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As free as wild Horses.



Pounding heart beats,
racing............

songs uplifting
surging............

Sitting, listening to all thats said;
With no more dread together,
preacher speaks, with loving
for all the congregation, lifting
upwards, spirits rise, never lying;
Forever trying to save me.

Prayers for people
hoping.................

Rhythm mounting
rising.................

Clapping hands
together............

Singing  songs of love for me;
Holding hands for all to see;
He wants me, to hold him in
my arms for ever more. Oh how
I need him now.

He lifts me up
beside him.........

He comforts me
with loving..........

He takes my soul, with wings of hope
and grants me peace, so I can float;
As free as  wild horses racing, throughout the realms of
heaven.

 

Author notes

Title was Taken from Autumn. The line as free as wild hoses I used to signify the freedom of choice as to regards beliefs.
Written September 6th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • cutiepie gold member
    September 18, 2004
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    Many thanks I am delighted that you enjoyed it


  • Everyones Dead
    September 18, 2004
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    Great job on this poem, and congrats on the trophey! I thought I wouldn't like this one much, mostly because of the title(I am an enemy of the whole horse/pony thing). But I was delightlfully surprised to find that this centered around much better things! Great work, keep it up!

    In Sadness and Strength,
    -Everyones Dead


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 13, 2004
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    Thank you so much for your kind words, they are appreciated


  • poetry within
    September 13, 2004
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    the title drew me into this poem,its very beautiful and uplifting, the last stanza is tunning and suhc a beautiful one it makes you smile and feel so loved. i just loved this poem wondeful job and good luck to youin the contest


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 12, 2004
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    Thank you Yes you are so right Many thanks, I have now adjusted a little


  • Zahhar gold member
    September 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    the final line:

    As free as all wild horse bolt, throughout the realms of
    heaven.

    can be improved quite a bit by making one small little change in the flow:

    As free as wild horses ride, throughout the realms of
    heaven.

    note the "ride" instead of "bolt". there are also words like "run" and "race".

    rabbits and dear "bolt", horses "race", "run", "thunder", "ride", "storm", etc. they're too mighty for little rabbit words like "bolt".

    other than this, i liked the flow of this piece. had a nice feeling to it.


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Lady E, I am glad you enjoyed it

  • LadyEvergreen
    September 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Well done!

    This will make a great song. I love the rhythem and the verses between each stanza. My favorite is: He comforts me with loving..... Very well done! Smiles: Lady E

  • cutiepie gold member
    September 7, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your kind words, I am glad you enjoyed the poem, I also loved the "Stones version" but I was thinking more on the lines of " Crazy Horses" ( cant remember who sang it)


  • Ashley Bright silver member
    September 7, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful beautiful beautiful!
    reminds me of that song
    "wild horses"
    of course i love rolling stones version
    but the sunday's version is nice too
    or mazzy starr
    this was wonderful cutiepie!
    (hug)

    ~~ashes~~

  • cutiepie gold member
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you I am glad you enjoyed this but please dont worry about the applause It is not necessary words mean more than applause and your words were unstinting in their applause, so I thank you


  • xthexrealxme
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Unbelievable

    That is the most refreshing and delightful poem that I've read all day. It makes me happy that someone has this...knowledge/belief of God and expresses it so well through imagery. I feel so bad now, I have no more "applauses" left...I'd give them all to you. WE NEED MORE THAN 3!!


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I applaude your common sense


  • September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is a very good write, I love the imagery and spiritualism that shines through. Yet I would have to say that wild horses to be truly wild run free not because but rather inspite of the devine love they feel. Part of being wild is finding your own way back home regardless of the acceptance of congragations. May love never be limited to the expectations of the masses. The essense of God is to create and to create is always an individual thing . Thanks for sharing but the wild never are led they lead .

  • cutiepie gold member
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you I have to be honest and own up, I attend Church for weddings and Funerals. I love how many religions allow people to sing in the churches and dance. This to me is a wonderful expression of love and devotion. Also I deplore the Hypocrisy of acting like a " God fearing person" in church and behaving like a "savage" in normal day living.This saddens me My belief is if I can behave like a kind caring person with generosity in my heart, I will be rewarded in kind

  • Nicole Hanna
    September 6, 2004
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    Even though I'm Wiccan, I've been to church on occassion and found myself enraptured by the passion and energy. Not necessarily the words, the preaching, the Biblical passages, but by the overall exhuberance of the congregation. That always got my blood pumping. Not to mention I now know all the lyrics on the Words of Worship CD's. lol. This poem evokes that kind of emotion. Good job.


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Pia I am glad you enjoyed this


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 6, 2004
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    You are very welcome

  • jaded angel
    September 6, 2004
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    AWESOMELY LYRICAL

    This is so lyrically sound..if only someone would put it to some music..it would be such an inspiring song!!!i love the last line , especially more after i read your author's comment.The idea of using "horses" was truly great.Although dolphins are adorable and in very much the same sense as horses, i think they signify more of grace , generosity , intelligence and good cheer more than freedom of choices. Hence i think using "horses" was a perfect choice.luved your poem. keep up the awesome work!! all the best for the contest. luv , pia.


  • nOva-
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    roxmysox

    that was breath taking! , i love how you symbolized a wild hoarse as one free to their own beliefs riding away to their destiny ...what a beautiful thought! thank you much for entering


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you It is very kind of you.

  • cutiepie gold member
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you I am pleased that this poem appealed to you.It is the first time I have really tried to write lyrics and I really didnt know quite how to do it I also love Dolphins, they are so serene and angel like in their fluid movements. Their intelligence amazes me


  • September 6, 2004
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    this was very good you did amazing job with this i hope you do well in the contest i think it really good !
    Pendragon

  • el desdichado
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    "He takes my soul, with wings of hope
    and grants me peace, so I can float;
    ..."

    That last stanza is just stunning. I love the idea there..."as free as wild horses"...hmmm, for some reason I always think of dolphins when I think of freedom and joy like that...I love dolphins. Very beautiful creatures. And horses, too! But I like the use of horses in here quite a bit...I mean, so many are being broken in, so many are just being used for our human benefit...not to say that there's anything wrong with that...but it's still nice to have animals just being animals. Undomesticated...just running where they want to. Loving the world. I love the sense of freedom in this poem. It just expands and fills me with this great sense of possibility. Such wonderful joy. Reading this poem was just a pure delight. Yes, that's the right word right there--pure...you just write what you feel. Keep doing that. ! ~EL d


  • cutiepie gold member
    September 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed it Your comments are always appreciated

  • Purplerose
    September 6, 2004
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    Great

    This is beautiful, really wonderful job! So pretty and refined. This was a really cool piece, I loved the concept, you painted a picture in my mind, brilliant! WOnderful job (as always ) cutiepie!!! I really love your poems!
    hugs
    Purplerose

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