Oh for a place of solitude!
A little house in the Karoo
A place far from the multitude
Known only to a chosen few.
Not just a house but more a home
a place of bare simplicity
These humble rooms to me become
havens of true felicity.
A bedroom with a single bed,
A kitchen, bathroom and a loo;
And all around it vastly spread
The land in one unbroken view
Not of green fields or rolling hills
Nor of thick growth or stately trees
No picturesque lake the landscape fills;
Far humbler is the sight one sees.
Upon a flat, sun-scorched plateau
Merino's graze on Karoo bush;
which on the plains of Camdeboo
o'erspread the earth in numbers lush.
This hardened bush seems to survive
In this most dry environment;
To herds and flocks a source of life -
provision God in mercy sent.
The frost freezes, the sun scorches,
'mongst dying shrubs new shoots are seen;
Despite of nature's harsh forces
Life still prevails in every scene.
Some plants adapted over time
Their roots anchored deep in the ground,
Where it absorb whate'er the clime
The water from the underground .
A carpet of exquisite grade,
brings colour to these arid plains,
of vygies and of pomgrenade
After some rare showers of rains.
For at it's heart the Great Karoo
Is to the ones who know it well,
Half-dessert yet half-eden too -
A contrast adding to its spell.
Author notes
Karoo - a semi-dessert area in my country (South Africa)
Camdeboo - a region in the Karoo
Merino - a breed of sheep commonly found in the Karoo
Written September 7th, 2004
A contest entry
- Beauty by Angelica Rose.
301 points, ended September 23, 2004, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write on a country town. Winklings & Friends # 89 by Lyndon.
3500 points, ended June 23, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Thank you.
I decided to send you a punctuated version showing one thing: consistency. One cannot half-punctuate, I do not think.
OF COURSE IT PAYS TO GLANCE AT SPECIFICATIONS, AS PAMELA HAS SAID.
Most countries like Australia, Africa and USA have this kind of longing among long-time settler-families for known solitary places that are in the bush but loved. Your poem taps into this patriotic genre personally.
You begin Romantically in the true sense of the word. I truly think men are the Romantics moreso than women who are more practical in outlook. I mean Wordsworth wrote Romantic poetry but Shelley's wife wrote about the Frankenstein monster.
You have done well to keep your abab alternating rhyme pattern going.
About line end punctuation - in a traditional poem (such as this one) if you do not punctuate regularly, enjambment is not obvious when it comes along.
These lines do not run on:
"Not just a house but more a home
a place of bare simplicity"but these do:
"These humble rooms to me become
havens of true felicity."I have attended to many small slips and you will pick these up.
You have given all who have not travelled through South Africa, a taste of the land and an understanding of its treasures and vicissitudes.
I do thank you for this lovely poem.
PS Consider joining the Winklings! IM Lyndon.
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Beautifully crafted. Had this not gone over the 25 line limit in the contest specs it would be a grand contender. Excllent rhyme and flow. I simply fell in love with this poem, and contest or no contest, I would not change a thing.
The contest matters not for this piece. Truly poetry at its finest. Bravo! ~Pamela
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Hello!
Lovely poem. For a full critique, send me the link to this poem. Lyndon.
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We seem to have something
in common. I still maintain that the best braaivleis [barbeque] is made from 'boepens tjops' [cutlets]. You can smell the 'herby' grass when you lick your fingers, and wipe the fat from your lips [all with the back of the hand]. Ah, I forgot. This is about the poem. I enjoyed its flow and the rhyme is unforced, allowing for an enoyable read. Sterkte. Frans
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A Wonderful Poem
This was a terrific poem. It was a pleasure to read. Wonderful imagary and the flow was great too. Take care, Sandy Best of luck in the contest. -
excellent
Brad this is great as always. A story and a wonderful read. -
Well I've written it a while back and it sort of gathered a bit of digital dust on my palmtop until yesterday. (I write all my poems on my ever-present little palmtop. There are numerous little unfinished pieces scattered all over its digital desktop!). I just added a few finishing touches and voila! Another piece ready to publish...
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^.^ Adorable! I love it! Vivid pictures in my mind, and the rhyme and rhythm are exquisite! Wonderful job, and keep it up. Best of luck in the contest!
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Excellent
Awesomely awesome poem. Good vocabulary. Very good job on how you wrote it and the meaning. It is also deep! Excellent job on it. It seems as if you worked hard on it. -
A man after my own heart. If there is anything I place a high value on now it's solitude. If you can't get time alone to hear your own thoughts and get acquainted with the mystery of your own being then what good can you possibly be to yourself or others? In fact I think that's one thing that's wrong with too many people. They don't know who they are so they spend too much time running into each other as they try to figure it out the wrong ways.
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Ahhh it's all in the perspcetive
You described this place so beautifully... I'd really love to go see it This poem is really amazing!!
~Amy
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Such a nice compliment to your country. I could feel all the textures and places you described as if I were there. It was an intriguing read and well-written.
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I liked the feeling of peaceful content in this poem...though I couldn't fine that kind of lovely solitude in a desert, personally. I loved how you brought me to a place I could only imagine while reading this (which I always enjoy as since I've never left my home state of Texas- pathetic
!)
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wow really good, I thought I was there it must of been beautiful there eh?
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Wow, nice use of unusual words...I was confused at first, but then I read the author's comment...I really liked reading this poem! A place of solitude is awlays a nice place to have...just place to yourself, that no one else knows about. A kind of personal sanctuary. Wonderful.
~EL d
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