halos drenched in silver twilight
fall from dying skies
aged and faded with time
the zenith now disillusioned
lustrous stars in disarray
the pale moon crumbling at my feet
breathless and mortified
the sun, somber
and enthralled in ashes
succumbs to decadence
deathly throes of time darken the horizon
and the atmosphere, so sullen
collapses before lonely stares
the aurora now rests in mournful quietude
it is the funeral of eternity
a celestial burial
darkness descends
and stains the skies with infamy
the scarred heavens scream out
but it is in vain
for destinys woeful veil drops
and all falls gravely still.
Author notes
um hi
Written September 4th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This is an incredible piece of work. A masterpiece, if you will. Once again the language that you use seduces the reader and when the poem is done, leaves them hungering for more. Its amazingly beautiful.
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This is worth reading again because of all the descriptive words you jam in. Then there is some sort of abstract concept out there about it that I couldn't quite get.
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very interesting...id have to read it over and over again to truly get it..but what i got thus far, i like....very well penned..enjoyed
~*~blu~*~ -
I liked it, didn't know how to take it tho so I will give it a shot. Okay reading it again sounds like the rapture. Is that it. anyway that is how I am going to take it. You did an awsome job on this I loved it. Maybe you will send out some seeds for people to plant. GOD BLESS YOU AND TAKE CARE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~LAURA~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Intense and dramatic. Your words have a strong impact. Keep writing!
Steve -
haunting, dark and absolutely gorgeous. Full of wonderful imagery... I love it!
~Raine~ -
I love the imagery this paints, the language is lovely. this put some very nice pictures in my head.
best wishes..
~ Lea -
Intensly Tragic
this piece is amazing
much respect
i've noticed we use alot of the same words as well.....
thanx for sharing -
Great
Its a really great poem, good working of words and the themes. It was a fansatic poem, I really really like it. Its great , really really great. Good work. -
I'm in love with your words. I want to sleep with them, and wrap them around me like a security blanket. Oooh.. this was truly spendtacular. The imagery alone ... you should enter it in a contest. Hell, I'll make a contest just so you can enter it. lol. Seriously, great write here.
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Wow, i have to agree with everyone. You have an amazing talent and a beautiful way with words. Great job. Thanks for sharing.
Elisabeth -
Well, this certainly met the criteria for 'disillusionment', lol. You really DO have a wonderful way with words, mostly targeting the emotional strings, and the intensity of the piece was very evident. So although the logical side of my brain is going 'huh?', the part that's really why I read poetry is going, ooh...that's cool! lol Great job!
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great
well to start off with, you have an awesome way with words, my dear. And secondly, the way you have penned this piece allows the reader to relate which is what alot of poets can only hope for, well done,
::bows::
Scarlet -
The imagery was fantastic and I love how u used such a large vocabulary to get the poem across. Amazingly well written. Great job
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wow this in so intense, and so well written- every word counts in this. Iam impressed with just how much you packed into this.
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wow...
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The imagery is fantastic, this is a beautiful and hauntingly vivid write!
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this was really awesom...it seems dark and somber...I like it a lot...keep up the awesom work
-katie
Edited on Sep 04, 8:08 p.m. because ''. -
The imagery in this is just overwhelming. There is nothing I can suggest to make this better, because it is perfect just the way it is. The last line brings a prefect sense of closure to the poem. Wow. Terrific job!
~Anastasia -
A very nice write, I must say. The imagery was... inescapable, and gripping. The flow was brisk and pulsing. A very impressice peice.
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wow - what a vivid image flows from the page. You’re definitely a tropics person. Thank you
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Great Write
Great write, I especially like from "it is the funeral of eternity" to the finish, but the whole was very enjoyable.
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