The Ultimate-Creep Goes To Mecca

{Some month in 1999.}

Scribbles, I start the entry...
Now that the book has come to a close
And no one remembers the dues and don'ts
I must still linger, for my pen is poised
Extension of fingers, tasty little boys
Hollywood has turned me into him
So full of hatred, and wasted slim
But I'm going to fold him up to pack
And beat the beast back to Mecca!

{Narration of a memory}

After evacuating the American embassy -
- in Mogadishu with SEAL-team 2.
The first and last time I've ever seen a mob of 10,000
Mind starved, sun blackened zombies rip a human apart.
Then happy dance to candy the mouths of children,
only to stop all at once, and forehead the ground in prayer
Oh ye are truly a God fearing people.

"Why don't we fucking shoot them now?"
"Lieutenant?... FUCK! Give me the order sir!
Those roof top gun men are praying! Everyone's praying
FUCK! GIVE ME THE ORDER!"
Silence...(Yes, we are a paper tiger).

{Two weeks later}

I decided (For some R&R) it would be nice to visit Mecca,
and walk counter clockwise around their shrine,
Then fuck as many naughty Arabian daughters
that I could influence with a fist-full of dollars.
Make them bathe me, and reload-to-light my Hooka
But bad, bad dreams, came at night in the form of blood
splashed children being trampled by their own relatives
In the dirtiest streets that I've ever seen...

{Flash-back in a flash-back}

Mother is painting...I am five..."Will you marry me mother"?
She smiles, then whips me bloody elbowed back to sleep
"Yes", she says. Over and over and under the earlobe with fever.

{Back to the original flash-back}

"SIR, LET ME TAKE THE SHOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"
Again, nothing, silence
The mob springs back to their feet
Mortars and bullets by the millions wiz by.
A wall explodes sending pieces of bricked mud deep into my skin.
Concussion...BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
I fly through the air and land hard on my hands and knees.
The Lt. is twitching and babbling as blood pumps six feet
in the air from his shredded arm.
MEDIC! FUCK! MEDIC!
He bleeds to death apologising to no one in particular.
I hate him and love him symbiotically;
As bullets wiz by, and heli's touch down to evacuate.
I have never ran from anything in my life.
Why don't we fight?
What the hell is going on here?
I am almost twenty years old.
B-day... Days away
Thank you for nothing, but a nation of finks.
Happy birthday son
another card from Uncle Sam.
My tongue is bleeding profusely.
I bite down harder as tears fall... Fall... As I'm falling away...
I catch a Pepsi advertisement off in the distance.
I laugh myself into a cat-nap-nod while we fly high over this wicked
Somalian city back to our desert base.
My heart is broken -- I am broken -- The world is broken.
I will never be a skipping home little boy again.

Because even in slumber while half asleep
You must remember I'm the ultimate creep
And if I'm impaled under your sun?
Remember, I bled there all for fun
Maybe to show you that you've emptied my gun
But won't I still know you when my work is done?
And when I roll the boulder as in rock
From the mouth of my tomb
Forget about a forty-virgined-heaven
I still have my loom.

So read this, and stuff it
In the heart of your pit
Because when you all were sleeping
I tapped your minds with my kit
My words will send you
Back into line
The verses all flow
In ways none can bind
So bite off the last bit
Enjoy it well
I know the truth
And rest assured
I'll never tell
I'll label you common
Then take you to hell.

Once when I was nine...
I found my dog bleeding, dying, freshly hit by a car in the gutter.
There was a group of kids around it watching it whimper,
and choke on its own smashed mouth.
A little girl I recognized from class was poking it with a stick.
Her name was Rumi.
She was long-eye lashed, and very pretty,
but so was my dog.