To you who would give me thyself,
and I have found no bigger love
Than the ends of your green eyes.
And to you who would lend me an ear
Give me blood and bread for my work
Wipe sweat from my golden body.
For you in the daylight & evening stars
Venus, especially, bringing me the sun
My hands, in yours, a resigning sign.
Lavender mixtures, and rose petal smooth
Oils, and incense, with music and food
Time stops for us; as we forget, and muse.
Of you of the white cloth and pyramids
Your science and healing magic, Atlas
You are my heart Atlantis & Hesperus.
My mother, my lover -- raced for your apples
Brought me to this place of purity
Through a wicked ocean of sin, and burn
I have lived a strong life, and I have learned.
What it is to love.
What it is to dream.
What it is to live
Through a Threnody.
Author notes
Madison Renee Buckley
Written August 31st, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Help me help someone else..... by Raggedy Ann.
300 points, ended June 16, 2005, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ Eye of the Soul ~ by Heart Sutra.
1000 points, ended October 28, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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a pleasured read
I thought I would stop by and read something that is hard to be original with. You captured love in such a way, I got a sense of you be lured by the goods, so- to- speak, but found something much more fulfilling. This was a true pleasure to read
Peace Muddy -
Very well written and heartfelt. Thank you so much for entering it.
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Beautiful
Dang Girl, this is really good! keep up the great work and I wish you luck in teh contest!
-TIffany -
Beyond the lamentations, we find the answer. This gave great insight into the one that both lights your fire and quenches your fever. So many things to find between the lines. It was loaded with images that rang clear in the muffled noise of so many voices vying for recognition. Nicely done!
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I really like your poetry. I believe I've already read two or three of your poems and all have been equally as good! In this poem, I enjoyed this stanza the best just because it was so cool, "Lavender mixtures, and rose petal smooth
Oils, and incense, with music and food
Time stops for us; as we forget, and muse." I loved that! Anyways, great write! Keep it up!
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not too shabby, I liked this. It's beautifully written.
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this is a fantastic love poem. i've tried writing a few love poems myself, but i can never convey the emotions so they're not tacky or chiche, but you did in the most perfect and beautiful way. you have my applause and respect! God bless!!
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but it wasn't totally insane, you are slipping. this was pretty good, for a fishcake i suppose, makes me hungry.
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Well done, this was so besutiful. I really enjoyed it.
It flows really well.
It was really moving.
Good job. -
Entranced, encumbered by nill
frostbite on my ass...
At a glanced, chumming for kill
spill another glass...
Your work moves me, maaaan.
(pay no mind to the lit chick) -
The contest is over.
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I liked most of it, some kind of went off track, for me, but I found it soothing. Good luck in the contest.
LR -
Excellent.
I liked the overall feel of thsi poem but I have to say that I particularly liked the second, thrid and forth stanzas. The second for the wonderful description of the stars and planet Venus in association with love; isn't Venus the goddess of love (I think so, but correct me if I'm wrong.) The third stanza I liked because of the beautiful descriptive element it had to it; the scents, the atmosphere - creating a wonderful, almost therapeutic, feel. Then in the forth you bring in mysteries of the world (which can again be directly associated with love) such as the pyramids and Atlantis. All in all this was an enjoyable write. Well done
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Whatever.
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Right...
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na
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great poem!
Very beautiful poem! I loved this1 this one is really touching and words are written beautifully, inspiringly. keep on writing!
<3 maureen <3 -
Excellence , perfection , easy to read , nice rhythm and flow , there is not much more I can say , besides that I enjoyed it
Reenie
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Great write~ What can I say that hasn't been said?!? It seems to come full circle.
I enjoyed this very much! -
I am speechless. Touched my heart. Very imagery, vivid I think as well. I had toto go to the dictionary to look up the last word. Maybe it is just me, but I think maybe a easier word there would of help the reader. I for one don't use words like these and therefore when I read something I have to look up the meaning and then put it in the sntence to understand it. No matter it is an excellent poem. Good Luck in the contest.
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Truly a wonderful piece... you got me sniffing again. damn you.. there's never any kleenex round your stuff
beautiful
Good luck.. this sounds like a winner to me
~GILL~xxx -
Thank you...
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You missed out a few positives: you are a wonderful writer, and (I may be in the minority on this one, and of course this is only from reading those relating to other people) also a wonderful critic. Barbie. Xx You know your poems are good, so I won't tell you that.
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Excellent
A very well put together poem with good references and flow.
Reads very well with enough bite to get the reader to the reference book or encarta. Excellent work.
Georges -
A lament for the dead.
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i reallyliked this it flowed beautifully and caught my attention and my soul,lol one question though, whats a threnody???? lol aprt from that i enjoyed it and i feel so stupid fopr asking that question.............b3l
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Wonderful notes, I used them all, thank you.
Edited on Aug 31, 7:04 p.m. because ''. -
It is without doubt the greatest inspiration of all. Exquisitely crafted poem oozing affection and tenderness. I had to consult with my online Oxford English to determine the meaning of threnody - but there you have it - learned something new. Well worth 1000.
Enjoyed immensely.
~ Sonia ~ -
This is quite good, with great imagery.
Just a grammar glitch and a few typos: i.e., 'to you who would..'; 'an ear'; 'resigning'; 'Hesperus'.
I particularly like the last stanza and last line, "Through a Threnody". Excellent.
(I have an objection to the intense red of the background; it makes it very hard on the eyes and difficult to read.)
~ G
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this is written well. i got lost in a few places. me thinks it's me brain ain't focusing
tho i don't have a lot to say i did not want to waste your points. intead of words i send you applause! -
wow this really captivated me! your words flowed so smoothly, and your word depiction was great, and a truly heartfelt poem..great job, beautiful write
Jen
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