs married...I ache just thinking about this piece...putting dad in it's place...he's not one for sharing his feelings...the tears are a clear indication..but the words...god if he were to speak them I think I'd break down even more...this piece hits too close to home...I'm sorry for the pain...the heartache..the loss..that inspired this...*wipes her tears*..ugh..death..so damn hard to deal with...oh...just for the sake of needing to say it...I'd suggest changing the color...the yellow on white kills the eyes..had to highlight the piece to read it without going blind *smiles*..a hug from someone who can relate a little too much to the pain right now
may your pain ease a little more each day..may the nightmare ease it's grip..and allow you to move a bit more free among those still here needing your love and compassion..
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Nice
Very nice a little long but I'll accept it in the contest good luck!!! ^^ -
Good luck in the contest!
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wonderful poem...shows all the confusiion, denial and anger that follows the death of a loved one. thanks for sharing. blessed be.
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Hugs my friend..for your pain...and for your healing.. Ihope.
I so ache for you...
Mary Ann -
I remember reading this and being so choked up I never commented. Now I know that that is not fair to the poet, so I force myself.
Here I am. Know I read it before but was at a loss, so emotional was I.
Sarah! -
How extremely powerful. How extremely sad. Tears are streaming down my face. You pull in the reader to share in your pain, this is sad...
Carrie -
I love this way that you wrote this but this poem is just to sad to say anything, for there are no words to get to so much pain that isin this write. thank for shareing
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don't touch it!
omgs jonathan... i cant begin to imagine the pain you experienced... am so sorry.
huge hugs,
xxx -
don't touch it!
wow.....thats some powerful shit -
excellent
okay, you made me cry. are you happy now?? no, no...wow. i am sooo sorry for your loss. amazing write. sooo full of raw emotion. wonderful. -
neutral
wow, emotional. I noticed that you and Nick have a seriously similar style, or at least I think so. I also noticed that you both are amazing poets. I wish this had never have happened to you or nick.
*-*bridget*-* -
neutral
this poem is so sad. it makes me want to cry. i don't know u, but i wish that i could be there to hold u. -
it still brings tears to my eyes, and it's almost been 2 years..
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neutral
just read this again wow it still brings tears to my eyes
love nick -
don't touch it!
Wow-I can't think of much else to say but wow! I have to admit this brought tears to my eyes and I began to cry like a baby. Amazing imagry, I can almost see the look on your face. Amazing poem -
I had chills just run down the back of my neck and arms. THis was an awesome piece. THis really brings tears to my eyes. How sad. This would have to be a hard thing to face. Oh wow, this was wonderfully done,
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I am not sure how many times i've read this poem and everytime it gets to me, it is totaly brilliant. i know what it's like to have someone taken away from you, butloving again can be so amazing trust me i've lost and loved again...i love your son with all my heart!!
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Brilliant...there is little else I can say...
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i'm back on line, about to post! thanks san-d... more healing and other poetry on the way...
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A beautiful write....Sad but beautiful.I'm so sorry for your loss..I'm hoping that you are on the road to healing and know that she would want you to go on with life. She smiles down upon you and is proud of your tributes to her....Smiles your way :o)>>>Sandy/San-d
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This is so nice! Good work
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this poem is now been published on seekermagazine.com check it out!
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crap! it took me 3 minutes to find the bottom!!! LOL
this is a yruley great poem whonrock,love it -
There are no words...I am so sorry...and what a wonderfully written piece.
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Hey daddy I just got done reading your poem an its wow and i would feel the same if i woke up one morning and Stacyi wasnt there to greet me. Thanks for letting me realize for what i would feel if that ever happend to me. Nick
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the day these very events seem to have happened is coming up very soon... i don't have much true memory of this, but it seems to have happened, i don't have much memory for most of the month of nov, 2000
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so sad and moving
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Maybe it's just my mentality, but it would seem strange in my own mind to say that this is wonderful...I mean, the actual piece of work is...but the subject matter is extremely saddening...I can't imagine how it must be having to wake up to that. It's not quite the same but I had similar problems when my father had a heart-attack...i'd spent all day around him, I was exhausted and when I awoke, it was over an hour before it dawned on me that the reason he wasn't there was because he was lying in a hospital bed...I was totally devastated. I can only imagine how THIS must be taken over a period of time...
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Maybe this is mean, but this seems sort of Hollywood, with all this tremendous buildup for a rather sappy and 'conventially sad' ending. However, you did keep me guessing and I was wondering what happened, but you drag it out to long. The last line should not be so drawn out, but short and concise, like you're finally admitting it to yourself.
Just some thoughts. -
Wow! Very powerful!
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No words can convey the depth of feeling instilled by this remarkable expression. I join the long list of fellow readers moved to tears by your words.
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after reading the poem and the comments I only have one very simple thing to say -- incredible -- which is a very rare thing for me to say -- My condolences on your loss -- and then to put it so eloquently is magic in the truest sense of the word -- in the end it leaves me with just one word -- incredible
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Anything less than five stars is unacceptable. My sympathies. Damn. Don't make me cry.
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the one year anniversary of this very morning is coming up, nov 13...
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I don't know that there is anything I can say that hasn't already been said.... My tears were falling my the end of your piece.... A stunning piece of writing... Well Done... Karen
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this is a very good poem and i like the way it's setup.
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Whenrock, I was with you in every stanza, I've experienced the same disbelief when reading the syphathy cards on the flowers and feeling that a mistake has been made.. I grieve for your loss.
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It is very natural and imaginative!
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The poem is very dramatic! I visualise the entire scene as if it is happening to me just now! really imaginative and reality reflected very much!
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Oh MY GOD!! i had chills reading this.. such powerful emotion.... i dont know what else to say....... Phew!
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yes, this is the very poem, refered to in 'Time Will Tell'
so that you'll all know.... it is now 6 pm mountain time, friday oct 19, this poem was borne, at 2 pm last sunday afternoon, oct 14, 2001, and posted shortly afterwards... i have just recieved notification, that this piece will be published on Dalhousie Review www.dal.ca/~dalrev, and artvilla.com in the near future...
i am totally humbled by all the comments and reviews you all have made... i wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart -
Very good. This hit me really hard. I guess there isn't a lot left to say after 19 comments have been made, but I still really liked this so I decided to comment.
MB -
questions asked whose answers we vaguely know are to be dread but not sure exactly why!your free-flowing style is very unique & engrossing...almost like prose but poetic in its thought.
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so very sad, I dont know what I would do if anything happend to my soul mate..thank you for sharing such a beautifully written sad poem.. peg
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Mike... Come here, as one man to another, let me embrace you in brotherly love. This is one fantastic write! And very brave of you to share it with us.
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Your words have touched me to the core.
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I dont know what to say... it made me cry.. seriously.. It just brings back to many memories of death.. not through marriage of course, but just death in general.. its wonderful
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wow. what else is there to say about this poem? this is my favorite one of your's i've read so far. fortunately, i've never had to go through losing someone that close to me, but i could still feel some of the emotions that you felt when you wrote this. this poem is so powerful, and beautifully written. thanks for sharing it. i loved it, and again, i'm sorry for your loss, but i'm sure she's still with you even if it's not in the physical sense.
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That was an incredible poem. You wrote so beautifully. I'm so sorry for your loss...it's so sad. I'm glad you shared this piece with us. =)
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This is so sad! And to actually feel like that! I know how it feels to lose a loved one. It's heart-wrenching! The emotions were so wonderfully expressed, I wanted to cry! Well done! Thank you for sharing
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Wow amazing poem, it has such feeling i can picture myself there. I am soo sorry for your loss. It is beautiful how you can write about it with such feeling and emotion it it wonderful.
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Impressive. I lack the words to express the feelings that this work conjured up in my soul. God bless.
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What an amazing write......I am so sorry for your sadness and your loss..but you have expressed the emotions so wonderfully well.I am in tears .......This is so very sad.but beautiful too.....thankyou for sharing it with us all.
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Wow! I loved this. Through pain sometimes our greatest creations.
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My feelings most closely mirror those of Antmonkey.
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Oh my god whonrock...I'm so so so sorry.....this is a truly sad, sad poem it nearly brought me to tears...
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Whonrock,
This is full of powerful emotion and it is great work. For this you deserve the greatest honor if anything as a small element of healing your pain. You conveyed this message well. I know someday someone close we will lose and we will hurt, but the soul mate? I don't know how or if, the other could survive. I'd cringe to contemplate such an agonizing misery to myself. I hope later on, I can expect to see some positive poetry from you:) I know it's hard to shake it, because your heart was brokened so bad, but you've got to remember the good times to give your spirit renewal for survival. I wish you my best. Great poem! Tommy -
So sad.Sorry for your loss.Beautifully written.Thank you.
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a note from me...
this is.....true -
I was touched by the emotion shown here and the way the story unfolded as I read. So sad but there many people from the recent Sept 11 tragedy had feeling like this.. so sad..such a waste.thank you for writing this
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This is *excuse language* FUCKING amazing. There is so much emotion in your words, you are exceptoionally talented, and Im not just saying that because its a sad poem. This poem is superb.
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I knew the outcome halfway through and my eyes became tearfilled!
So very sad! You did an excellent job telling this story, I just hope it is not true for you. -
Oh man..this is sad.. I'm so sorry for you to witness such a thing.. yet the poetry shows a story in my mind when I read it.You did excellent at telling the story keep up the great work!
*~IceRose~*
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