the morning mist swirling
shrouding dawn's glow
shimmering quivering glory
like spring waters crystal flow
gathering, drifting
and deliciously wet
as upon my young face
it's kiss lost, bereft
and my eyes in the wonder
of a sight to behold
like a flower blooming perfect
in this spring-morning's cold
on the ground in the frost
a steaming pile lay
all covered in yellow, a golden display
of life born anew
as a manger long past
this amazing small lamb
shivering with no mum, aghast
while the world slowly lightened
glowing mist hidden sun
like a halo of hope
around it had come
and, as I trudged forward
towards this solemn sight
shadows of darkness gathering, gave me some fright
then the most beautiful thing
a gift given to few
of life and the way, create faith
not eschewed
for around this small pile
of golden steam and despair
four large cows moved forward
as if from thin air
and in the glow of creation's
mist hidden morn
they surrounded this lamb
their breath gusting warm
as each in turn bowed, to this life new in form
and began to lick clean
release free from births storm
and their great tongues so pink
ever gentle they licked
and cleaned this young sentient, life on the brink
and the picture so stark, burnt etched in my mind
as a tiny bleat of life
called out as a sign
and this image of light, and the beauty of hope
forever lives on
in minds sight
of this bloke.
Author notes
bArNyArD
Written September 6th, 2004
A contest entry
- Tributes to Farm Critters by sinister sweetheart.
300 points, ended December 10, 2004, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Aww this was absolutly cute! I love this and thanks for entering. This was really touching and I enjoyed reading it.
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thanks for the great comment on "hidden glory"
i just saw this comment you left . .
hope all is well on the run to christmas . .cold in the winter over there i presume . .hot and sweaty here in queensland ozland
. .lol. .summer with vengeance . .
keep smiling
mike
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thanks healing . .each time i read i go to change and edit . .but realise i would do that everytime i re-read most of my stuff . . lol. . i hope you felt what i tried to give you from that sight so long ago
mike -
thank you
i had carried that vision all my life and finally found a moment when my pen tried to do a bit justice to the wonderful feeling that moment gave to me
hu ruu
mike
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thanks chained fury . . after writing it is hard to make edit to shorten sometimes . . then i remind why i write . for myself, something thats need letting out . some pieces overly longwinded . . i have some 4 liners . . this was just long enough for me to feel i had described what i felt in my heart .. lol. . i think i colud have bumbled for pages tring to evoke how i felt when i witnessed this scene when i was a boy . .not that i am not still a boy trhat is . .
cheers . .like your light bright
mike
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smiles . .thanks jedijazz . . neat name
thanks for the great comment
mike
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thanks myron . . spontaneous is how i work . .i have no plan other than a feeeling . .sometimes i see something which gives a word to a sight and away i go which is why i can ranble along so . . lol but out of the lines of words . . my hope is to give you something . .if only "one" thing out of the experience of reading . .thanks for your doing this
mike
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spontaneous
yes this poem does strive to be overtly uplifting and spiritual and achieves its ambition...some of the rhymes give it an overall lighthearted feel, as i catch myself smiling along to the rhythms of this long, spontaneous poem. -
say what
I am just in awe after reading this, wow, good job. yeppers -
This poem was excellent. The way it flowed worked so well. I really enjoyed the opening because it was so warming, welcoming, and all that other stuff in between. You did a heck of a job with this piece and it's incredibly longer than anything I would have written. Keep up the great work!
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Oh my Goodness, this is just simply beautiful!! No other way to put it, just BEAUTIFUL! Wonderful Job!
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Perfect flow here. I had a feeling of hope and light when reading this. I like the word choice and the imagery. Great job!
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Mike, this is truly inspiring to read! The awesome content and wondrous story you've told is equaled only by those beautiful words selected to tell it! The opening descriptions in the first several lines of mists and early morn just set the scene, and whether intentional or not, they are metaphoric as a new beginning, a new life being brought about. It's always, always a pleasure to read your works, my friend! Best to you in the contest -- and in all things
~~Quasar~~
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someone once said "in order to receive you must first give" ? . . something like that . . lol. . cheers
mike -
thanks elisabeth
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I agree - this is an intense and beautiful write there is so much imagery to contemplate! a wonderful write and the best of luck in the contestxxx
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This was a beautiful piece. The imagery was great and the flow and format of the poem was excellent. You did a great job and I hope you do well in the contest. Awesome job.
Elisabeth -
chukles . .yes bloke is very new zealand australian of me . . smiles . . thanks for th4e great comment
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SUPERB
What an amazing experience. I could see the whole story happen. Introducing the cows as "dark shadows" compelled me to keep reading. You have a great talent for dramatic development. Some of the rhyming lines seemed slightly unbalanced but that didn't matter much to me because the story is told so well with such great imagery.
Thanks for sharing this transcendant experience. I'm sure I won't forget it. Great work.
Mark -
Such wonderful imagery... I loved it all... but the very last line really threw me. Could be that American in me... lol bloke seems so alien somehow.
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this is very beautiful! the poem in itself was beautiful with the flow of the words and the rhyming... the decriptions paint a picture that is amazingly beautiful. I really liked your references to nature.. i have to salute you on this you did a remarkable job of descibing this natural beauty.you have some great lines in this piece..."the halo of hope" Great job and keep up the good work!
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i have to book mark this one. you out did yourself here. i am stunned. your poem is so clear in images that this scene is burned into my mind too. nature, animals, are so amazing and we can learn so much from them. just observing them as they live life one day at a time. this picture will stay with me for some time i am sure. it is breathtaking. my favorite of your works so far.
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smiles . .thanks . . it was an amazing sight and this will help me hold it for another 30 odd years . some things so simple make such a change
mike -
you have some great lines in this piece...I love "the halo of hope" should be a strong entry for the gold...
freda
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Wonderful! I love the subtlety of the rhyme, how it's not perfectly rhythmic, and there's no absolute pattern, every now and then, it's there. Also, I recieved two images. The first being a baby animal being born on a cold morning. Gorgeous image in itself. The next is the Christ child. I don't know if you are Christian, or Jewish, or Muslim, or Pagan, but the metaphore of the lamb, being born in the way you described, was a perfect one for the Christmas story, and again, it was subtle. Great work, and good luck!
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this is very beautiful! the poem in itself was beautiful with the flow of the words and the rhyming... the decriptions and the word with which you described this account were also amasingly beautiful. I really liked your references to nature.. i LOVE nature when i read this contest i was hard put to find what i found to be most beautiful and write about it so instead i picked something(one) i was obsessed with.. that makes sence rite? but i have to salute you on this you did a remarkable job of descibing this natural beauty so to you i tip my hat * tips hat grasefully* my one and only sugestion would be to seporrate it into stanza's i had a little bit of a hard time reading this poem because i could not tell where you wanted the natural pauses placed and spaceing hleps with that a little bit (at least it helps me) you don't have to follow my advice i'm just telling you what was an obsical for me which took away from the exquist experiance of reading your poem!
good luck in the contest
your poison
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