I am that visitor in your faded memory;
We’re threaded as ancient friends in braided memory.
Once, we strolled in talk on emerald hills;
They dried in drought, and have rarely bladed memory.
Together we work to weave this spanning tapestry;
Once more our gilded threads have aided memory.
Monuments of stone bear witness to ages past,
But only your words shine light on shaded memory.
To gain its home, a dove flies tossed in storm,
Its way home deeply locked in jaded memory.
My heart was crushed with anguish, but now you have come
To lift, with a longer past, my laded memory.
Zahhar is again a shuttle in the loom of time,
Yet not the weaver of his graded memory.
Author notes
featured in:
Muse Apprentice Guild: www.muse-apprentice-guild.com/ (Fall 2003 issue)
to learn more about the ghazal: allpoetry.com/Column/784848/all=1
background art by Erin Thomas.
Written August 24th, 2002
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very nice ghazal
hi, i like your ghazal with "Qaffiya" and "Radif". I am just new to this ghazal form. thanks for sharing. I have a lot to learn from your ghazals. thank you.
all the best - Sukhdarshan -
who is Zahhar? I've seen this name in some of your poetry and i think i may have an idea but i don't want to look like a complete moron if i'm totally off. so please im me and let me know if you get the chance so i can better understand. though i did really enjoy this one, i like memory and i like this. it's very good.
-Lorelei -
Hi. I loved this. It seemed to me there may have been a hint of speaking of reincarnation of this, but that may be astretch based on my own preoccupations I have now. I wuld be curious to know.
The only other writer I have admired so greatly on here for style is Rutlandxyz. Your poetry is not only worth reading, but worth analyzing, and discussing. One day when I have lots of energy, I want to sit down, and read all your poetry, and ask you a million and one questions about it all. I am now reading a book that is supposed to help me in my poetry- so that it is not so much an intuitive write, but conscious- even in freestyle. It teaches you that whenever you write poetry every single word, space ect has to be completely deliberate. I don't know if it will sink in, but I hope it will help me improve. Anyway, I will be back, for sure! -
Good Poem
I admire your willing to experiment with many different styles of poetry. You are very talented and I enjoy reading everything you write. However, although I think this is a brilliant piece and very well written, the repition of memory didn't please me as a reader. That is not your fault, I understand. It is the style for that type of poetry, so I am more criticizing the style than the writer- if I am criticizing the writer at all. Keep up the astonishing work. -
in this piece, yes, each couple is a pentameter of one sort or another. if read naturally, without trying to force each couplet into a like meter, it should flow pretty well, though still not great. it was pieces like this that i wrote before i knew much about meter or had much practice with meter that made me realize there was some elaborate relationship between different meters, that different meters could compliment one another. starting with "Path by Moon", i began to make a conscious effort to explore this by alternating between two meters. starting with my last terzanelle "Raven", i have begun to explore this interelationship of meters using three meters. when i finish my work with the terzanelle and villanelle in a couople of years, i plan to work on one final long-term self-training project that will include the writing of several strict pindaric odes. for a pindaric ode to be a true pindaric ode, the three strophes (stanzas) must use the same meters, but the strophes may not use the same meter of any another poem written by the author.
Edited on Sep 04, 3:02 because ''. -
The content of this ghazal is amazing. I see that this is an earlier piece. Tell me. Do all your couplets have the same meter even though they don't all have the same syllable count? I love to learn new forms and I am entranced as of late by ghazals.
~Bezoar -
While reading this poem (did it 3 times) the images that came into my mind were from a person of your past - real or spiritual - who came to invade your head bringing back not only memories but feelings that once were part of your being.
I think that many times we do lock our memory in an attempt to keep us safe from harm, to keep the bad memories away from us, what may happen in that process is to lock the good memories too, in the same room an dthat would be a shame.
Enjoyed the read, thanks!
Hugs, kisses,
Mari
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Hello Erin,
This was an interesting read. I never thought of a homing dove as having a "jaded" memory, but I doubt that anyone minds the way you "wove" that couplet into this one. I am working on a new Ghazal as I write this. Would you care to have a pre-post look at it?
Regards,
Del -
Wow! very good! very clever the way you put "Memory" at the end of every couplet, i liked this poem cus i could relate to it and understnad it, very good.
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