Where your words drift like drizzle down to bead me
I stumble through the vacant ways you lead me.
Each night beneath the shifting gaze of your eye
I listen for your silent words that feed me.
How can this clay begin to know its aspect
If your caress will never cease to knead me.
I am for you to harrow or abandon;
But, know my heart longs for your hands to weed me.
I never learned to fence with their ensate words,
And so I feared that their misuse would bleed me.
In the desert sways a lone rose on the wind;
Each day it asks the sky, “why did you seed me?”
“Why torment me,” one day I asked, “with your song?”
“Zahhar”, I heard, “deep in your heart you heed me.”
Author notes
featured in:
Muse Apprentice Guild: www.muse-apprentice-guild.com/ (Fall 2003 issue)
to learn more about the ghazal: allpoetry.com/Column/784848/all=1
Written September 4th, 2002
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1 - 7 of 7
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I'm assuming your addressing a muse or inspiration in this poem.
And you must have alot of discipline and receptive nature to listen quietly. Sounds like gardening is your thing. cake -
Yes, this is beautiful indeed. Has a lyrical feel to it, really - as though one can hear it sung or spoken rhythmically in one ear as he reads. Very well done, in that respect. You honor the art.
Much respect,
Sarah
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very nice. i love this. i love the background and everything. see i'm a weird one i think that the backgrounds and font colors should bring something to the actual peice and not just be something or anything to lie around. it's got to bring it to life somehow. and you've done very good with that.
-Lorelei -
I had to read this one a few times before it would sink in. Its flow is choppier than your other ghazals but seeing as how you wrote this a couple of years ago it makes your recent ones show how far you've progressed. As for this piece I do like every single couplet.
~Bezoar
Edited on Sep 03, 7:56 p.m. because ''. -
i think i worded it this way because i wanted the "one day i asked" to slow the flow of the line, creating a pause to allow the reader to ponder the words. but, i wrote this a while ago, so i can't be sure. considering it now, two years later, i think i still like the original wording, though i would be hard-pressed to explain "why".
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Hello Erin,
I hope you have recovered from your hysteria over my "bic flicking"...teehee.
This was an enjoyable read but I have a question about your choice of wording in the final couplet.
“Why torment me,” one day I asked, “with your song?”
Why not...One day I asked, "Why torment me with your song?"
just for the grammatical correctness of it? Is there a specific reason for wording it as you have. More curiosity than criticism, mind you. Either way it is another fine example of your deep respect for the natural world.
Cheers,
Del
Edited on Sep 01, 7:30 p.m. because ''. -
I applaud.
Excellent rhyme, great flow, good story.
I may have to try one of these some day...
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