Place on your fine, gothic wings of the subconcious sleep
Fly past the dark, gloomy castles and the dungeon keeps
Silouhette the orange, blooded moon in the night air
Gorged with blood like the vampire in it's lair
Look for your fate amongst the recesses of your brain
Look at the collective conscious for the very same
Look at the dreamings of the sick and the lame
Look at the beasts that you have managed to tame
Fate is there in the realms of sleep past you
Recognition is the domain of the deja vu
Past the conche trumpets that try to throw of the scent
Study the secrets and mysteries without relent
Open up the box in the darkened tent
Glow like all the evil that has been ever spent
Swoop down and attack the mysteries of despair
Hold onto the golden tresses of the mermaids hair
Look in the waters of the darkened deep wells
Take off your wings and pay a visit to hell
Get that lady to take you off her favourite spell
Fall off that cliff and continue to dream and tell
You have all the answers inside your bloodied head
Do not wait until the blood drops and you are dead
Go to the waterfall of eternal knowledge spent
Lose your fear and anger, you must be forever in repent
Georges
Author notes
Exploring the meaning of dreams. Written September 1st, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Dreams by Absence of Light.
349 points, ended July 16, 2006, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - IMAGINATION NEEDED TO WIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by blood-raven154.
425 points, ended January 26, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Welcome to the Jungle..... by Cynt.
450 points, ended March 4, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The wonders of many sleepless nights. by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
600 points, ended July 23, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dreams......... by Maybe Anastasia.
300 points, ended September 1, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - REM cycling by grassisgreener.
600 points, ended August 21, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 78 of 78
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Eh, I'm not a huge fan of this type of mystical/fantasy poem, especially not for this contest, where end-line rhyme contradicts the purpose of stream of conscious. in any case, thank you for entering
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this was a dark write and i could relate to some of what you was aying. the imagery within it was strong and powerful creating a strong feeling that was unique to the poem. the poem was thought powerful and provoking and was deff captivating so thast the reader dosnt loose intrest. a wonderful write well done
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woot!!
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Very cool! I like the variety in words and ideas, this one hits the key i wanted, on the darkness of your dreams. great stuff!
thnx for your entry, agape- cynt -
not a bad poem, I liked the form of this one better than the other. It feels more like a poem whereas your others felt more like freewrites. I enjoy the imagery here, very nice write.
Good luck,
KP -
favorite? favourite...
I like this poem, and it's theme. Best wishes in the contest. -
I can cannect with this and know manny others who can too. This is a great write and I love it great job. The ability of all on this site have continued to impress me. Well great job and goodluck.
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amazing
Wow, I like this one even more than your other one. You are very deserving of all that applause! Keep it up, and good luck.
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I am extremely happy you entered my contest, thus giving me the chance to read more of your astounding poetry.
I really love this one, especailly because a large part of my day is spent daydreaming and disecting the thoughts and feelings thereof. I found quite the myriad of creatures in your poem. Vampires, mermaids, demons, angels, witches and fairys. Beautiful work once again, Georges. My favorite stanza was:
"Look for your fate amongst the recesses of your brain
Look at the collective conscious for the very same
Look at the dreamings of the sick and the lame
Look at the beasts that you have managed to tame"
The ryhme scheme fits very well. Great write!
-Rothanna
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There is something about this poem that really, really speaks to me. I don't know what it is. Great imagery, beautifully dark write. Good luck in the contest!
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this pomes ok. keep writing. Good luck
my favt stnzer is:
Look for your fate amongst the recesses of your brain
Look at the collective conscious for the very same
Look at the dreamings of the sick and the lame
Look at the beasts that you have managed to tame
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This is so dark! The only suggestion I have is in the last stanza, you mention the word "blood" 2 lines in a row. that kind of threw me off, otherwise, another great write!
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Past the conche trumpets that try to throw of the scent
I believe it is throw off the scent! typing to fast LOL! It has a Good Flow And A god rythem although when you get to this part here
Get that lady to take you off her favourite spell
Fall off that cliff and continue to fall and fell
It seems forced and it has two different tenses That is my only nit picking about the piece! Job Well Done! -
Wow..the imagery here is perfect. Good luck in my contest. La x
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good
this is a good poem, good flow and rhythem...however I am getting tired and it didn't really keep my attention...but if so many people applauded it it must be a good poem. good luck, good job and God bless! -
And dang you got dark angst, hope and inspiring all packed in one poem. If this doesn't win the contest I will be shocked!
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I said I'd be back, and this poem really is not empty imagry, but has a message in every word- it is as fabulous as I had a feeling it would be after reading it the first time. I would venture to say it is right up there with the absolute best. It is very powerful. One thing though - you are so right, the answers to what you need and want are all right there as plain as anything if you just look as you say, but getting those things is another whole story. Many people are trapped in situations beyond their control, and even if they know what they need or want, it is out of their reach. Or they are trapped between loyalty and what they need...I think it was Josephus who said that the reason Eve ate the apple is because she thought it was going to give her what she wanted. What it did is end up opening her eyes to what she wanted, but then those things were out of her reach thereafter.
Great poem. -
wow i see alot of people liked this poem as do i and i see that alot of people applauded this poem... as do i
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Special Request said it well, in that it makes you feel you're not "quite living enough". The mystery of this write is captivating, wanting you to go to those places, see those things, to wash ourselves in the "Waterfall of Eternal Knowledge" Thanks for the journey and good luck in the contest!
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Words perhaps that hold weight. Your own personalized voice spread across the page that contains much hope. This poem drew me in making me feel as if I wasn't quite living enough , you know ? Perhaps thats a positive thing.Directs us to a place of healing which again is so highly personal. This was a touching work of art.
Special
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Grand
That's some pretty wicked stuff... I like the fantastical imagry you convey with words. It's lovely... -
Look for your fate amongst the recesses of your brain
Look at the collective conscious for the very same
Look at the dreamings of the sick and the lame
Look at the beasts that you have managed to tame
I LOVE this stanza, but then it just keeps getting better,and the last stanza is fabulous. This is one to be read a few times over and over before you can really know if you went beyond just imagry to a message in each stanza. I hope to read it again. I wish I could bookmark it, but it's full, and I am not at my home computer to print it out
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Wow! this was truely a great write. this shows that you have a wide imagination. this poem makes me want to go to sleep just so i can dream! this lets a person see way beyond a normal dream! i really enjoyed this write. keep up the good work! i hope to read more from you very soon.
~Fawn~ -
Wow. That's all I can say. *Speechless*
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Superb imagery
WOW! That being said...your imagery is perfect, you truly did a fantastic job. Sometimes you happen upon a piece that just takes your breath away for a few moments in time and this is certainly one of those.
Personally I found nothing wrong with the way this piece was written, no problems with the rhyme or anything else. I found one typo..so what? Sometimes the message of the piece is more important than the little details that bother some people.
That being said...congratulations on a great write!
Victoria Lin -
A lot of deep mysterious language here - kind of going along with a dreamy state of consciousness, where everything in kind of vague and not too clear cut.
Sherlock -
excellent job. Your wording is extremely well done - causing lovely wording. I absolutely adore the images and 'almost-meter' you have in here. Your talent shines through this piecee. The entire thing gives out a terrific message. yay!
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Man I love this. I love the message, the wording, the description. Its gorgeous. I liked it from the beginning to the end. And Not many poems keep me interested all the way through. I have this big thing with dreams where I think they are like.. a forshadowing of the world infront of you, methophorically speaking. Nicely done.
-Sarah- -
Not bad, your language is just high flown enough to make the poem interesting, but not so that we can't understand what you're saying. Dreams are peculiar things aren't they? They feel so real, yet are just really little films in our minds.
I do have to say that sometimes the rhyming was a little weird sounding to me. But hey, it could just be me. And that was really the only critism I could come up with.
Besides that, it was a very nice poem, I enjoyed it a lot. Applause!
Amanda -
BRAVO!!!
OUT OF TIME, MY FRIEND...BRAVO, AS USUAL... 
BE HOME SOON, I HOPE...
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I LOVED THIS POEM!!!!!! HOly crap this was amazing! Absolutely amazing, great write my friend, great write, amazing I am definately bookmarking this one! definately without a doubt. THis was awesome! Great write!
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good job
This sent CHILLS up and down my spine!! Great write and amazing imagery! You have an amazing talent ad I really like this write! You nailed this poem! Good job! -
Details! Amazing details!!
Gloriously beautiful details!! Wow, I've never read a poem so immensley detailed as this! I am dumbfounded. Hehe. Wonderful work! Contest material! Wow. I hope you find a contest to enter this into to! Best Of Luck In Life And Love. ~Poetic Pixie -
excellent rhyming, and a great flow! There are a couple of places where the rhyme seems forced-but apart from that, this is a great write!
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Great
Do dreams have a meaning or is it our minds playing tricks ie over active imaginations? I think I prefere your version, they might be dark but they have a ring of truth about them
Thank you for sharing this, I shall look forward to reading more of your work
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This is really good! I liked it alot Keep it up!
Kayla -
You have drawn a pretty clear view here of what dark and doom might be reflected as. I think you did a very good job at pulling out verses that would put your theme into a strong cast of imagery that is not for the light of heart. I think some of the lines seemed as though they could be just tweaked slightly to tighten up the meter just a bit. Still, overall... it was a strong poem with solid use of words to conjure up the appropriate imagery for your theme.
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way to go!
very detailed. discribtive. -
Dreams are very amazing and this poem was incredibley fascinating and deep. I have such a bad memory though and I never remember anything after five minutes. But what I do remember as of now was great. God I wish there were cures for stupidity, dont you?
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wow......................... I really don't know what else to say. Words couldn't do it justice. Fine job!!
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Excellent Write
beautiful write. Excellent imagery. I loved this poem. Luv Niky xx -
This is very visual. It makes me picture someone, flying through the sky, sleeping, dreaming. Kind of an OBE thing goin' on. I like it.
-Tiffany. -
hi this is me again. i wanted to read it again becuz i didnt get it the first time. well, anyways, i read it again, and i found it as such a gripping story. i was floundered with emotion and i like it alot. keep it up!
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oooooooooooo i like dreams. the cat is in the bag and my wig is in its................ nevermind.. i love you you love me we're a happy family. im in heaven. i like this poem a lot it reminded me of dragons. haha
cuz of the pictures on the side. sorry i have ADD. i like you bye
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Please let me know if I have interpreted this correctly - I think it's about living life to the fullest and all the things we should attempt to do before we die (metaphorically speaking of course).
Very deep and at times dark. LOVED IT! -
artisticaly brilliant
i must say i admire the way u wrote this piece...each line has its own depth to be explored....amazing flow,good rhyming..and picture painted in varied hues..i appreciate the effort u have put into it and yet managed to make it seem so natural and effortless at the same time..the content is a great mix of fantasy and the hidden world inside every man..all in all..an excellent piece of writing!pleasurable read..keep it up! -
great write. i thought this was a very beautiful peice. you used great imagery as well. i hope to see more great this from you!
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mm this is one of the more interesting fantasy poems i've read so far .. you are a very very talented writer and you managed to rhyme very well ! my fave lines :
Silouhette the orange, blooded, moon in the night air
Gorged with blood like the vampire in it's lair
that part really gave me a vivid visual and the backgroud was chosen well also all around good job
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Great!
That is a very deep poem. I loved the great amount of detail you put into it! Keep up the good work! 8-) -
I liked the start of the intriguing piece, it really did appeal to me and made me read on. Once again, great imagery and exploration of the meaning of dreams and sleep. Take care and thanks for my comment. Kate
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cha-ching!
I usually don't care for fantasy poems but your poem was exceptionally written. It could use a bit of a clean up in a few sticky lines, but it was a great poem. You are a great story teller.
-AliciA -
Wow! This was a lot for this early in the morning but like everything I have read of yours, it was certainly worth the effort. You have put a lot of time and effort into this. I can see your heart and thoughts dripping from your pen as it hits the paper. This was fabulous. Thank you for sharing it.
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I hope this isn't about drugs if it is I am very upset. I have seen too many dead people because of drugs. If you send me the money for a stamp I will post you pictures of these dead people that my policeman friend gave me. Contact me on this site for an address you can send the money to.
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amusing at best for me, and poems have been formed from the strands that hover in the morn, but there are those who dream and then create massive contributions to society, such as Martin Luther King, and various inventors whose ideas came in the dead of night....good write, and a bit dreamy to boot....Artis
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Wow, dude. That's really deep. And really gothic too . I like it. Keep up the good work and don't let your public *gestures around at other comments* down!
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yes brilliant. beautiful. i dont know how you thought all that up but gee golly that was beautiful. wonderful flow and rhyming and the imagery you have in it is awesome. the poem made me picture everything you were saying. thats a wonderful talent too i must add. great job!!
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Brilliant piece of imagery! I love poems that rhyme and you certainly have done a good job here. I also rhyme in most of my poetry and yet what I see in your writing is something special. You take the reader to where you want them and keep them uplifted throughout their reading journey. You truly have a great talent and I hope I see you promoting more of your work because otherwise I would never have found your poem. Great work.
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What a remarkable poem
Open up the box in the darkened tent
Glow like all the evil that has been ever spent
Swoop down and attack the mysteries of despair
Hold onto the golden tresses of the mermaids hair
I loved the flow of the above best and Ive never read a deam written like this. You captured it wonderfully and the feelings of yours feel real to me -
i loved your 2nd stanza...you're an awesome poet Georges...sometimes i like reading it before bed because then i dream what you wrote...and it's fun to watch me see what you may have seen previously........
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awesome
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wow. this was awesome. i liked it a lot. it kinda sounds like it's a chant. almost like it's got all the answers to life within the words. little riddles and stuff like that that you have to figure out. it's definately different from the things that i've read before.
very interesting. dark, but interesting. you have talent, i think. please keep writing.
*mimi-kat* -
Woah... this poem was awsome... I absolutely loved it. It flowed falwwlessly and had a nice rythem to it. The word chice was also superb. The emotion was overflowing as well... My favorite part of the poem, however was it's incrediblewisdom it seemed to contain. You obviously put a lot of thought into this poem, because it is incredible... some of the lines just blow me away, such as:
"Recognition is the domain of the deja vu"
OR
"Look for your fate amongst the recesses of your brain"
OR
"You have all the answers inside your bloodied head"
I mean... thsoe are simply fantastic... I don't even know what to say other that you are incredibly talented.
Again, super write, and keep up the great work!!!
---Katy
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Nice work
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Recognition is the domain of the deja vu
...wonderful line! Overall, a good poem! Though towards the end, I was less and less a fan of the rhyming. But still, much better rhyming than some of the other stuff I've read in here. Great images...I love the feeling you convey of going on this journey, sinking deeper, deeper...discovering treasures, exploring. It's really quite exciting. ~El d
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Awesome write!This was a cool dream to explain..This was my favorite stanza
"Place on your fine, gothic, wings of the subconcious sleep
Fly past the dark, gloomy, castles and the dungeon keeps
Silouhette the orange, blooded, moon in the night air
Gorged with blood like the vampire in it's lair"
Awesome imagery.Great write,can't wait to read more
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This is interesting. I like it, it is well written.
"Fate is there in the realms of sleep of you
Recognition is the domain of the deja vu
Past the conche trumpets that try to throw of the scent
Study the secrets and mysteries without relent"
I really liked this section. Very good
Catherine -
"dreams are bad when they take hold of you
And leave the truth behind"
a nice poem, the flow and rhyming trully go your way in this... I like how you've cleverly put in fact, theory, and pure fiction, well done... Dark? I don't really see this as dark... I don't really know how people can see this as Dark, eerie yes, but not dark... I like the way that you've created this eerieness by your careful diction.
well done,
--Ben -
A good poetic journey into the mind. Dreams slip from underneath the fingernails that scratch the sheets wrapping imagery, the pillow collects the shades.
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excellent write with wonderful imagery
this was an awsome poem..i wish i could capture some of my dreams the way you did this one.. i have some pretty wild dreams but also have short term memory.. so even when i try to write them i loose 'em before i am finished... need to work on that..well any ways.. BRAVO to you.. as always... wonderful poem ~iccara~ -
Great poem, but a little dark for my tastes. Great rhymes, and great flow, really great rythm. I loved it for it's poetic correctness (if such a thing exists) but personaly I don't like the subject
Jessica -
Amazing!
WOW Georges this is awesome! It is so dreamlike in it's exploration of dreams that it is almost as surreal to read as dreams are to explore. It is totally fascinating and so well worded and delivered the whole piece just flows as a dream would and has an equally intriguing tone and effect as any dream experienced. Very deep and even structured as a dream would playout in the mind of a sleeper, kind of random as it roams the subconcious and explores the realms of the psyche. This is definately one of the best representations of dream sequences that I've read in a poetic format, it really is the bomb and absolutely stunning. I applaud you,
~Samantha
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woah. nice!
lol. this seems like somehting out of a horror book or soemthing. It is really good. I'm very impressed with your quality of ryhme. ^_^.
~*~ -
really good write leeche dreams is something we all need sometimes they changed or fade or take different shapes good job on this write leeche.
Pendragon -
Dark and fantasmal. Fun to imagine the way this person flies into the night.
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wow..this is really good work...it really made me think. ^_^..well nweiz good job^_^ keep writin..take care. ^_^
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This is one stunninge piece of writing - from start to finish! The imagery is astounding, such is the realm of dreams. I totally enjoyed this piece.
Astral Wolf -
Oh wow! I just love the wording that you use to describe everything! The flow and scheme is amazing! I know that I have often pondered this very same subject.......what is the meaning? Will we ever know? ahhhhh to dream!
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This has a real esoteric feel about it. Still trying to work out how it made me feel - kind of spiritually deep and dark and yet self explanatory. have to think about this one for a while
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