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Preponderance


 


Could I?
Should I?
Wanna.
Can’t !

Gonna.
Gotta.
Shouldn’t.
Shan’t!

For though this urge
compels a write
to still the musings
in my night,
the sense of it,
my true intent,
may not read
as I had meant.
Oh damn that itch!
Uh-oh …
It’s sent!

Will he?
Won’t he?
Wanna read?
I tremble at
my lawless deed.
In agony,
through hours I wait,
for bits and bytes
now hold my fate.

Does he?
Don’t we?
HURRY!

“Soon.”

I read his word
and justly swoon;
and then I type in
simply …

“When?”

and start to ponder
yet again.

Could I?
Should I?
Wanna.
Can’t!
Gonna.
Gotta.
Shouldn't.
Shan't!

Author notes

This works best when read aloud - quickly.

or at least, I think it does.  lol
Written September 12th, 2004

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Jonathan ROBIN
    September 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Deserving deeper attention

    ...the sense of it, my true intent,
    may not read as I had meant........


    presupposing one always knew what one meant when one wrote and that the initial meaning remains constant ..LOL

  • oneluckygirl
    September 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Laughing as that is exactly the feeling I had. A burning desire to know, standing in a state of frozen fear.

  • Jade Darklinmoon
    September 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    i truly love how you wrote this poem. It is almost like someone is standing there wondering should i would i can i???? asking all these what if questions and not doing anything to come up with answer. it is wonderful!


  • pastiche
    September 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Ho ho ho - riot of a write.......
    Well....did you pop THE question?
    lolololol

    Best,
    p

  • funky-mojo
    September 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    LOL.... Baby, you do this too well. Tell me the name of your book and I'll buy it. Your style is captivating. Not only are you oneluckygirl you're onespecialgirl and a brilliant writer.


  • Yusefeligirl
    September 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hello again,
    I've been wondering all night about this... did you pop THE question??


  • silica silver member
    September 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    It worked pretty well reading it slowly in my head as well!
    Gotta get a better grip… all those doubts make fingers slip, and holding on when you are falling – is some rather tall of ordering. Another of those laws that shows the universe is unjust… that those with the self-confidence can do it easily where as the more deserving, doubtful fail – ‘The rain it raineth on the just, and on the unjust fella – but more upon the just because, the unjust has the just’s umbrella…’ Ogden Nash.


  • Yusefeligirl
    September 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    "Are you never satisfied?"
    Comes the poor mans terse reply,
    "No, my love, when you're around
    My womanly urges will abound."
    "So shall we do it, whatdya say?"
    "Alright my dear... just not today!"

    I Like this one! lots!
    Kyla XX


  • cubert
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    absolute brilliance. it was better reading aloud, but great regardles. damn you do this shit well. and i know it's supposed to be about you, but get out of my head! lol


  • artis
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    a great pondering, wandering and squandering options until it simply settles down around the very idea of pondering no more and coresponding with another to bring on a perpoderance of hopefully good news to ponder again...love it~~~~~~Artis


  • Angel Dreams
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    very amusing! i truly enjoyed this one! you made my night! thank you for sharing!

    angel


  • onerios13
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...very amusing little piece, found it to be vastly entertaining and rather impressive. I liked that anticipation wrapped in each line and since I've been at the end of that particular line a time or two, thought you captured that moment perfectly. Great job!

  • BeCaUsEoFyOu
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    Awesome. You are right. It is better read out loud and fast! It flows very well and in my mind is really a great write. Keep up the good work and have a good day!

  • MaybeOkay
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I have a poem that sounds better when read aloud for similar reasons to why you say your poem sounds better aloud. Haha! Anyways, great write! I really like it! It's very cool, and I hate having to question myself because I'm nervous or something... we've all been there, it's that you wrote very wonderfully about it! Keep up the great work and have a wonderful day!


  • leo2
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Extremely creative and such a joy to read. I know the feeling of waiting on that 'special' message.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    o this is great.
    love the title, love the wordplay, love the theme
    love everything aobut this one.
    i know exactly where your head was at when you wrote this.
    excellent excellent work.
    bravo


  • Emily5266
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hey i really like this...i really like how you laid it all out..very well done!! keep writing ill have to read more of your stuff!!

    Emily

1 - 17 of 17