and the pain came with images
and sounds
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his eyes
piercing deeply
while he moved
(oh so slowly)
his lips
(softly)
breathing my name
later
his steady heartbeat
playing a rhythm on my back
arm draped over my waist
as i lay
drifting in early morning sunshine
-
blue skies lift my spirits for a while
his face colouring my daydreams
yet still
dark nights always play companion
to useless tears
addicted to him
i crave my next fix
a way to
exhale the loneliness
-
Author notes
um. yeah.
Written September 9th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Excellant
Exquisite poem. -
Sorry, but I remember the first poem of yours I read to...I think it was called 'Footprints In The Snow'...Somthing like that, I have read it over a few times...It still one of my favorites..
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Beautiful poem.. I haven't read one of your pieces in awhile, but I'm never dissappointed when I do.. I actually think you were the first person on my favorites list when I joined this sit a few years ago....You are talented..Thank you for sharing..
Shattered Remains
R13O13 -
"Dark nights always play companion to useless tears"
I always like the moment I find in your poems. That line seems simple by itself but comes with the strength of truth (personal experience and repetition). You've punched me in the gut again, but I'm a glutton for punishment.
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"a way to exhale the lonliness"
that lines feels so powerful to me...maybe that's not the right word... powerful and wishful?? God, i wish i could exhale lonliness. those are the perfect words for what i wish right now.
i applaud this because of your style and choice of words, because of the way i followed each line with moving pictures in my mind and because of the last line. -
very powerful emotions here...nice piece....the only suggestion i would offer for improvment is perhaps a different colour font or background, my old eyes had trouble with this choice.
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The black letters are a little hard to read on the purple background, but otherwise...wow. I've been missing your poetry, and haven't read it in a while, so I think I have some reading to do...
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Um a bit more than yeah, this has the resonance of a 'love' poem yet, I keep hearing a sort of melancholy vibration to it, it is as if, there is more to him being there than you, whilst I wouldn't say 'used' is there a case of a need for company rather than a want?
Jules -
great job
i like very good... but the only problem is that the words are in blck and so is the background so you have to highlight it to read it.. katie
1 - 9 of 9






4 old applause
